Isaacs Picture Conclusions

CURTAINS (1983) FOUR GRIZZLED WITCH MASKS

CURTAINS1

For all of us out here – our community that do movies and such – at least in North America / Canada, we’re familiar with the company Echo Bridge – they’re the folks who put out the movies you see in grocery store swivelly kiosks or giant buckets that have 15 horror movies for three dollars on one DVD. You know: “Midnight Horror!! 12 Depraved Movies!! You’ll Never Sleep Again!!!” for $1.99 USD. I don’t remember when I posted something about it, but one day, earlier this year, I bought one of these DVDs and it inspired me to run the first SHITFEST and those two contests have been WONDERFUL FUN!! Anyway, and nothing ever against Echo Bridge, but most of these movies they by the rights for and put out are… well…. crap. Which explains why they can get away with charging 2 bucks for ten movies (I guess)

CURTAINS2

When it comes to my place here, I actually don’t mind watching shitty movies and reporting back on them to you – that’s one of my things, I’ll watch these atrocities and get back to you so you don’t waste any of your precious money renting them. And I’ll be honest about them and probably do some run-on sentences on purpose to try and be fun. The other day I was out of decent things to watch so I returned to the SHITFEST pack and started a movie called CURTAINS and – wait for it – IT WAS ALL KINDS OF FUN!! What the fuck is it doing in this DVD set?? Why hadn’t I ever heard of this?? What a blast!! Who knew them hoser Canadians could make such good horror?? This was excellent.

CURTAINS3

Now, since I am all about honesty here, I have to say that the quality of the DVD was pitiful. The sound was all wonky and the lighting was so bad I couldn’t tell what was going on when people were in interior sets but overall this has got to be one of my top ten slashers. In general, I don’t care if people remake things, as long as it’s GOOD so I don’t know if I should call for a remake or what but, at least, someone should go HD it for us. I mean, I know the point of having the six girls there at the mansion for the auditions all looking alike made sense, but I had trouble telling them apart, the film was so blurry. Either way – if you haven’t seen this and are a fan of the genre – this was pretty awesome.

CURTAINS4

The premise involves a shithouse crazy director who wants to make a movie about an insane woman named Audra so, naturally, he has his wife institutionalized so she can train for the role and then he up and leaves her in there to get rid of her. Later he invites those beauties above to audition for the part – read: DO then in the hot tub (and such) but the wife shows back up and everyone starts getting……………….. MURDERED!!!!! By that thing in the mask in the first picture above!!! While this movie is a lot of fun in general, there are two scenes that really stand out for me. A slow motion *daylight!!* chase scene over a frozen lake that’s kind of captured below –

CURTAINS5

– and an extensive chase scene through a warehouse or barn filled with old movie props captured below this. There’s also a really cool bit where two people get shot and go tumbling out of a window but, in my copy, it was pretty blurry so it was hard to make out. In any case – this is a lot of fun and, if you haven’t seen or heard of it, hopefully this helps rectify that situation. Good stuff!

CURTAINS6

38 comments

  1. I’m glad you enjoyed this little slice of Canada! But damn, that is one fugly movie poster. I totally thought this was going to be about some creepy old dollmaker. What’s the deal with that doll?

    Like

    • theipc

      I am sure there is some sort of deep symbolism about lost childhood or innocence or some shit that’s lost on a guy like me but for some reason that doll mysteriously shows up every time someone’s gonna get killed. In the middle of the road… beside your bed… in a snow drift – you know – the usual….

      Like

      • theipc

        Nice!!

        I would like to go on record stating that, for years, when the wife asks me what I want for dinner, I reply with “I want someone over here carving roast beef for me.” and it’s never happened. Well, the other day we had the same conversation and she looked around on the internet and found a place where I could get just that – Luby’s Cafeteria. Was it delicious? No, it was a bland slab of meat for all of the 90 year old men in there. Did it make me happy? YES.

        Like

      • HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

        To clarify, this is what my typed laughter means in real life:

        Ha – You said something that has some humorous merit.

        Hahaha – I thoguht that was actually funny, and smiled.

        HAHAHA – I’m laughing out loud and people are staring.

        The more “ha” there is, the funnier I think it is. Lowercase “ha” can only extend to 5 total – hahahahaha – before it needs to graduate to capitalized “HA.” All-caps “HA” has no limits.

        That said, what you said is obviously absolutely hilarious to me.

        Like

  2. I think I remember seeing this years ago when it came out, and it was blurry then – thus the 10 for $2 price tag. But I heard that in HD you can really see the blur clearly, hahahahahaha – oops, I went over the limit 😦

    Like

  3. Excellent! This is one of those movies I’ve always wanted to see because I remember the cover SO well from the tiny crappy video store we briefly had in my little hick town. I LOVED renting shit like this! But never did get around to this one. Glad to hear it’s fun! 🙂

    Like

  4. is there a happy ending? At least one survivor? there’s this movie that I watched on Chiller… I thought there was at least one survivor… it turned out she was a ghost… bummer.

    Like

  5. davecrewe

    Man, I wish I could get 10 for $2 trashy horror film DVDs over here! There’s nothing like trudging through squalor to find the gems hiding in the muck.

    Like

  6. I love Curtains! That hag mask FTMFW dude. So glad you discovered this one. The hedgehogs and I give it at least two thumbs up (they’re still trying to figure out if they have thumbs, we’ll get back to you on that.)

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: