I have absolutely nothing against Zombie, his wife or the movies they all make together. Nothing at all. I may not love them (ex: HALLOWEEN 2 and THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO) but I respect what they’re doing, two hour music video or not. I’ve read a lot of positive words about this thing and have barely been able to wait to see it. It finally came out on VOD where I live so I even took a day off to give it a watch and, since we’re all about honesty our here, I have to say, most of this movie was absolutely fucking beautiful – in a Rob Zombie way. But let’s get to that in a little bit.
I’ve been a big fan of The Zombie since White Zombie came around back in the 90s and – yep – I even saw them in concert at a local club here where I live. BLAH BLAH BLAH fast forward a decade and Rob Z is making music videos featuring some lanky blond who he would go on to bang and marry. ETC ETC now he’s making movies and I’ve seen everything he’s done except for that TV show he did and, from what I’ve witnessed, his movies include:
- A bunch of comedy actors from the 80s being out of character and getting: 1) Violently murdered 2) Showing their tits 3) Screaming the word FUCK!!!! every two seconds 4) Getting skinned and / or scalped 5) Killing someone
- Bloody, bloody, bloody violent fast-paced gore with a bunch of people screaming the word FUCK!!!!!! every two second with blood everywhere on the set
- Zombie’s favorite songs peppering the soundtrack / score to what could easily be called a very, very violent music video montage complete with characters watching TV showing his favorite old B&W movies.
- And –
- A bunch of comedy actors from the 80s being out of character and getting: 1) Violently murdered 2) Showing their tits 3) Screaming the word FUCK!!!! every two seconds 4) Getting skinned and / or scalped 5) Killing someone
And it must be working because the fellow can get plenty of work. Personally, while I didn’t really care for HOUSE OF A 1000 CORPSES, I got some good jollies with THE DEVIL’S REJECTS and when I thought HALLOWEEN was not too bad I couldn’t really stand HALLOWEEN 2 but, I still stand by the option that he would be the perfect director for MY MOVIE. I think he could capture the appropriate grit, violence, sex and greasiness that I envision for that. Also with that written, I have a half written script I would love to get in his hands, *MOONY SAD PUPPY EYES*.
This movie is TOTALLY different. Well, wait, except for the last 15 or so minutes. The first 1:45 is BEAUTIFUL with some seriously awesome slow panning, left to right camera moves – brilliantly thought out and well planned drama with CREEPY AS FUCK dream imagery – slow, demure score – excellent, low-key acting – creepy, motherfucking, The Shining-esque, creepy-wallpaper-corridor shots and a seriously good story. The last fifteen-twenty minutes or so are very graphic ridden and strange featuring, a (I think) symbolism of The Holy Trinity beating off, which is what it is, but that could put people off. We’re talking real or prosthetic boners and schlurp schlurp schlurp schlurp sounds. YANK.
SO, yeah. I really loved most of this movie but the end put me off. Maybe if I watch it again it would be different but it felt cartoony and kind of pointless. There’s definitely some creepy shit in here and it might even scare you a little bit. It’s very dark and full of symbolism but thankfully, there’s not a shitload of FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCK dialogue and I actually really like Sherri Moon in this, glasses and all. I also really liked their take on the devil. WOAH. Also – Meg Foster should win something for what she did in here. Totally worth a re-watch…
Isaacs Picture Conclusions 
It is a strange movie, very different to his other work. I loved Devils Rejects and for me this wasnt in the same league, but still got to give the man credit for doing his own thing.
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I liked Devil’s Rejects too but this one really had me involved (until the very end)
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Come on, a boner expert such as yourself doesn’t know the difference between real and prosthetic?
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Well – it’s a very quick cl -wait. WHAT???
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Doesn’t IPC stand for Indistinguishable Prosthetic Cock?
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It didn’t use to but it does now!
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Think of the hits!
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We’ll go viral!
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I liked his remake of Halloween (that little kid was creepy as fuck!) but I strangely never got around to seeing the sequel.
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I wouldn’t bother, honestly : )
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Smash, I agree with Isaacs, here. No need to waste your time with Zombie’s Halloween sequel; it’s not a remake of the original Halloween sequel; it is it’s own film, and it is absolute garbage. I don’t have a single positive word to say about it. In Zombie’s defense the sequel turned out so poorly b/c he ran into budget issues and time restraints that caused him to rush it; so really it’s not the film he intended to make. And you can clearly tell while watching.
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The only semblance to the original sequel is a dream sequence at the beginning involving a hospital which totally ruins the movie from the outset. THE SHAPE SHOULDN’T MAKE NOISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I don’t normally go in for these type of movies but I’m hearing consistently decent things about this one. I just might take a peek sometime.
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It’s pretty good. I would (always) be interested in getting your thoughts. It’s nothing like his other work.
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If I ever do get around to it, I’ll be sure to let you know, man.
