Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE CONJURING (2013) A TWO PART TAKE

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PART ONE:

So – I just watched this and spent some considerable time on Twitter talking with my friends about it (and ABSENTIA) and – I really loved it. I don’t want to get too long into this because I am going to have some beer and then I’ll get all talky and loose lips sink ships and there’ll be spoilers and whatnot so I’ll just go with this: I really enjoyed this movie and – AND – this has at least two scenes in it that kind of – scared me. Not scared me like I wanted to go hide in the coat closet and shut the door and curl up and cry for three days hugging a stuffed animal from my childhood – but it scared me like – that just gave me the fucking goose bumps and I loved it!! – I’m re-watching that! I know we will always differ in opinions but this is my opinion and I really liked this movie. I would probably give it a five because it made me so happy, but there’s a little iffy shit in there here and there but that’s only a distraction and not a condemnation. If you haven’t seen this, I would totally advise watching this in a dark room on a dark night – by yourself. Good shit!!

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PART TWO, BEER BUZZED AND RIDDLED WITH SPOILERS (please don’t read if you want to go in with no expectations):

The following is a (mostly) true story text message conversation:

ME: HAVE YOU SEEN THE CONJURING YET YOU FILTHY ANUS?

SCROTEY: NOPE

ME: IT MIGHT JUST MAKE YOU SHIT YOUR FUCKING PANTS

SCROTEY: SO I NEED TO TAKE A SHIT BEFORE I WATCH IT

ME: UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET DIAPER RASH. AGAIN

So there’s that and I’ve had some beers waiting for the wife to get back from another business trip. What can I say? I really, really liked this thing. I thought it was going to be good based on various blogs I read and trust but – this really made me happy. I liked the demure yet tense acting of Lili Taylor, the guy from Office Space whose name escapes me, Patrick Wilson and even Vera Farmiga who has never really done anything for me. She’s a clairvoyant and there’s this one scene where she “sees too much” (on a different case) and I really believed she was terrified.

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I thought everything was going just OK until there’s this scene where the youngest daughter, who has been asleep and getting her feet pulled by an invisible entity finally wakes up and sees something behind the open bedroom door. She wakes up her sister in the other bed and she’s all crying and blubbering “There’s someone behind the door!!!! And it’s staring right at us!!” and I really believed in that and it made my goose-bumply and then the door slams shut and I was all “OH JESUS…”

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I also really like it in movies when things / people going flying around supernaturally and this has some good scenes with that effect in them. BTW *cachink* I especially liked the one when the daughter is going careening around on the wooden floors and the cast is all trying to fall on her and stop it. The camera work was pretty impressive and I liked the way everything was *almost* from the POV of a character by a Video Recorder. I don’t know – this was good. I would totally watch it again and *YAY* good stuff. If it wasn’t for the schmaltzy last five or six minutes I would probably give this a five. It’s not perfect but it’s good clean fun with killer special effects, good acting, a reasonable story and – it scared me a little. Loved it. *cachink*!

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Oh, on a last note, I would never play favorites or question anyone I admire and trust, but a blog friend of mine thought INSIDIOUS was better than this – great!! – but I think this blows INSIDIOUS away. By a large margin.

48 comments

  1. This movie was AWESOME!!

    This was everything that people promised me Insidious would be but wasn’t. This was the only horror movie in YEARS to give me pause, and I loved it. I am so glad that you enjoyed it immensely, too!

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    • theipc

      I was totally surprised how much I liked it! Usually movie that come with a lot of pomp and circumstance turn me off – but this was all kinds of wicked awesome…!

      Like

  2. V

    I thought Insidious was scarier (excluding the last half hour) but really enjoyed The Conjuring. Especially that bedroom scene you mentioned, that was brilliant, it gave me chest pains.

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  3. Good review. Didn’t terrify the hell out of me like it may have done to some, however, I will admit that it is a bit scary and really well-done. Let’s hope that Wan can keep up the good pace.

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    • theipc

      I hope so too – I haven’t seen any but the first Fast and Furious so I doubt I’ll see his but hopefully he does something like this again…

      Like

  4. Haven’t watched it coz I always wait for the dvd release. I’m sure it’ll scare the heck out of me. ” Heck, I almost had a massive coronary when i saw my own image in the mirror one night. …. the scarier, the better.

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    • theipc

      I honestly rarely get scared in anything but this one had a couple of good scenes – I hope it scares the poop out of you!! In a good way…

      Like

  5. Totally agree the best scene was the one with the girls in the bedroom (as it is in a lot films I watch 😉 ). I enjoyed this but I thought it used a few too many tried and tested ideas and didn’t offer much new. Great performances though and it didn’t shit me up a couple of times which is the sign of a decent horror I guess.

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  6. I was wondering when you’d write about this movie. This was a great review! I haven’t seen it yet. If I do, I’ll watch it with my Raggedy Ann Doll right next to me on the sofa, hehe! 🙂 Movies like this are always amplified to make it so much scarier than in real life. I think that’s why I’m fearless when it comes to real haunted homes (I’ve lived in a very haunted home for six years) compared to movie horror films. They scare me more than the real ghosts I’ve encountered. Yesterday, when I went to see a client of mine with a coworker, my client’s dog suddenly got spooked like he saw something. The dog ran upstairs and then came back halfway down the stairs. The dog growled and growled at some unknown at the doorway where he was spooked. We couldn’t see anything, but the dog kept staring at it bearing his teeth with bristled fur all up his back. My client casually said it was probably her former father in law. Lol. Everytime I go see her, something happens, but we usually brush it off. Lol. But this time, her dog was freaking out.

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    • theipc

      GREAT STORY!!! I love it!!! I’ve always wanted to run into something like that but never have (that I know of)… I think – it’s my belief anyway – that the cats keep the house spirit free… thanks for reading!!

      Like

    • theipc

      LOL – yes sir…!

      Absentia was awesome! I LOVE that long, slow shot of her on those stairs… waiting… waiting…. waiting….

      I want to say that I have seen The Children but I don’t remember much about it – I imagine I was stoned when I watched it… +_+

      Like

  7. GaryLee828

    Dude, you forgot the opening sequence with that doll! That scene had my heart racing. So unnerving. That scene in itself would make an effective horror short.

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  8. Watched this last night. Good, but I don’t know, a lot of it was kind of standard haunted house stuff I thought. I’d say it’s better than Insidious just because it doesn’t completely unravel in the last 20 minutes like Insidious does, although I was expecting a scary twist at the end and it didn’t come. But this is based on a true story *cough*bullshit*cough* so I guess the schmaltzy ending is what they had to work with.

    Like

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