Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE OTHERS (2001) THREE TOP HATS

Here’s another short one for today – I watched this around a month ago and haven’t ever been able to put anything together for it because – to be honest – I really don’t care that much about it. Let’s just get this one out of the way for good.OTHERS1

Once upon a time there was this chick from Australia,

She came over to the states and showed off her genitalia,

This made her quite popular to those who like nudes,

Then she went off and married fucking Tom Cruise,

In 700 films, she showed style and grace,

The last thing I watched, she pissed on some kid’s face,

I’ll never know why I Netflixed The Others,

But I’ll never re-watch if I have my druthers,

Boring and thin and lame and too long,

We’ve all heard many others sing this same song,

Don’t even bother and see The Orphanage instead

So Guillermo Del Toro can fuck with your head.

OTHERS2

Well – enough of that nonsense. I was having some writer’s block with this one and attacked it with some rap music and now that we’ve have had a proper, albeit stupid, opening act, let’s get on with our day. The Others is a blatant rip-off of The Sixth Sense without any of the suspense or tension or dead people. Everything takes place in an old house where Kidman goes around opening and shutting doors and looking depressed. The first time I watched this, however many years ago, I figured out what was going on about thirty minutes into it and when the big payoff came, it left me disappointed and rolling my eyes. I have to admit that the movie LOOKS good and if there HADN’T been The Sixth Sense a couple of years earlier, this probably could have been something special but – nope.

#boringasfuck

OTHERS6

42 comments

    • theipc

      It was so boring I couldn’t even think of anything to write about it – HA!! The last thing I gave a 2 was MIRRORS because it was stupid. I didn’t like this much more but at least I didn’t think was balls out stupid…

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  1. Good review. While it had some moments that were scary and a bit tense, the overall ending just felt dry and too morbid for its own good. Also, pretty damn predictable too.

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  2. Nicole Kidman showed off her genitalia?!

    Aww. I kind of liked this. ๐Ÿ˜‰ But, yeah – I’d definitely go with The Orphanage instead!

    Nice limerick type poem rap thingy. I like. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  3. I liked The Others when I saw it in the theater, but I did figure out the ending before it happened. I think it has not aged well now that 75% of ghost movies have that ending. By the way, it was intended by the director to be a ripoff of The Innocents. But your poem, that was excellent.

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  4. I’m just going to say it outright: I don’t like Nicole Kidman. She is the most boring thing to have ever happened to Hollywood and movies. If her middle name was Blah I wouldn’t be surprised.

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  5. Tom

    “But Iโ€™ll never re-watch if I have my druthers/” — I’m calling BS on that line. . . you lose points for made-up words buddy!!! lol Unless it is a word, in which case. . . top honors should be bestowed upon you, good sir. this is brilliant.

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  6. I also felt that was more poetry than rap, or maybe closer to nursery rhyme…excluding the part about the naked genitalia – but rap wouldn’t even use such polite words and would actually say…. well never mind that. I actually like The Others, but I always like long and boring ghost stories.

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