By the way, I’m lagging behind a bit on that double-take. I’ve made a start but still more work to do.
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No worries here – I haven’t even got it in the mail yet. I’ve seen it 100 times so I probably don’t need to re-watch it again but I am intrigued to look at it again based on that trivia segment you posted about last week : )
No rush!
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Cool bro! We’ll make it happen at some point.
Boat Drinks!
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Boat Drinks!
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Hey, I thought shitfest was over!? 🙂
I was looking forward to this one after seeing the trailer, but just a couple minutes into it I quickly learned this movie was a complete joke! Those witches were supposed to be scary? They were over-the-top and more annoying than menacing. I felt like I was watching a poorly-executed cartoon with bad voice actors.
Then after the lame witch scene, the story with Sherri is just predictable and follows a beat-sheet to the tee. Nothing out of the ordinary and goes exactly how you’d expect from a movie like this to go. I was so bored halfway through I fast forwarded to the ending, and as I suspected the finale was just as disappointing as the first half of the film had been.
I agree with you about Halloween and Halloween 2; the first one was pretty good, while the sequel was awful. I think Zombie ran into some budget issues and had time restraints in the sequel, which would explain how the final product turned out so bad. I didn’t like House of 1,000 Corpes or Devil’s Rejects, but I do think Zombie has good vision with horror, and one of these days is going to deliver something spectacular.
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We’ve been disagreeing on a lot of shit lately – maybe we should break up.
J/K of course but I thought this was pretty good (except for that strangeness towards the end that didn’t feel like it belonged whatsoever).
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As if you could ever find anyone better!!! 🙂
You’re right we’ve been disagreeing lately – I never would have watched “Jennifer’s Body” in the first place! lol.
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It was awful but I muscled through it for SHITFEST : )
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This looks absolutely bonkers and I like the twisted style of it. I keep meaning to check it out. Nice work dude.
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Thank you! Always look forward to your thoughts on things : )
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Not the biggest fan of Zombie’s flicks. But when you’re giving it Four Top Hats how can I resist! Terrific write-up! I can tell you really care about this film cause I sensed a hint of seriousness throughout the review ;).
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I really liked this thing quite a bit : )
I wish it hadn’t gone so sour at the end though : ( You should give it a shot – it’s nothing like his other stuff.
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Probably Zombie’s most ambitious to date, but yet, it still doesn’t seem to work. Scary in bits and pieces, but ultimately, very odd just for the sake of being odd. And that doesn’t make a movie scary, just lazy. Good review.
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Eh – I liked it but I have a thing for movies with old, creepy wallpaper – thanks for reading, good sir!
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the wallpaper looked like the rugs in The Shining… and like your logo background for the Boofs!
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Totally!!
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thank the devil, someone else that likes this film as much as I do!!! (I was going to say ‘thank God’ but that seemed inappropriate). Anyway, I have my review all written and will probably post it by the end of the week. I for one LOVED THE ENDING and will explain why in my review, lest I take up a whole lot of space here 🙂
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Sweet – I can’t wait to read it – maybe it will help me appreciate it more : )
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Awesome review man. Looking forward to checking this one out sometime soon.
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SWEET and THANK YOU!
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This movie was visually gorgeous, I just felt that the story fell a little flat. I am a huge Rob Zombie fan though! Lucky you, seeing them live and all that! Hmmmm, I think you have a point about your script belonging in his hands.
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As someone who’s read it – you honor me : ) Hey – look for an email from me in a little bit : )
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🙂 But of course! I am on it!
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Nice review! Have to admit I absolutely HATED his Halloween movie so I’ve avoided all other Rob Zombie since…
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This one really is different – imagine The Shining except with witches and not very much lighting…
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I don’t know, dude. Maybe I’ll give it a chance when it shows up on the movie channels in a year or two. And then if I hate it, I’ll remember you compared it to one of my favorite movies & I’ll come back here and tell you off. 😉
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LOL
I would only love it if we’re still talking in a year or two and you yell at me (again)!
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Isn’t this meant to a homage to Ken Russell? I’m sure I read that somewhere. Nice write up. I loved The Devil’s Rejects, and I’m always on board for a Rob Zombie movie. I think he’s a bit underrated.
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It could be.
I think you would like this – this is really good looking and not super obnoxious like some of his shtick. You should give it a go while you’re having some beer.
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Great review! And we seem to have such similar taste. If you’re ever in Tampa we should grab coffee and catch a horror movie. I really enjoyed this one right up until that last 20 minutes or so, when raw chicken midget satan comes strolIling out looking like an acid flashback. WTF, Rob!? But even with an ending I don’t really appreciate, it’s still a good time. His movies might be super violent music videos for the most part, but they’re almost always a damn good time.
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I agree 100% – this was rockin and rollin until the last part but it didn’t kill the thing for me. THANKS for coming around yesterday!! If I’m ever down there it’s a deal – but I don’t like coffee – I’m more of a beer guy : )
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