BY:
100 Degrees Below Zero (2013)
Director: R.D. Braunstein
Cast: Jeff Fahey, Sara Malakul Lane, Marc Ewins, John Rhys-Davies, Ivan Kamaras, Judit Fekete
Triggered by a volcanic eruption in Iceland, a chain reaction happens and a bunch of volcanoes erupt also. This is earlier than planned according to a Dr. Goldschein and he has to make new calculations as to how fast this will progress and to what degree. It turns out the eruptions have caused a huge ash cloud which will not only plunge Europe into darkness but also cause the world to freeze over and enter into a new ice age. Its in Paris, brother Ryan and sister Taryn need to find shelter as their father Steve (ex-military) and his new wife, Lacey make their way across from London to pull them out before its too late.
So..answer me this? Did that sound interesting? Either way, Netflix gave this a 2.1 stars recommendation which was the lowest I could find with material that sounded remotely interesting. Let me elaborate a bit, ok? When you see Asylum show up on the screen, its never anything fantastic, but sometimes, MOST times, we actually get those “so bad its good” and what I get is a good laugh out of it. I mean, I get to laugh at whats going on. You know, I consider those masterpieces because its just bad but oh so fun. Flash back to my 2 Headed Shark Attack for last time’s entry. That was bad but at least, I got a good laugh out of the stupidity and I got to roll my eyes a lot.
Now, 100 Degrees Below Zero is NOT in that league. I sat here bored OUT OF MY MIND! Like, I mean, so bored, I was so tempted to open my book and just listen to the movie as it played. This movie is an hour and 28 minutes and aside from the expected horrible low budget typical b-horror effects and the stupid dialogue, I wanted to punch the brother and sister in the face and then I mean, there were characters that were introduced and then vanished. I guess, they had to leave to escape the deep freeze from the only means of transport possible, out to Australia where its all hot and comfy to be.
I think I rolled my eyes once and I mean, literally nothing happened aside from the obvious in a catastrophe, people wanting money (because it would be so useful in a deserted place thats about to freeze over) and people stealing bikes and coats (because obviously there would be some use with everyone trying to escape Europe). And goodness, the buildings are collapsing because of all the earthquakes and pipes bursting from the temperature drop but nope, apparently, its a good idea to hide indoors before the parents get here. Ryan and Taryn, why are you so stupid? Taryn apparrently is a fashion school student who practices kicking mutant gigantic hail balls in her spare time and likes to wear short sleeves when everyone else is wearing sweaters (well, except for the other French girl) and Ryan is a medical student with no balance and makes stupid decisions. A great brother-sister duo right there…
Which begs the question(s): Who green-lights these movies?
And I have three more of these types of world catastrophic, apocalypse-y disaster flicks in my Netflix and I’m seriously wondering if I want to even give them a shot.
Oh, and that poster up there? False advertising. No one actually freezes over, even if I wish they did, *ahem* I’m looking at you Taryn. At least that would given the movie something. At least, someone does get stabbed by a gigantic icicle.
sounds real shitty. Nice post TD!
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This sounds pretty, prettyyyyyyyyyyy crappy!
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Thanks! Its absolute crap…so horrible that I still remember it *shivers*
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If she’s so cold, why doesn’t she put a jumper on?! School boy error right there!
Nice write up Kim! 🙂
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HA!!!! here – have a sweater, lady. You’re welcome.
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Thanks! See? Exactly my point! Stupid…
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Reblogged this on Tranquil Dreams and commented:
Check out my Shitfest 2014: Winter entry over at Isaacs Picture Conclusions hosted by Eric 🙂 I love doing these a lot even though it puts me through some miserable movies. Have fun and remember to check out the other entries! They’ve all been fantastic and awesome! 🙂
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Sounds fittingly crappy to be included in Shitfest! Well done.
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Thanks JJAMES!!
