Isaacs Picture Conclusions



Wow – this came out in 2001??? SHIT time flies!! I’ve probably watched this five or six times – and I’ve always liked it. Now that I have this thing that I do out here – for the good or the bad of human kind – I watched it again to put something out here and… well…. we are who we are and we do what we do and we like what we like and to each their own and diversity makes things great and who am I to judge and my rule of life is that it’s probably just none of my business and on my tombstone I just want “ERIC ISAACS:Β HE TRIED” and I never want to be a bother to people and in the end….. β†’ this is a lot better if you’re high on the grass.


I really don’t have anything against anyone – I really don’t – but back when we were rocking our balls off at THE BLOGGERS CUT we had – because my co-author was a Canadian – we had long running jokes about the heinousness of Canadians. Eventually we drifted off to the Greek and the French – to spice things up – but I really don’t have anything against anyone. Except for people from New Jersey and Portland. Oh – and Mustang, OK. And Stillwater, OK. Oh – and be careful if you click on that link – those cartoons are very NSFW.


Anyways, the point of all of that was to open with this line: Those crazy French people!! What is this movie? A kung fu, monster, boob filled period piece set in the French Revolution? Strange! A wolf is going around killing everyone??? That guy with the blond hair is named Fronsac??? SACK??? I got your sack right here!! And what’s with the stiff acting from this guy?? It was so awkward and weird.


But – two words: Monica Bellucci. YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMYYYYY I could watch her in anything. Except IRREVERSIBLE again. Once is enough for that fucking thing.


So yeah. Filled with Frenchmen and badly dubbed, this thing has a lot of – wait –


Sorry. UM – has a lot of blood and slow / fast / slow mome-


Sorry – I got fucking distracted again. UM – horses and wolves and sick peopl-


I – uh – HUH? guns and swords and red heads an-


I was – were – I wanted to say som-


I think that’s gonna do it for me today – I’m going to have to go get some fresh air.


  1. It’s ages since I’ve seen this movie. None of it makes any sense. “A kung fu, monster, boob filled period piece set in the French Revolution?” just about sums it up. And when that sums up your movie, it’s time to get a psych evaluation!

    Still, Monica. And boobs. Wasn’t there a scene transition where it the picture fades from a scene of some rolling hills to the countours of Monica’s fun bags?

    BTW, I’ve just sent you another email about Shitfest 2014. Hope you’re okay with it. Let me know!!


  2. Victor De Leon

    I have a copy of this movie and I NEVER frakkin finished it. Ugh. Some movies (for me anyway) are destined to never be watched. I need to re-visit it soon. Good post, bro. Thanks!


  3. It was like an early 70’s Hammer film mixed with kung-fu films from the 70’s and 80’s only with way too many arty flairs thrown in. I like a lot of it, but there’s more here than there needed to be. They could have cut out about 35 minutes of fluff and overlong shots and it would have been a stronger film.


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