Isaacs Picture Conclusions

A LONELY PLACE TO DIE (2011) GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME

LONELY1

I think – think – that for today’s discussion we should start off with an inclusion from our good friend Wikipedia:

Pucker factor is a military slang phrase used to describe the level of stress and/or adrenaline response in a dangerous or crisis situation. The term refers to the tightening of the buttocks caused by extreme fear. If it is inadequate, the person making decisions may make them “like a robot” without considering ethics or the long-term consequences of his actions; conversely, if it is excessive, then the person “puckers”–panics and becomes unable to think clearly and effectively.

Pucker factor. Not only is that funny to say in my head but it’s also pretty funny to say out loud. Pucker. LOL. The reason I – well wait – let me go back in time.

About ten years ago I won an award at work for doing a good job and went to Hawaii. Fuck that’s a beautiful place!!! There, in Honolulu, we had a room at the hotel on the 30th fucking floor. In a true to life TV or movie moment, when we got up there, I opened the balcony doors and two doves flew in. For real. Prince could have been airing on the TV it was so cool. Anyway, as I shooed those fucking disease ridden birds out of our room, I made it onto the balcony and WOAH – WOAH WOAH WOAH – I about shit myself. I had never been afraid of heights in my life but – GOD DAMN I was then and have been ever since. It’s tough on me to watch movies where people almost fall off roofs and shit like that so – the opening sequence in this movie finds foxy Melissa George and some dude scaling a mountain, taking sweeping pictures and – of course – almost falling to their fucking deaths. PUCKER FACTOR 10 on this thing. I don’t think my B-Hole has ever been so clenched. Did I just mention my own asshole?? FUCK…. what have I become…?

LONELY2

So, yeah. George and her sexy self and a couple of dudes do some rock climbing and then hang around with another dude and a black haired chick and they go hiking and come across a girl buried in a box in the Scottish hills. They pull her out of there and decide to go for help when the people that put here in there start hunting them down.

LONELY3

I actually really liked this movie. One of my friends on Twitter thought that it ended shitty but it didn’t really bother me. There’s a part where a guy goes falling off of a cliff that I thought was pretty bad-ass and Melissa George is awful hot. This is pretty much your standard Hunting Humans movie with some sphincter clenching visuals that will probably also have you grinding your teeth but it’s nothing super special. I can find worse ways to spend an hour and a half. like THIS. or THIS. But I’ll take George any day.

LONELY4

And, since we want everyone to be happy here at THE IPC, here’s a shot of a hunky fireman for the ladies. Don’t all ladies enjoy hunky firemen? And people from Portland? I mean people from Portland enjoy hunky firemen? Porky firemen?

LONELY5

What the fuck’s going on here today?? Last week, on Twitter, I reported that there was a natural gas breach in a construction site behind where I work and that we were in danger of being blown to smithereens and my friends favorited it….! Yesterday, someone going by the handle “Hateu” came out here on my INSIDIOUS 2 post and called me a “cunt nugget”. What’s going on here? Are you guys trying to tell me something?

*sighs

*moans

*puckers

Tune in tomorrow for something fun!

46 comments

  2. GaryLee828

    Loved this movie! Was intense from open to end without much breathing room. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with the ending; it made sense to me. I mean it didn’t blow me away or anything, but it wasn’t bad. This movie was well done. Melissa George takes quality work. She’d probably be a bigger star if she went mainstream and did some crappy rom-com’s. She was really good on HBO drama “In Treatment” and on another indie horror “Triangle”.

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  9. Smash

    What up, cunt nugget! That could be your new handle here on the interwebs, lol. When you get up really high, do you find yourself experiencing an overwhelming compulsion to fling your self off whatever it is you’re standing on? I get that. And therefore I stay away from high places.

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    • theipc

      The end didn’t bother me too much. I also don’t get “puckered” very often so this movie and I had a Moment together.

      I know? Cunt Nugget? He (or she I guess) also added “Stuck with blogging cunt nugget”. Isn’t that what I was doing?

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  16. Zoë

    God damn Eric that was some rude CHOP making their way over here! And “stuck with blogging”? Really?

    Back to the review, great, will look into this, too (every now and then you give us something we can look into :P)

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