I was lucky, finishing out some movie watching at the end of 2013, seeing some GOOD things despite my poor sucker choices I make when I watch a bunch of bad shit. I actually don’t mind watching something terrible – because I get to come out here and warn you about it and hopefully we have a good laugh or two. But – it is always nice to see something good that doesn’t make me want to smash my testicles with a brick screaming “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!” I actually haven’t tried that practice yet, out of consideration for MRS THE IPC – but I have thought about it. Luckily we have The SHITFEST outlet coming up so we can vent about these terrible things and not mutilate our genitals. In any case – OPEN GRAVE is damn good even if it is peppered with some dodgy voice acting from our man Sharlto Copley. I mean, I really like the guy but there’s some parts where they might have reigned him in a little. Oh well – highly recommended. If you’ve seen the trailer or read some much better reports than this and look forward to it – you won’t be disappointed, I believe.
I don’t want to spoil this so I’ll probably keep it short but I bet you figure it out early (I did) (and it didn’t ruin anything for me). So Copley wakes up in a disgusting pit full of dead bodies. He doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, but he’s got a gun. Before too long, someone drops him a rope and he climbs out of that fucking place and heads into a nearby house. Inside are four people squabbling and they have a big Chinese Standoff until everyone calms down. Turns out no one can remember anything about themselves or why they’re there and all of that good stuff. It’s very similar to that Greg Kinner movie UNKNOWN which I have seen but never bothered to write about. This is better than UNKNOWN because it’s got a lot of blood, it’s dark, it’s violent and it’s got a bunch of dead people tied up to trees.
I have a feeling that the first time you see the dead people tied up to trees you’re going to get an inkling of what’s happening here, but, if you don’t, don’t worry because they all start to get their memories back and the events leading up to the pit / house thing get revealed through flashbacks. There’s some pretty grisly stuff here and there and even a German but overall this is not disappointing at all. There’s a really cool scene involving a bunch of lumberjacks about 2/3rds through the movie.
I think that’s about it for this one. I have developed a very itchy sensation on the bottom of my right foot that I need to go handle. I don’t know what the cause is but I am currently eating some pineapple I bought at the new Hipster Grocery Store… Coincidence??? I’ll have to do some studying and get back to you. It’s totally delicious but if this is a side effect, I’ll have to figure something out. Oh yeah – in this movie is a lady named Erin Richards. I really liked her: