BY:
Shitfest Winter 2014 – Would You Rather?
We all love this game, right? Ya know, the one where you ask ‘would you rather do X or have hands shaped like Y?’ That kind of thing. It starts off relatively tame but get a few drinks down you and it becomes a depraved mess.
You might think that applying that idea to a film would be stretching the concept a little, and you’d be right. Very right.
In Would You Rather?, we follow Iris (Brittany Snow) as she struggles to pay for her brother’s leukemia treatment. She is introduced to a rich philanthropist who offers to find her brother a bone marrow donor and pay for the treatment on the proviso that Iris compete in and win a game he has devised.
Guess what the game is? Yep!
So Iris rocks up to some mansion where she meets a bunch of other people who are also going to take part in the game, and then things get underway. Exciting!
First of all, the dude in charge offers Iris, a vegetarian, 10 grand to eat meat and some other bloke who’s a recovering alcoholic 50 grand to quaff some wine. Not really how the game works, but surely it’ll get more interesting…
Next up the participants but on headbands wired to give electric shocks, and they must choose between electrocuting themselves or one of the others. Now this is fine and a reasonably good premise, but we then have to sit and watch as it goes round pretty much every single person in the room, which gets very boring, very quickly.
Next up is whip someone or stab someone in the leg. Snore. Although the bloke who chooses to stab a disabled old lady in the leg because she won’t be able to feel it is a little amusing; less so when she pops her clogs a couple of scenes later.
The most interesting part is when the remaining players must choose between having their head dunked in a barrel of water for 2 minutes or take a chance with a mystery task. Iris chooses the water and, of course, survives despite her probably only being under for about 45 seconds, whilst some other woman’s mystery task involves being dunked under water for 4 minutes. She snuffs it after about 30 seconds. Super Iris!
I think this article has become as dull as the film, so let’s liven things up with our own game of ‘Would You Rather?’ with questions that really test the ol’ grey matter. Let’s begin…
- Would you rather have no elbows or hooves for feet?
- Would you rather have a paralysing fear of leaves or only be able to wear belts?
- Would you rather have sex with a goat and no-one find out or not have sex with a goat but everyone thinks that you did?
- Would you rather forward roll everywhere you go or between every other sentence shout ‘It’s a cookbook!’?
- Would you rather only be able to watch Michael Bay films or have your first born children cast into the Grand Canyon?
- Would you rather watch your parents have sex every day for the rest of your life or join in once to make it stop?
Hope you enjoyed that!
So yeah, it’s a ridiculous film. We also have D’Angelo Barksdale from The Wire turning up for the most useless role in film history and an ending you see coming an absolute mile off just to add insult to injury.
So save yourself some time; just get leathered and play the proper game with your mates.
***
From the host: I thought of this a little late but if anyone knows where today’s header comes from I would be willing to send you a little surprise…
I would rather not watch this film – thanks for the tip!
LikeLike
Yes, that is the proper response. 🙂
LikeLike
SHITFEST proves to be a successful resource yet again!!
LikeLike
Haha. I just watched this too. I didn’t think it was the worst ever, but also knew I was being too kind because it is a small film.
Also, I need to know how cute the goat is.
LikeLike
With out without whiskers?
LikeLike
I… I don’t know. I will have to do some research…
LikeLike
Those questions are not easy to answer. Well done!
LikeLike
Hilarious aren’t they??
LikeLike
HA! Brilliant, Chris. Would you rather watch this film again or…or…um…not? I’ve never been very good at this game.
Also, Eric: “Probably not even any boobs.” LOL. Sounds like that would’ve livened things up a bit!
LikeLike
It sounds SOOOOOO depressing and boobless.
LikeLike
Hooves, leaves, not have sex with a goat, it’s a cookbook, toss those damn kids in the canyon…with Michael Bay not far behind, and I’m not touching the last one ;).
LikeLike
are you suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure about that third one, Joseph??
LikeLike
I feel that there is no right answer to this question. I think I’d just rather not fuck a goat…
LikeLike
Sound decision making : )
LikeLike
Would you rather have sex with a goat and no-one find out or not have sex with a goat but everyone thinks that you did?
Both
LikeLike
DITTO
LikeLike
I’m not sure if you’ve seen it or not, but I’m certain that ‘Cheap Thrills’ is a better version of ‘Would You Rather?’
LikeLike
I haven’t even heard of it – any good?
LikeLike
It’s actually a pretty great film, look it up if you’re interested!
LikeLike
Would I Rather, what? Gouge my eyes out???
