I had a friend for that I used to run around with for about twenty years who was (is) easily the most A.D.D. riddled, useless son of a bitch that’s ever existed, but we were friends and had many adventures and I’ve punched him several times and now every time I see him we get in yelling fights and have to be restrained. That is what it is and we are what we are and we do what we do but, in the end, this movie remains the ONLY example of anything that he has ever paid attention to for longer than five minutes. Those of you that know me / us know who I’m talking about, so just imagine him sitting still long enough to watch a full length movie. Anyway – from a perspective of this site, I remembered really loving this when I saw it way back when and when I gave it a watch last week, it wasn’t quite as wonderful as I remembered, but it wasn’t too bad. It was pretty dated, Matty Mac really hammed it up and Powers Boothe really got his Tolliver on (that’s a Deadwood reference). On a remarkable note, one year the wife and I went on vacation at this place in the Ozark Mountains called Eureka Springs and there, at a bar, I was looking across the bar-top at someone I totally recognized. After some whispering with the Mrs. and some obvious ogling, she introduced herself and we all talked for a while. It was Missy Crider who you may or may not remember from POWDER. She’s in this too.
This starts on a dark and stormy night where Mathias McNaughneheehee is sitting in a dark and stormy office of Boothe’s Dallas branch FBI agent. He tells Boothe that he knows who the “God’s Hand” serial killer is – it’s his little brother. Are you familiar with McNaughneheehee? If you are, you’ll get this – he then very slowly, tells a story about his childhood in flashback form involving Billy Paxton as his pop-top beer drinking, Marlboro straight smoking dad and another kid as his little brother.
One night, his dad:
Has a “Vision From God” which just may or may not be the moonlight reflecting off of a trophy on his dresser. An angel tells him that his family has been put on Earth to slay demons and he’ll be back later to give him more instructions. He tells his kids what happened and the older one doesn’t believe, while the younger buys it hook, line and sinker.
Soon, the dad sees this guy:
while he’s underneath a car giving it an oil change (he’s a mechanic by trade) but it could just be sparks from someone welding something nearby and he’s just going prison-shithouse crazy. The angel gives him a list of names of demons posing as people, God Almighty gives him visions of where his weapons are and then he gets to doing some demon slaying. “GOD FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR MOTHER FUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!!!!!!” he screams as he blows their brains all over the garage wall before serving their guts to his kids for supper (and sometimes as leftover sandwiches for lunch). I’m not 100% sure that last part is true but he does chop them up with an axe and bury them in a public rose garden nearby.
That’s probably about enough of this nonsense… when this came out it was R-Rated but that was almost 13 years ago and this could probably just show on “regular” TV here in the U.S. This is a good movie with nice looking sets and outfits and haircuts and shit but it’s also kind of tame compared to what we see today. It’s one of those drama-thrillers that has a lot of talking and eye-acting but it’s OK. Lem – this is probably one you could watch with the Lem Family and get something out of it