Isaacs Picture Conclusions

JUG FACE (2013) THREE TOP HATS

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For a guy like myself. Well wait – the day I watched this I was flipping through iTunes, looking for something modern to watch, looking at trailers and not finding anything that looked exceptional. When I came across a movie called JUG FACE you already know I was hooked and rented it without even watching the trailer. I mean, a name like JUG FACE is just what this site needs, all day every day. While I was waiting for it to download I looked at the one comment (at the time) on IMDB and someone said it was executive produced by Lucky McKee and I thought – hey! All right!! I dig McKee. Then I gave it a watch and it was going pretty good for a while and then it got a little iffy with some sketchy supernatural parts, picked up a little and then left me with a “that’s how it ended after everything we’ve been through???” feeling as the credits rolled. oh well, it wasn’t too bad but probably not worth the ten bucks I spent on the rental.

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JUG FACE is about this girl here, see. We open to her running through the woods and having some thrusty sex up against a tree. Shortly after we learn that she lives in a hillbilly community in the middle of the woods that eats possum and stills moonshine. Oh, we also learn that the person she was having thrusty tree sex with is her brother. Oh – and she’s pregnant. With his baby. Anyway, this community lives around this pit in the ground, that they worship. It also houses a very evil entity within it’s bubbling waters that occasionally possesses this dimwitted potter who creates JUG FACES resembling residents of the woods. These images represent someone the pit wants sacrificed to appease it’s violent and evil tendencies. HMMMM – sounds like the Old Testament.

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Turns out her parents have signed her on to marry this portly fellow and, if it turns out she’s not a virgin, they’ll have to give the other parents some money or something so she’s in a real pickle. One day, she’s off putting red paint in her undies to pass for menstrual blood and she comes across the latest JUG FACE……… AND IT’S HER!!!!!! God damn, now she’s in a predicament. I won’t give out any more in case you want to see it – except for there’s this kid that shows up every now and then shrouded in black smoke or something of the sort that I didn’t really get and those small parts of this didn’t really work for me. They felt unnecessary. And kinda dumb.

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Jug Faces That Have Come Before

All in all, I didn’t hate it but some things didn’t work that well and I suppose it would be right and honest to add that this is the most acting Sean Young has done in sixteen forevers.  She’s old now and her boobs are giant and saggy but I still remember when she was hot and bee-yoo-tee-ful. I liked the girl who played the lead – hopefully she’ll be in some things I watch in the future. Oh well, over and out. Check out this alternate poster. I would totally hang that on my wall.

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39 comments

  1. GaryLee828

    Dude, for the price of that rental you could have gotten a month of netflix instant, and had change; they have plenty of obscure horror movies you could peruse. I can offer you recommendations, as well. That’s what I do! 🙂

    You really need to check out “Home Sweet Home”. I’m interested in your reaction of that ending…

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  2. GaryLee828

    I’ve heard a couple different people recommend this movie; do you think I’d like it at all? It sounds pretty bad from what you’ve described here.

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  3. garylee828

    I just watched “Jug Face” over the weekend, so am revisiting your review. I pretty much share all your same sentiments on this one. I was expecting a different kind of ending. But I did actually like this pretty well, mostly b/c of Duwaii’s character who I thought was pretty endearing and humorous. The guy kept reminding me of Will Ferrell. So I looked him up and saw dude was played by Sean Bridgers, who played the psycho father on “The Woman” who I also said reminded me of Will Ferrell the entire time I watched that one. So, I guess Sean Bridgers reminds me of Will Ferell. lol. I guess Lucky McKee likes Sean. Honestly, I thought he gave a tremendous performance here as Duwaii; his character was congruent throughout, and he made a lot of unique choices to make him feel like an individual and much more than just some mere hillbilly. I thought Bridgers was humorous in “The Woman” but a bit over-the-top, but here in this one I really think Bridgers was fantastic. I was really surprised to be so impressed with a performance from this movie. And I agree with you, the lead girl here was very good, as well. I expect to see her in a string of roles over the next couple of years.

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      • garylee828

        I thought I did, too, but i didn’t see it on the message board; maybe it was Twitter! I think someone else had talked about how bad it was when I said that to you. Honestly, I thought you were the one who trashed it, which was why I never watched it sooner. After watching I went to your review that I thought shit on it, and was going to disagree with you and tell you it wasn’t so bad. But then I learned you actually liked it. Maybe it was Tyson who hated it. I do think “Jug Face” is a silly name for a movie and it does look like it could truly be SF material; glad to see I was wrong about this one. Not great or anything, but was unpredictable and had a couple really strong performances, so worth the ticket price for that. 🙂

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      • theipc

        No – it was a different post but I don’t remember which one – you were all “Stop watching this shit and shit like Jug Face!!” (but you might not have used the word “shit”) – but it was something like that…

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      • garylee828

        LOL. Hey, I STILL stand by that!! I may have been off this one time, but 90% of the time I’m right!!! lol.

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