LikeLike
LOL!!
LikeLike
Haha! I would rather avoid watching this film.
LikeLike
That sounds like a good fucking decision!
LikeLike
Is that header from a horror flick? I need a clue! I was gonna say Pieces or something along those lines. Then again, I may be way off…
LikeLike
It is!!! And it’s “seasonal”….
LikeLike
Um… Black Christmas?
LikeLike
NOPE!!
LikeLike
Crap. I’m bombing out here. April Fool’s Day?
LikeLike
silent night deadly night? I’m determined to get this sucker, now!
LikeLike
SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT!! He’s the crazy old grandpa that scares the shit out of the little kid who goes on to kill everyone!!
I understand that it’s weird and scary to think of sending your address to some stranger on the internet – but if you want one of the prizes, send me a mailing address to ei@theipc.me : )
LikeLike
Yes! I recall the old dude, now. Haha! Yeah, he was hilarious. And totally off his rocker. Then the kid starts his killing spree years later. Crazy flick.
About the prize, there’s no need to send me anything, man. I appreciate it though. I will shoot you a message, though, when I get the chance. Thanks!
LikeLike
Hahaha! Chris, I think I’d rather watch this movie than play the game with you, judging by the questions you’ve come up with. ; ) Nice review! I shall never watch this…
LikeLike
Thanks! Yeah some of those questions were pretty evil 🙂
LikeLike
Didn’t know you had that in you! ; ) I might expect that from Eric… : )
LikeLike
It’s Eric’s influence rubbing off on me! Eric’s always rubbing off on me…
There’s lots about me that remains an enigma! 😉
LikeLike
EXCUSE ME???
LikeLike
I would have used the budget of this movie to make a film about spin the bottle with various semi-nude ladies. If you are going to base your film off a drinking game, do it right!
LikeLike
AMEN!!
LikeLike
Okay! So here goes:
Hooves for feet.
Paralysing fear of leaves.
No goat sex, everything thinks i did.
“It’s a cookbook!”
I hear the Grand Canyon is nice on Tuesdays.
Ugh, i regret this now.
Great, fun post!
Adam.
P.S. I do not condone any kind of child harming. I especially do not condone the worst kind of child harming, making them watch a Michael Bay film.
LikeLike
There is no worse torture than watching a Michael Bay movie. NOTHING.
LikeLike
I dunno…still seems better than that one film I watched that featured the only game of strip Ouija I’ve ever seen…still I think I’d rather not watch!
LikeLike
Strip OUIJA??????
………………….I’m listening….
LikeLike
I have no words…it was one of the strangest things…
LikeLike
HA!!
LikeLike
I actually watched this around Halloween and couldn’t wait for it to end, also got really pissed at the ending!
LikeLike
Pissed as in mad or pissed as in – you’d had too many Tequila shots to absorb the pain?
LikeLike
Cheers for having me mate, always a pleasure! Hope I’ve scared a few people with those questions 🙂
LikeLike
I would hate to do this without you!!!
LikeLike
BWAHAHAHA! This sounds like an absolute snoozefest, not going to be watching that anytime soon!
LikeLike
GOOD CALL!!!
LikeLike
I think “get leathered” might mean something different there…
LikeLike
I think over here we say “get pleathered”….
LikeLike
This is so awesome! I will not watch this movie, nor will I engage in a game of Would You Rather with you, Chris. I would not be able to compete against your dark and twisted mind, lol.
LikeLike
Thanks Smash! Few walk away from a game of Would You Rather with me with their dignity in tact 🙂
LikeLike
I didn’t think this film was that bad……..certainly better than REC 3 😉 (guess who’s back!!)
LikeLike
MY BITCH!!!!
THE BITCH IS BACK!!!!
I HIGHLY doubt this and might watch Would You Rather just to yell at you.
You back for good or just mingling?
#cuddles
LikeLike
Back for good I hope. Less posting probably, but more for your money. Quality not quantity. Mainly just to abuse you and shoot the shit 🙂
LikeLike
Sounds good to me, my lady.
LikeLike
Hey Ty!
LikeLike
I would never think Would You Rather could end up in Shitfest, there’s tons more that are worse. I watched this during Halloween and although it wasn’t scary or anything and its predictable as hell its alright. But thats probably because I have a girl crush on Brittany Snow and I had just watched Dollhouse and liked the dude in this. And if anything was predictable, it was the so obvious bad ending because these movies tend to do that to give it a twist…but yeah, its not horrible, just average….
LikeLike