Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE PERFECT HOST (2010) THREE TOP HATS

HOST2

I love independent movies – love em! No big budget asshole with dirty porn and cocaine money in his pockets running around like a dick telling people what to do and casting his girlfriend’s high-couture-toe-ring-maker’s son to fill some stupid role so he doesn’t have to blow him.

Movie Producer: My lady says your 600 dollar toe ring gave her The Clap!!!

Toe Ring Guy: I caught you fucking your gardener!! You’ll never work in this town again!!!

Movie Producer: I oughta have you killed!!!

Toe Ring Guy: YEAH RIGHT!!! Your connection with The Company has been shit since you fucked ___________’s mailman!!! I oughta have YOU killed!!!

Movie Producer (stammers) (rubs neck): I’ll blow you if you forget about that whole gardener thing….

Toe Ring Guy: I don’t go that way fella. Shit. I’ll tell you what. Put my son in that movie you’re making and we’ll call it even on the gardener.

Movie Producer: Which one?

Toe Ring Guy: The horra one. The one about the haunted house.

Movie Producer (eyes the bulge in Toe Ring Guy’s slacks): You got it, brother.

*The next day*

Movie Producer (cocaine hangover, eyes bloodshot): YOU (points to hardworking, honest, innocent, Midwest child actor who dreams of being a movie star), You’re fucking fired.

Movie Producer (to director): Here’s your new actor (Toe Ring Guy’s kid emerges from a stretch limousine).

Director: WHAT?? NO!! We’ve already shot three principle scenes with ____!!!

Movie Producer: You’re fucking fired too!! Eat my shit and I’ll see you in hell. Go shove a shrimp up your asshole, pussface.

Movie Producer (points to Second Assistant Makeup / Sound): YOU! Yeah you, Orange County!! You’re the new director. Let’s go, I ain’t got all goddamned day.

Good lordie – where did I just go?? Anyway – I love independent movies, especially when you run across something that wasn’t over marketed and shoved down your throat. Think AMBER LAKE or FROZEN. And, of course, there’s always going to be some misfires (which are too many to name here, see my category ONE TOP HAT if you felt like it) and then there’s this.

HOST3

I REALLY wanted to like this movie. I mean REALLY, REALLY. I saw the poster and it was Niles Crane in a psychological, trippy horror movie??? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT??? Then I watched the trailer and I was all “*runs hand through beard, grimaces* eeeehhhhhhh.. oh.. I don’t know….” and I almost rented it a dozen times before I forgot about it. I mean, in the trailer there’s a big musical number. I don’t need to see Niles doing a conga line in a horror movie. I just knew I would be disappointed.

HOST4

Then our man GARY came around recommending it and he had struck gold with THE HIDDEN FACE so I wearily rented this up and gave it a watch and – what can I say – I was totally *meh* about the whole thing, just like I suspected. I liked it OK, so I’m not gonna dog all over it and call it stupid, it was just not what I wanted. I didn’t really care for the crook and I thought it was cool what was going on in Nile’s head but – it was really just the Niles character, R Rated. He’s prissy and properly dressed and takes good care of his dinner and drinks wine and I really  expected Roz and Frasier to pop in at any second, And then there’s the big dance number. Oh – and he fucks an imaginary chick over his sink.

HOSTGIF

I don’t want to spoil this – in case you want to see it – and maybe you’ll love it – but there’s a big twist about 70 minutes into it that you won’t see coming, but it wasn’t very effective to me and I didn’t find it very believable. Oh well – better luck next time, I suppose. I want to report on most of the things I look at so, there you go.  This one could have used a little more salt.

34 comments

  1. Where the hell did you go with that, indeed lol. Yeah, not really sold on this one either, and your review didn’t help to encourage me ;). It’s safe to say I won’t be watching this anytime soon!

    Got a question for ya! With Oscar-buzz heavyweights such as Out of the Furnace, Her, Inside Llewyn Davis, The Wolf of Wall Street, and American Hustle releasing in the coming weeks, any chance you’ll be dropping some reviews of those?!?!

    Like

    • theipc

      That’s probably best!

      UM – if I were to make it to the movies for any of these it would be for American Hustle but I doubt I’ll get there. December is usually pretty busy in my household… you??

      Like

  2. Good review. Even with some of the WordPress positivity, I still feel pretty much identically to you about this one. So I haven’t run out to see this either.

    I don’t really see that changing, honestly.

    Like

    • GaryLee828

      Zoe, it’s actually good. Isaacs didn’t go into much detail about the plot, which is not a bad thing b/c too many blog entries I’ve read reveal too many plot details…

      But the basic premise without giving much away is that a criminal-on-the-run goes into a suburban neighborhood to evade the police and rob someone, so he can skip town; he stops at our protagonist’s home and pretends to be a friend of a friend; the seemingly affable resident seems like easy prey, but then the roles switch.

      I don’t agree with Isaacs that David Hyde-Pierce is just like his Niles character on “Fraiser”. I think David was excellent here and carried the movie. Notice Isaacs couldn’t say anything bad about the film; he just said he found it very “meh” and that was mostly due to the actor who played the criminal, who came across a bit lackluster. I agree with that. The guy just wasn’t interesting; however David Hyde Pierce makes up for it. He is excellent in his role and makes the movie intriguing. I think Isaacs had a problem separating Hyde from his character on “Frasier”, which ultimately soured his overall opinion. But notice Isaacs did rate it “3 Top Hats”. That’s b/c it is a good movie; Isaacs just couldn’t get past a couple issues that personally bothered him.

      And just to clarify, David Hyde Pierce wasn’t actually dancing in a conga line; he was actually dancing alone and imagining he had a crowd of friends at his house who were making up a conga line. He did this dance in front of the criminal as the guy was forced to watch and we learn Hyde’s character is certifiably insane; it’s quite hilarious and disturbing at the same time. This was why he was having sex with the imaginary chick. I was cracking up on that scene. lol. But it’s not just about Hyde’s insanity, but what he’s going to do to this low-bit criminal who tried to rob the wrong house.

      It’s a film worth watching; especially if you’re looking for something out of the ordinary. Although Isaacs wasn’t crazy about it, I think he appreciates that it dares to be different. Those are the films he and I are constantly searching for, which was why I strongly recommended it to him in the first place – and now am recommending to you. 🙂

      Like

  3. Victor De Leon

    saw this on netflix a ways back. man, what a snoozefest. but Pierce is always fun to watch. for some, not so much here though. I thought he did a capable job. overall a forgettable flick. good review!

    Like

  4. David Hyde Pierce was an absolute blast to watch. However, everything else was a bit boring. Especially the robber dude, whose name I can’t remember. Goes to show you how much I cared for this movie. Good review.

    Like

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