Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE BRAVE ONE (2007) FOUR TOP HATS

THEBRAVEONE1

HMMM – I don’t know if I am going to have a lot to say about this one… This is a really good movie that’s for sure. Jodie Foster is amazing and how can anyone not like Terrance Howard. This is a drama / thriller / revenge movie and there’s nothing really funny in it, which is usually the route I take with these things. Jodie Foster survives a mugging but her boyfriend doesn’t so she gets a gun and gets all vigilante up in there eventually taking them all down, extracting her revenge, leaving people lying in pools of their own blood. That doesn’t necessarily happen like that but I think you get the point and, like I said, this is really good but there’s not much left to say.

BRAVE5

So, what else can we talk about today? I wouldn’t feel right leaving with only having 134 words. HMMM. HMMMM…. HMMMMMMMMMMMMM…. How about this:

GRAVE2

I just watched this the other day and couldn’t decide if I was going to post something about it or not. *Spreads hands out* What the fuck is this shit? I watched the original when I was a kid and then again twenty years later and it’s pretty deplorable – it’s gross and loud and sloppy and makes you feel like you’re dirty. Kind of like 8MM. I watched the remake back when it came out and I actually didn’t think it was too bad, if you can get over the big rape scene. I thought it was well made and well shot and the girl getting the guys back was pretty creative. This one was just dumb and tried way too hard to be too shocking – it was totally reachy and gimmicky and just not very good.

I Spit On Your Grave 2, Set Photography - Day04

Like – did they REALLY have to have her drown this guy in a toilet bowl full of shit and have him coughing up poop??? Really?? Did they really have to have a guy piss on her?? “I’m thirsty!!” she pleads / “Here, have some piss” piss, piss, piss. That was just dumb. What else? Did they really have to go THAT FAR with the taser stick? Really? Come on, now. None of this was shocking it was just – almost – silly. Also – when the waifish victim finally starts getting her vengeance and she goes around screaming, it was almost comical: “HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWW MANYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???” Blogga please.

I Spit On Your Grave 2, Set Photography - Day13

In the big “money scene” that’s sure to be the talk of the town, she has this guy strapped to a table with his nuts explicitly in a vice. “FUCK YOU!!!” turn turn turn “FUCK YOU!!!” Turn turn turn until they fucking pop. Something else was stupid and bothered me about this. What was it? Oh yeah. So they rape her and drug her and stick her in a box and when she wakes up and escapes (no spoiler) she discovers she’s in Bulgaria.  So – the concept here is that these three brothers live in New York running a sham photography business so they can rape American chicks and take them back to Bulgaria so their father can rape them? HUH? Whatever.

Oh – and (spoiler) there’s a blond lady in this who happens to be the dad’s daughter who he raped for years and had two kids with. SHOCKING!!!

20 comments

  1. GaryLee828

    Dude, “The Brave One” was terrible! Such poor writing, and execution; paper-thin plot. Undeveloped characters. Cliche. Predictable. On-the-nose dialogue and action. It felt like a straight-to-DVD movie!!

    I agree with you about the I Spit on Your Grave remake. I thought it ended up being a lot better than I originally thought it would be. Pretty brutal finale. I would say this was much better than “The Brave One”.

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  2. Im currently writing a review for I Spit on your Grave 1 & 2. In summary, I though they were both brutal and fantastic, way better than the original. Wasnt a fan of The Brave One though Im sorry to say 😦

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  3. If it’s any consolation, Eric, I quite liked The Brave One. Kind of a female Death Wish. That is, the first Death Wish, not the one where Bronson is using rocket launchers and stuff. Although that is pretty amazing. 😀 It’s Death Wish 3, I think.

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    • theipc

      I don’t know what some of these yoyos (that I love) are going on about – this is a good movie – thanks for backing me up! *buys you a shot*

      Like

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