Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SPRING BREAKERS (2012) HMMM… THREE TOP HATS

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Honestly, My Beloveds, I’m really divided about this movie. Half of this thing is a beautiful piece of work with a bunch of chicks running around in slow motion, robbing joints in bikinis. Another half of this is an obnoxious piece of shit that’s just a bunch of people yelling and screaming and doing drugs and drinking and screaming and doing keg stands and yelling and rapping and shooting and screaming and acting like a real jerk. Like everyone else has reported, James Franco (who I normally CAN’T FUCKING STAND) is pretty phenomenal in this so if you’ve ever wanted to see him actually act and not just stand there collecting a bunch of money from his movie making friends, this is a good one to take a chance on. Other than that and bunch of young looking girls slinking around in skimpy two piece bikinis, this is probably not one I’d ever watch again.

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In the traditional, classic Paradigm, the Good and Proper Christian Virgin Girl gets mixed up with her childhood friends who like to talk about giving blow jobs and their own – um – er – well – Whahoozits and they all decide to get out of town for Spring Break and head to the beach. In order to get the money to do this they rob a chicken joint, hop on a bus to paradise and party their asses off with a bunch of strangers, doing coke and drinking and sleeping wherever and showing off their navels and their butts and all of that and eventually wind up in the clink. Kind of like what Scrotey and I did in Padre back in 1990. Scrotey sure likes to show his navel.

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Franco and his corn rows and gold teeth comes in like a hustler and bails them out so, naturally, they go on a crime spree, like we all do.  Someone gets shot and blah blah blah blah blah blah leading up to the big finale. I thought the big finale was actually pretty well done and believable for the most part but, after it’s all over, there’s not much to reflect on and, considering I watched this a couple of weeks ago, I’ve pretty much forgotten about most of it except for what I have in these pictures and that scene where Franco gives a deep throat BJ to a couple of pistols. “I just sucked y’alls dicks, y’all!”

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Oh well, it is what it is I suppose. It certainly didn’t make do this:

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 P.S. Don’t forget to get your SHITFEST entries in – time’s running out!! This is gonna be good fun!

51 comments

  1. Where I think this movie really works is in the way it actually has something to say, and talk about. It’s not perfect, but it’s an important flick and that’s what struck a chord with me the most. And the bewbs too. Good review.

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  2. davecrewe

    This is actually my favourite film of the year so far. Thoughtful, beautiful, with a dark streak of intelligence and satire running underneath the blurred neon surface.

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  3. Tom

    you know, I actually really dug this. I won’t ever buy it and likely won’t watch it again. Actually wait, I did rent it from red box a couple weeks ago and skipped over a few scenes to get to the – e-hem – good parts, and then watched it from there to the end. There was definitely a strong social commentary buried in the thick of weird melodramatic artistry that harmony korine applied to the edits. in many ways its quite a pretentious film, actually, that’s clearly divided audiences down the middle. no matter, it’s still completely NOT the movie i was expecting it to be walking in. that’s all sure. good review man

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  4. Don’t know about this one. I’ll check it out if it’s on the movie channels but I can’t say I’ve ever exactly enjoyed a Harmony Korine film. And chicks in bikinis don’t do it for me. At least, not the ones in this. Especially the Disney girls! That’s just disturbing…

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