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Thanks! 🙂
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Nice review, Kim! I’m glad someone at least got stabbed by a gigantic icicle. : ) This sounds like my Shitfest movie – it was just BORING. Not fun boring. Just… Blah. : ( I like that Dean Winchester picture btw, Eric. I didn’t like a couple of your recent girls! Don’t know who they were but they were all skin & bones. Today’s is much nicer. ; )
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Today’s thumbnail makes me want to run away and hide. I mean, really??? It might as well just be a big dong in my face.
and BTW – you know I watched Sherlock last night – I don’t get it – Cumberbatch is WEIRD looking…….
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I can kind of see the appeal as there’s this sexy personality thing going on. And women aren’t like men – we don’t ONLY go by looks. ; ) But he doesn’t do it for me – I’ll take Mr Ackles instead. Especially with no shirt. Because I’m shallow. : p
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Nice…
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Thanks! This was absolutely Snoozefest…I never knew it could happen for apocalypse movies or whatever you call this. You know and its funny, apparently Paris only sells fur coats…its really weird. I mean, if I was in a T-shirt I would’ve went into any store and grabbed a sweater, no?
Eric’s awesome factor just went up exponentially. I pretty much told him to choose and he got me this one! 🙂
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Eric has good taste in men! ; )
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*puts finger to lips
*explodes them outwards
OOO LA LA!!!
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I lile “catastrophic” movies, and i thought the storyline sounded very interesting…… until I got to that part where the girl ” is wearing short sleeved shirt ! ” WTF ! ! ! !
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
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We should change the title of Shitfest to “Movies Joseph Will Never Watch-Fest!”
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LOL!!!
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Most movies that have a cover that has nothing to do with the film are terrible. Eg: is there actually a notebook in the Notebook?
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False advertising really pisses me off especially in these sorts of flicks. 😉 C’mon, just one person freezing over, let me feel the urgency of the situation 😛
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If i want to see someone get stabbed with an icicle i’ll watch Die Hard 2 again
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You do that!!
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Very good point Mikey 🙂 You’ll get so much more enjoyment out of it.
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ahh yes, an inability to balance. These are the mystifying traits that really get me invested in a character.
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HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
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Sounds completely dreadful, Kim. Well done. I hope you don’t have to suffer like this again. Also, did you choose that feature pic or did Eric? Because YUM. 😉
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LOL – I might have had to reach out for some help : )
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Hey, no judgment here if you found that all on your own, though I know you typically go for different dudes… #foreshadowing
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LOL!!!!
#probilicious
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Haha! Eric has awesome taste, right? 😉 Love it!
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Cold as hell? What? Looks like one of those weird TV movies on a channel that nobody watches 😀
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LOL!!
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Left you cold, eh? 🙂
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NICE!!
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Haha, I totally almost watched this the other day and decided to pass it over. 😉
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Sounds like you made the right call!
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Yeah, don’t!! The horribleness of this is engraved in my brain right now…
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Hi Kim:) I knew when I saw ‘The Asylum Presents’ it was not going to be good.
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LOL – nothing good has ever come from The Asylum. Permanent SHITFESTers.
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I think you’re being a little hard on Taryn.
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Are you sure YOU’RE not hard on Taryn??
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Wow, looks freaking awful!
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I know… poor Kim….
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This was sooooo Bad, soooooo sooooooo baaaaaad.
I think it was at the point where she kicked a 5 kilo hailstone like it was a ping pong ball. Enough right there.
Poor acting,disgraceful dialogue and all in a movie with a plot that’s been done a hundred times before.
I actually did laugh…. For the 1st 10 minutes, to which the next 10 i forced myself to. The following 5 i wanted to smash my brand new 60″ 3d samsung tv to pieces and go on a murder spree to cheer myself back up!
This waste of 7.5 gb has now been deleted from my errrrr hard drive.
On the subject of waste.I’m also thinking of a way to claim back the 23 minutes of my life i wasted watching this!!!
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LOL Pete – I didn’t actually see but it sounds TERRIBLE! Thanks for reading!
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That girl in the last photograph does look a bit chilly. She’s obviously a method actor.
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Classically trained!!!
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