Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2013: FALL ~ MOVIE 43

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BY: HEAD IN A VICE

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MOVIE 43

MOVIE43

I’m astounded no one chose this movie for Shitfest when the original competition was held earlier this year. Then, when Eric told me no one had chose it this time either, well, justice had to be served.

So why does Movie 43 deserve to be here? Come on, there was only ONE person out of my movie blogging community that I saw give it a decent write up. That man was Chris ‘FilmHipster‘ Canada, so his opinion is not that of a normal person.  Allow me to give my reasons as to why Movie 43 is so shit, and deserves the trophy that will cost Eric a fortune to ship to me.
4 years ago Kate Winslet & Hugh Jackman were convinced by a friend to shoot their little part as a favour. You know the one, where Jackman has testicles on his neck, and pubes fall in his food, and a baby gets involved……yeah all gold so far. Anyway, with that scene shot, the makers of the film convinced other big names to get involved because if Winslet & Jackman can do it, why shouldn’t they? Here is the official line from Peter Farrelly:
Several tried to back out when they realised what their roles entailed, but by then were already contractually committed. They clearly wanted out, but we wouldn’t let them. Wait for them. Shoot them when they want to shoot. Guilt them to death.
Mixed in with that is Richard Gere admitting he regrets doing it, and only did it as his wife’s brother was one of the producers, or something along those lines. Sure, its a great cast (they have 14 Oscar nominations among them) but I cringed all the way through it.  Several of the famous names were paid just $800 (about £500) for two days work, with the lure of a share of any profits down the line. Haha, good luck with that!
Here are my Top 3 shitelights from the film. Each of these scenes deserves to win Shitfest on their own.
The already mentioned Hugh Jackman with testicles on his neck. He accidentally dips them in a bowl of soup and rests them on a baby’s head. They end up in Kate Winslet’s mouth.
jackman
Naomi Watts giving her son his first sexual experience.
naomi watts
Chris Pratt is about to propose to his girlfriend Anna Faris when she says she has something to ask him too: Will you poop on me?
 
faris
Fuck it, heres Chloe Moretz having a period in front of Mclovin:
chloe moretz
Eric and I disagree about a lot of movies, and thats part of the fun, but one thing we agree on is that we always try and find something redeeming in a movie. After all, they got a film made, which is more than most of us have ever and will ever do. So what was redeeming and not totally shit here? Erm……..Stephen Merchant was the best bit, and I’m biased as I’m a big fan of his. 
 
merchant
Knoxville & Stifler also, with Butler, didn’t totally die on their arses. Everyone else though, wow, I just cant believe what a catastrophe and embarrassment this film is. Comedy in films is subjective, of course, and we all like different things. However, aside from the odd Canadian, surely other sane people like y’all (Eric’s native tongue) cringed whilst watching this, so please remember my post when you submit your votes. Again, it will cost our host a fortune to ship the trophy to the UK, so even if you loved Movie 43, vote for Eric losing money. I love you all and rest my case.

52 comments

  1. I look at this as an especially raunchy SNL episode with a lot of hosts. Some of the skits – or at least some moments within them – were funny, and most were bland-to-horrible, but I don’t care what anyone says, Wolverine sporting chinsticles is gold. I should have left after that scene and would have felt I got my money’s worth.

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  2. I saw pieces of this while working when it was released. Nothing I saw made me want to watch the entire thing. It just seemed like a bunch of stars embarrassing themselves. Peter Farrelly (and his brother) are from my home town. I really want to see them succeed. But doing this to actors, and bragging about it, is the kind of thing that gets you unofficially blacklisted.

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  3. Oh wow… I haven’t seen this, but I kind of guessed it would be awful. But now that you’ve pulled back the veil and exposed it as nothing more than a composite of a bunch of beloved celebrities being forced into their scenes contractually, I can safely say I hate it even though I haven’t seen it.

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  4. Haha, excellent choice, Tyty! I have heard NOTHING but horrible things about this movie. I don’t think your post beats out my awesome video review but I think you did truly pick an amazing piece of shit for Shitfest! 😉

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  5. Pingback: The 3 Worst Films of 2013 | Oracle of Film

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