Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2013: FALL ~ 2 HEADED SHARK ATTACK

SFBANNER8ABY: TRANQUIL DREAMS

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2 Headed Shark Attack (2012)
Director: Christopher Ray
Cast: Carmen Electra, Charlie O’Connell, Brooke Hogan, Christina Bach
2 headed shark attack poster
ROFL! I’m sorry *contains laughter* Every time I think about this movie, I can’t help but to laugh at it.  Even now, I’m trying to grasp how bad it can be.  I mean, I was choosing between two Mega Shark versus movies and this one was original with 2 Headed Shark! DUN DUN DUN! By any possible chance, you probably could still catch this one on Netflix. LOL! I mean if you absolutely want to…
Lets give you a little plot first! A group of students are on a summer camp to learn about the sea and water, etc.  This class is lead by Sea King captain Professor Babish.  On board we also have his wife, also responsible for medical issues, Anne and the mechanical saVvy one (forgot her name). On their voyage, they are hit by something that breaks their hull.  As the mechanic girl repairs the boat, Professor Babish brings his group of students to look for scrap metal in the nearby atoll.  As they discover the atoll is flooding, they also learn that they are being hunted by a 2 headed shark.
2 headed shark attack brooke hogan
I really just want to write LOL and end the review right there but okay, we`re going to see how to do this without being too mean.  This movie is horrible! Think of everything bad that could happen to the movie and it did.  One of the big ones being absolutely ugly CGI. I`m not crazy about it in the first place but this one was just so bad.  You chose a more recent movie because I always feel that I can`t comment about an older movie but this one was even worse than that scene in Deep Blue Sea with Samuel L. Jackson.  If you’ve seen that movie, you probably will know that part! That was from 1999 and this was made in the very recent 2012.
2 headed shark attack carmen electra
I knew going into this it was going to be bad acting galore, but it was also one of the reasons I chose this because even if it did suck in the acting, at least for all you guys, at least there was Carmen Electra and even I think she has a hot body.  I also know she has this way over exaggerated way of talking because I saw one of her sexy workout videos before to teach people how to be “fit to strip”.  The dialogue was just stupid, retarded, ridiculous.  No one in this can act and none of the characters did anything that made sense.  BUT, if you want to mute it and just watch big breast chicks, then you have a good amount of those.  Plus, there are naked chicks as well.  Plus, if I had a professor like the dude in this one, I’d quit the course because he’s just so dumb, for one, you always do head counts when you go on field trips instead of just moving along without giving a crap.  If he did that, he would have realized something has been chomping away at his students.
2 headed shark attack 3some1
The highlight of this flick HAS TO be the 2 headed shark, right? It’s the reason this movie was made in the first place! If you saw that title, I’m sure, like me, you’d think its probably going to be bad anyways.  Man, are we ever right? Literally, almost all the shots of the two headed sharks were just a copy of the previous one and another copy of the previous one.  Same one, over and over and over again.  *roll my eyes* The only exception was the jump attacks and then those were just such bad CGI! Plus, that shark was not intimidating.  It was just ugly! So absolutely ugly! Especially in close-up attacks, it was so funny because it looked like it had sponge teeth.  The eyes looked like buttons, the chomping motion was like it had flimsy teeth that didn’t sink in; everything was so ridiculously fake!
2 headed shark attack shark
I think you get the point, right? I definitely hit the jackpot on this one.  My last one was just boring but this one was bad.  All kinds of bad! Except for one (I guess) almost all the pictures up there 😉 Plus, they didn’t even give me a hot guy to look at! FAIL!
DEFINITE SHITFEST MATERIAL!!!

60 comments

  4. Kim @ Tranquil Dreams

    Reblogged this on Tranquil Dreams and commented:
    Check out my post for Shitfest: Fall over at Isaacs Pictures Conclusions! I chose an extreme worthy movie. Since those horror box sets weren’t really doing the trick, I just picked a random movie on Netflix and amazingly, it hit all levels of bad 🙂
    It was a blast doing this. Definitely check out the other Shitfest entries. They are all very awesome 🙂

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  7. Smash

    I’m impressed! I mean, if they were able to get a top A-list star like Brooke Hogan to “act” in it, then surely this movie is deserving of more than a couple oscar noms.

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  9. Wednesday's Child

    A classic example of trying to get by on title alone. Two Headed Shark! Snakes On A Plane! Nude For Satan! The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies! Weasels Rip My Flesh! Well, I’m onto their tricks. I’m still going to watch these movies, but I’m going to mock them the entire time, so there.

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  12. Nick Powell

    One body. Two heads. 6,000 Teeth. I’m going to go out on a limb and point out that a single shark does not have 3,000 teeth. Imagine other two headed animals. Two Headed Snake.. One Body. Two Heads. 333 Tongues!… Two Headed Cow… One Body. Two Heads. 1,456 Udders! Two Headed Turtle. One Body. Two Heads. 4,569… Shells? This shit is crazy!

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  13. table9mutant

    Ha! Great review. I’d maybe watch this if there was a hot guy. Since there isn’t, I guess I’ll have to avoid it. Damn! Isn’t it funny how those bikini tops seem to all just fall off so easily in these type of films??? 😉

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