*MASSIVE SPOILERS IN THIS POST*
Let’s go ahead and get this out of the way – this is a good fucking movie. All the way, Ray. Although, out of the three space movies I have seen this year, I would probably have to put this a very close third, behind the stunning GRAVITY and the wicked fun THE LAST DAYS ON MARS. But it’s close. The only thing that gets me about this is the end. For real, this is beautiful and well directed and I believed in the cast and the Sci-Fi aspect was fantastic and it was tense and tragic and believable and the found footage thing worked well, but the end…. the end… for real – STOP READING NOW BECAUSE I AM GOING TO SPOIL THE FUCK OUT OF THIS IN MY NEXT SENTENCE.
STOP! DON’T LOOK!
Here it comes –
This is your last chance –
* Turns off movie
* Reads some emails
* Reads Joseph’s review of this
* Goes outside for some fresh air
* Watches the short marketing lady go to her car for her jacket when it’s 30 degrees outside
* Listens to her explain why she forgot her fucking jacket
* Discusses the materials they are using to lay the track down around the new football field for the Catholic school behind work
* Looks at the dead wasp on the ground
* Heads in and gets a diet coke
* Peels and eats an orange
* Misspells orange four times
* Reads Tim’s review of the trailer
* Read’s FILMHIPSTER’S review (please come back Chris)
I consider myself to be one of the most laid back people around and I can usually write off shit that doesn’t sit well with me as *shrugs* and I REALLY did like this movie but… Under the eternally frozen surface of Jupiter’s moon Europa lives… an octopus? An octopus with a taste for humans? Ok. Sure. OK. An octopus, eh? OK. Right. But… you just told me everything has been frozen forever… and the water under the ice is the purest water in the universe. What does it eat? How does it live? If it pisses, the water wouldn’t be pure, right? What about its poop? Why did it eat the first human it ever saw? Is there only one?? Wouldn’t there be a pack?? Do they make babies?? An octopus, huh? Well… OK…
A private industry funds a trip to Jupiter and we see it all unfold and devolve non linearly through the ship’s cameras and a documentary style wrap around including the guy from BALLS OF FURY. Everything starts off great and people start getting edgy and someone flies off in to space, GRAVITY style. Eventually they make it to the moon Europa and the ice starts to shift – all unplanned like – and someone goes out on foot and never comes back. The liftoff from the moon fails and they all get presumably eaten by a giant black octopus.
I seem to be making this sound like I don’t like the thing but I really did, it’s just… an octopus? GRAVITY can’t be beat, in my book, and even though I had some problems with some of things going on in LAST DAYS i still think it finished up better than this. The octopus thing is a neat idea and it looks good but – there would have to be something else under there to sustain it’s life. And it doesn’t make any sense that it would immediately start eating everyone. I guess they never show it eating everyone – maybe it just drowns them and collects them, like dolls. I don’t know, the ending just didn’t sit well. It’s still highly recommended as a good movie.
For something more fun than an alien octopus, MME Zoe and I continue our take on the Harry Pooter series over at her site. If that’s not already your home page, you can get there very easily by: