Isaacs Picture Conclusions

ATTACK OF THE 50FT CHEERLEADER (2012) BOOBS

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I am not 100% certain why this shows up in the Netflix streaming HORROR section but I’m glad it did – or else I might have missed it but let’s get one thing for certain cleared out before we proceed, this comedy does not exist to explain string theory, create a paradigm to solving class issues or make a statement about Geo-politics, this is about one thing and one thing only:

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There we go. A very fetching blond actress plays a nerdy scientist who wants to pledge her mom’s sorority. Of course she doesn’t make it because she has smudges on her face and can’t dance. Luckily she works at a science lab that developed a regenerative tissue substance so she takes it one night and wakes up the next morning with a perfect looking face and a huge rack. A rack that keeps growing (well, her whole body does) so fast that a pin on her shirt pops off, flies across the room and blinds her professor (John Landis).

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Now, since she’s a hottie and not a nottie, she pledges the sorority gets the attention of the boys and, in one of the greatest slow motion, skimpy outfit, cheerleading dance routines EVER filmed, makes the cheer squad. But this doesn’t solve all of her problems because she just keeps growing and growing and growing – and finding it hard to keep herself clothed. Jealous, her evil sorority house enemy character tries to seduce her lab partner to give her some of the “make yourself pretty” substance and, while struggling to keep it away from her, he actually stabs her in the boobs with two doses!!

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Soon, we have Treat Williams himself trying to steal her (the blond) to use as a weapon and the there’s a giant, topless fight on the local football field. Who wins? Who loses? Who cares?? I thought this movie was all sorts of fun – in the same way I liked BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP. This takes it self so non-seriously that it’s awesome. It’s pure camp and boobs and bad acting and boobs and Treat Williams and boobs. I mean – it’s not some excellent piece of art, it’s a movie about cheerleaders who have trouble keeping their tops on. It’s all sorts of fun if you’re into this type of thing.

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43 comments

  1. I’m all over this one. I love boobs. What’s going on in that last picture though? Is she cushioning the blow of a karate chop by using her cleavage? That’s some mad skillz, if true.

    Like

    • theipc

      We knew we would find a home for that one day. Optimism, hope and endurance are the three standards to perfection.

      Nick – thanks for hanging around last night : )

      Like

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