LOL – I don’t now what language that movie poster is but it’s the only one I could find that was large enough to fit my theme. Rock on Mr. Creeper! Back in June, our main South African ZOE posted about Jeepers Creepers and I said something like “I haven’t seen these in years but I think I thought the first one was stupid but liked the second one” and she volleyed with something like “Are you sure, you stupid dumbass??” (just kidding she’s nice and would never say that I don’t think) but it challenged me to give them a shot. I absolutely hated the first one and wrote about it HERE and then gave the second one a go.
While I still don’t understand why he wears a duster and pants, gone is the idiotic and ridiculous nonsense where drives around in a old fucking truck with a vanity license plate and gone is the fact that there was no reason for anything he was doing in the first movie. And – while I liked this tremendously more than the first fucker, there’s still some problems with this one like: why is he filled with what looks like shredded cardboard stuffing?? And: why did the director really think it was necessary to have those kids on the bus singing their fight song for what seemed to be 40 straight minutes?? And: why did Justin Long have a tattoo of a ROSE around his belly button???? Other than that and the fact that it seemed like it was 14 hours long, it wasn’t too bad and I always like some Ray Wise.
This time they explain that he gets let out of wherever he lives every 23 years to feed… ON YOU!!!! They also get off and let us know that he kills other certain people because he needs a part of them – like a head or an arm. This one also has Ray Wise as a distraught father whose son is taken by the creature so he fights back. This is certainly not scary in any way but, compared to the first one, this is a miracle. Unfortunately, like him or not, we do have to spend a little time with Justin Long again who has eyeballs sometimes and then sometimes he doesn’t.
l don’t think there’s much else to say about this one. A group of adults playing teenagers and a couple of adults playing adults are trapped on a bus so they have an explicit, triple X-Rated orgy complete with super slow motion money shots before getting picked off one by one by the blue monster man. Eventually, Wise constructs a giant, mechanical dong out of spare metal parts he has in his barn and captures the Creeper with the lure of intense butt sex. Elsewhere, people in undisclosed locations across the planet who want to beat their meat will find this post using Google and search terms created from words used in my last few sentences.
P.S. Not much of that last paragraph is true. (Except for that last sentence).