Isaacs Picture Conclusions

WHAT THE HELL??? THE REST OF THE HELLRAISER MOVIES

HELLRAISER 4: BLOODLINE 1996

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Pinhead goes to space and Adam Scott looks like a woman. This one wasn’t very good and it’s main focus was presenting us with how THE BOX was made and the lineage of the dude who made it. You’ll live if you give this one a pass.

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HELLRAISER 5: INFERNO 2000

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This one’s not too bad but you’ll have to deal with Craig Sheffer for an hour and a half. The Cenobites aren’t really in this one much, but that’s not a bad thing. Sheffer plays a dirty cop who’s trying to find some kid before some serial killer kills him. It’s not too bad but then again, Craig Sheffer.

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HELLRAISER 6: HELLSEEKER 2002

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Dean Winters, famous for showing his wang all over the place on HBO’s OZ, headlines this along with the return of Kirsty Cotton from the first two. He’s a shady something or other that wants to kill his wife (Cotton) for her insurance money. You can totally tell that this script was NOT a Hellraiser movie and they wrote the Cennobites in after they bought it.  Think Jacob’s ladder without all of the God stuff and you’re good to go.

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HELLRAISER 7: DEADER 2005

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This movie totally sucked but I got to see Kari Wurher’s boobs. This has something to do about some people turning themselves into fucking zombies. Something something something blah blah blah Kari Wurher’s boobs.

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HELLRAISER 8: HELLWORLD 2005

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This one was pretty sucky to me and had Henry Cavil in it really struggling with an American accent. Hellraiser has become a huge video game and some kids go to a Hellraiser themed party and all get murdered. Fun!

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HELLRAISER 9: REVELATIONS 2011

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Fucking terrible.

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If you missed the first three and wanted to check out my thoughts on them because you are a wonderful person, you can do just that HERE, HERE and HERE. This franchise, much like THE CHILDREN OF THE CORN franchise, petered out VERY early and should have gone tits up two decades ago. Some of these movies are just terrible. Thankfully, I never have to revisit them…

49 comments

  1. Lem

    Did they really release two of these in 2005?? The Wuhrer one and the Cavil ?? (Way too much of a good thing for one year). Gotta hand it to them though “Deader” is a great title!!

    Like

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