Isaacs Picture Conclusions



*No one was drunk during the making of this post*

WHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT??? FUCK YES!!! This movie rocked my lame ass!! It’s fucking brutal!! It’s hot chicks in Tee-Shirts and sweats beating the shit out of each other!! It’s bloody as fuck!! Zoe Bell!! Rachel Nichols!! Practical blood and gore effects!! Wicked ass score!! I loved this pretty much from start to finish! Will you like it?? A lot of people I read and love go on about 12 Years a Slave and Mud and things that I will probably never see as long as I live – The Butler – THIS is MY type of movie, right here. Is there too much dialogue?? No. PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH KICK SCRAPE PUNCH KICK EYE GOUGE!! Do we have to deal with a bunch of pretentious bullshit?? NOPE!!! KICK KICK KICK ELBOW ELBOW BITE BITE GUT-PUNCH GUT-PUNCH!! Do we have to deal with melodrama and horsecrap??? NO!!!! KICK KICK PUNCH PUNCH BITE BITE STRANGLE STRANGLE HEAD-SLAM HEAD-SLAM PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH!! This is balls out awesome and totally my kind of movie. I wish I had been involved with the production of it. Good God guys, if you make a sequel – give me a call, please. I’m very, very cheap and I don’t bite. I’ll also comb my hair and take a bath. But I won’t put out… I’m married. I only put out to MRS IPC.


I mean everything is a green-light-go here. Hot chicks in tight shirts fighting to a bloody death? CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK. Let’s repeat: Hot chicks in tight shirts fighting to a bloody death? CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK. The plot? Hot chicks in tight shirts fighting to a bloody death. CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK. I know it’s early – the night i am writing this and drinking beer is 01-15 but, so far, this is my favorite movie I’ve watched (twice) in 2014. I really liked PRISONERS but it was all serious and grim and Atticus Finch-y solemn (and it was really good) but this one really rings my Bell – lol – Zoe Bell = YUM.

*NOTE – BIG BAD WOLVES now bears the distinction (if you could call it that) of favorite movie of the year so far


So YUM YUM Rachel Nichols goes on a date, takes a bath, gets tazed and wakes up in a dark room somewhere we know is just goddamn bad. The door opens and she wanders out into the hall. Soon , she comes across Bell and they head into this room and beat the fuck out of each other until one of them is deader than fuck. CHOP CHOP PUNCH SLAM KICK GOUGE KICK CHOP PUNCH. It’s brutal and bloody and beautiful. SMOOCH this movie.


The plot? Doug Jones and what’s left of Sherilyn Fenn are running a contest to see who will be the next Amazonian God-Queen or somethingorotherwhogivesafuck. This is movie is about a bunch of hot chicks fighting. End of message.


On a more sober note – ARE YOU READY FOR MONDAY???  SHITFEST FOREVER!!! Here’s another teaser:



  1. GaryLee828

    Shitfest starts early!! THIS MOVIE SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The rink leader was absolutely terrible – the acting was bad – the plot was paper thin (as you stated) and everything felt totally unrealistic.

    “Big Bad Wolves” had a plot and quality acting. There’s no comparison here.

    SPOILERS BELOW (do not read if you want to see this!)

    So…how about at the end when she woke up from the table and slashed the throats out of the two morgue workers; but then once breaking into the rink leaders office she merely attempts to knock them down and rescue the girl, turning her back on the rink leader!!!


    Why not kill the rink leader and his wife and THEN untie the girl!? If you were against murder then why brutally murder the morgue workers and then not do the same to the ones who actually run the show and control everything? LOL.

    Any chance this may have had at redeeming itself was totally lost in that moment of sheer stupidity; but hey, at least it’s consistent. It sucked from start to finish!! lol.


    • theipc

      You know, Gary – I would hate to argue with a friend / reader / contributer but – WTF? This movie doesn’t suck…?? Surely you watched the trailer before you rented it, right? This is a movie about chicks fighting each other. It’s brutal and bloody and all kinds of fun. What were you expecting after you watched the trailer for the “girl fight” movie?

      This comment kind of pisses me off – are you one of those people that felt let down after you saw Gravity and were disappointed in the DIALOGUE? I mean, who went to see the big space disaster movie and felt let down by the DIALOGUE?? Come on.

      I don’t know what you were looking for in the Girl Fight movie but this is all kinds of awesome. Lighten up!


      • GaryLee828

        I am lightened up; you’re the one riled up. 🙂

        I actually didn’t watch the trailer; my agent brought this to my attention like 3 years ago when it was in development b/c it has a semi-similar premise as my script we’re trying to sell…

        But regardless, yes Rachel Nichols isn’t an Oscar caliber actress, fair enough, but she’s a decent actress – and so I had the expectations the acting would be at least decent…and the lead actress isn’t too bad…but the rink leader, who is the main antagonist was absolutely horrible! He was not interesting; he was not intimidating – and his entire demeanor was all wrong for this role. His acting was bad and his dialogue was on-the-nose. I can’t stand watching thrillers with a weak villain; this is why I dedicated a page on my blog to strong villains b/c I like to keep track of memorable villains…

        Yes, you’re right that it was a lot of fighting, etc. but you can have a lot of fighting in a movie and still have a plot and decent acting. And as I pointed out, what the protagonist did at the end was just soooo stupid – which is a sign of bad writing. Bad writing = bad movie.

        I’m not sure why you’re pissed off; a large fraction of your posts poke fun at movies you think suck. I am doing the same.


  2. You don’t bite? But you were so hard selling the bite-bite bit!!

    Damn straight Prisoners was excellent but it was heavy!

    “…one of them is deader than fuck.” I love this.



  3. Haha! Lots of enthusiasm for this one Amigo. You’ve almost convinced me to give shitheap a go 😉

    It’s that you in the Shitfest poster? Anyone ever told you you look a but like The Hoff?

    Boat Drinks!


  4. Cultured & shit. I prefer Mud. ; ) As I think I said when you were drooling over this on Twitter, this movie is so YOU. : p And my review today is of a sweet little teen comedy. How are we BFFs?!? Lol


    • theipc

      This movie is TOTALLY me : ) It was like these people made it for me : )

      I saw your post – I’ll head over there very shortly and Proby your teen movie… : )


  5. Saw it last week, very brutal but pretty well done. Think its funny they advertise Rachel Nichols so much considering how long she is in the film haha 😀

    As for Shitfest I will try my best to get the review to you, but I may have to finish it for the next one 😦


    • theipc


      I would like to thank The Academy, my mother – The Creator, this bowl of noodles and the pilot for The Brady Bunch airing on TV in the other room.

      THANK YOU. Thank you.

      *music starts


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