I don’t normally do two posts in one day – mainly because I am slow and lazy but also because I don’t want to bother anyone with my shit – but – being the OCD that I am – I don’t have anything ready for my OCD coveted 5:00 AM spot for the morning. I know – who cares, you fucker, right? – but I have this thing with order and strict adherence to the rules. It doesn’t open new bars of soap unless it’s Monday. Left sock on, right sock on, left shoe on, right shoe on, tie left shoe, tie right shoe. It’s order that keeps things neat and clean so the IPC doesn’t descend into fucking terrible chaos. Trust me, whether you like me or not, no one would like that shit. (Wow – re-reading that… that’s not going to change the mind of the person who thinks I’m a serial killer… : ( ) So – as I prepare for an evening full of good football bowl games and a commute to work in the morning in another snow filled, slippery drive, I thought I would celebrate an IPC New Year’s Eve and wish you all good fortune and good feelings and good karma and good mojo and good everything for the coming year. Also – be sure to eat your Black Eyed Peas.
Last night was spent first at Scrotey’s house for some good clean fun involving MRS THE IPC, Ranchie, Mert, Lil Randers and one of Mert’s co-workers. Oh, and eight puppies and the momma. Those things sure were fucking cute and cuddly. One of them peed on MRS THE IPC but that went over OK and she (the puppy) was christened Tinkler. The premise of the visit to Scrotey’s was to “have some drinks and play some games” – and, while we all certainly had some drinks (just one or two, promise), the attempts to play a game called Catchphrase were not that successful.
The game Catchphrase is a thing where you have this beeping fucking disc that gives you a word that you have to get your teammate(s) to guess before you hand it off to the opposing team. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP this fucking thing goes until you get someone to guess something like “sea salt croutons” or “dragonfly eggs” or “bumblebee wax”. BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPFUCKINGBEEP!!! If you’re competitive, this gets incredibly fucking stressful and, as the goddamn thing’s about to end and it’s beeping signaling the end of the round, if someone miraculously guesses “24 Karat” – you toss the disc in the air toward the opponent so they get stuck with the hot potato as it expires so you win the point.
It’s actually pretty fun, especially if you’ve “had some almonds” and I’ll never tell what that means but Canadian Maple Leaf this game can get silly and we never got quite organized enough to play the Game Proper. In any case, it was fun, but the winner of Biggest WTF of them all came when XXXXXXXX – who had not at all had some almonds – got the disc, looked at it FOREVER while the time ran down – BEEPBEEEPFUCKINGBEEPBEEP!!!!! – and all the boys team got was “It rhymes with 2”. Silence. Crickets. KKZZZAAAKKKK!!! Time expires. We lose. And the phrase we had to get was “Go For It”. “RHYMES WITH TWO??????” WTF XXXXXXXXXX? Either way good fun –
We finished the night and rang in the New Year at a party right down the street and eventually made it home where this tired old man finally got to sleep about 1:00…. five hours after his bedtime… but – in our annual fashion, me and MRS THE IPC went for our New Year’s Lunch and I had a Margarita (Raspberry, frozen) and my Blackened Chicken Fiesta Nachos (there you go SMASH). In any case, all of this was to say that I HEART you all and I genuinely and sincerely hope 2014 is good to you. And that I should be back with something about movies sometime tomorrow. And I’ll be hitting all of your blogs up nice and proper : )