BY: THE SPORADIC CHRONICLES OF A BEGINNER BLOGGER
I am not even going to go into what this story is about, because it was supposed to be about Freddy Kruger, right? Right? Erm, whatever. Everyone knows what Freddy is supposed to be about.
There will always be someone that wants to remake something or reboot a franchise. There will always be that one guy that insists on re-exploring something, for better or worse. A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010) was just such an endeavour. In all fairness, let us begin with what was right with this movie – nothing.
So now that we have that out of the way we can begin a totally unbiased and completely well-adjusted bitch session about all the things that were wrong with this movie, which was in shocking abundance.
For one – Freddy used to be funny! Funny in that dark, messed up, cheesy horror kind of way. That was Freddy. Then apparently it was a good idea to throw almost two decades worth or character out the window and introduce this appallingly bad, bland, no good, two-bit Freddy Krueger. Pffffffff. Since when was he supposed to be so hardcore and overly serious? When did that become acceptable in the Krueger-realm of nightmares?
The voice. Oh, I have to add this to the list. That voice was just… like a face palm each and every time Jackie Earle Haley opened his mouth. I want to blame him, but he is also just playing the role that was given to him. But truly, a little more grace? Nothing made me giggle about Freddy in this one, but nothing made me want to run screaming (in terror, for the record), either – except if it was to escape the atrocity of a film. If you go from dark humour to serious, do it properly, don’t be so damn desperate about it!
I had some major issues with the new look. Granted, I understand that it is supposed to look more accurate for a burn victim, more realistic and all that, but come on! There was pretty much nothing of the original concepts left. Freddy was different in each and every movie that he did, sure, but really?! This is what it boils down to? Really?! You cannot change something that radical twenty six years later!
I really would have thought that with the modern technology that we have today that the dream sequences would have been incredible, fresh, new and gorgeous, and far more terrifying (even if they totally messed up everything else). Hell no, I could not have been more wrong even if I tried my worst. There really is not a single saving grace for this.
The creators went out of their way to revolutionize the franchise unnecessarily, and it bombs more often than not, and it is not something that you miss, either. Please, people, why mess with a good thing?! They blatantly ripped through old material, and just regurgitated it, almost as though it was supposed to be fresh. It was not. It was simply copied and pasted from the old movies, such as the human pinball bouncing off the walls scene, the dragging body bag, the clawed bubble bath scenes… just why would you do something like that? Don’t even try to sell me that homage crap! Then there were all the stolen lines, and used completely out of context. I know that this is supposed to be a collaboration of the new and the old but what the hell? Nothing fresh, nothing new and the desecration of the old classics? What did they think they were bringing to the table?
Another big thing… no more “bitch” after lines for Freddy? Who is this guy?!
Then there was the defilement of the Freddy Krueger history… damn. Last I checked, he was bust for killing kidlets, his wife and daughter suffered, the mother was killed, he went to stand trial, he got off on a technicality, and the residents of Elm Street unanimously decided to take justice into their own hands and burn the monster! What is this bullshit that there were some people that were intent on defending the guy? They felt bad about their very own little witch hunt? That they pitied him? That he stood no trial, that he was not officially arrested and accused? Pfffff. Almost two decades of logic, eight films and back story that was just binned because fuck it?! WHY?!
Robert Englund is not someone that is just dethroned from the striped sweater and fedora kingdom. Especially not after his long and successful run with the character, through both the good and the bad scripts.
This was just an absolute disaster. I really cannot find anything that I feel like highlighting in here except that it is truly preposterous and should be avoided at any and all cost. I feel guilty just giving it a 2/10.