100 Degrees Below Zero (2013)
Director: R.D. Braunstein
Cast: Jeff Fahey, Sara Malakul Lane, Marc Ewins, John Rhys-Davies, Ivan Kamaras, Judit Fekete
Triggered by a volcanic eruption in Iceland, a chain reaction happens and a bunch of volcanoes erupt also. This is earlier than planned according to a Dr. Goldschein and he has to make new calculations as to how fast this will progress and to what degree. It turns out the eruptions have caused a huge ash cloud which will not only plunge Europe into darkness but also cause the world to freeze over and enter into a new ice age. Its in Paris, brother Ryan and sister Taryn need to find shelter as their father Steve (ex-military) and his new wife, Lacey make their way across from London to pull them out before its too late.
So..answer me this? Did that sound interesting? Either way, Netflix gave this a 2.1 stars recommendation which was the lowest I could find with material that sounded remotely interesting. Let me elaborate a bit, ok? When you see Asylum show up on the screen, its never anything fantastic, but sometimes, MOST times, we actually get those “so bad its good” and what I get is a good laugh out of it. I mean, I get to laugh at whats going on. You know, I consider those masterpieces because its just bad but oh so fun. Flash back to my 2 Headed Shark Attack for last time’s entry. That was bad but at least, I got a good laugh out of the stupidity and I got to roll my eyes a lot.
Now, 100 Degrees Below Zero is NOT in that league. I sat here bored OUT OF MY MIND! Like, I mean, so bored, I was so tempted to open my book and just listen to the movie as it played. This movie is an hour and 28 minutes and aside from the expected horrible low budget typical b-horror effects and the stupid dialogue, I wanted to punch the brother and sister in the face and then I mean, there were characters that were introduced and then vanished. I guess, they had to leave to escape the deep freeze from the only means of transport possible, out to Australia where its all hot and comfy to be.
I think I rolled my eyes once and I mean, literally nothing happened aside from the obvious in a catastrophe, people wanting money (because it would be so useful in a deserted place thats about to freeze over) and people stealing bikes and coats (because obviously there would be some use with everyone trying to escape Europe). And goodness, the buildings are collapsing because of all the earthquakes and pipes bursting from the temperature drop but nope, apparently, its a good idea to hide indoors before the parents get here. Ryan and Taryn, why are you so stupid? Taryn apparrently is a fashion school student who practices kicking mutant gigantic hail balls in her spare time and likes to wear short sleeves when everyone else is wearing sweaters (well, except for the other French girl) and Ryan is a medical student with no balance and makes stupid decisions. A great brother-sister duo right there…
Which begs the question(s): Who green-lights these movies?
And I have three more of these types of world catastrophic, apocalypse-y disaster flicks in my Netflix and I’m seriously wondering if I want to even give them a shot.
Oh, and that poster up there? False advertising. No one actually freezes over, even if I wish they did, *ahem* I’m looking at you Taryn. At least that would given the movie something. At least, someone does get stabbed by a gigantic icicle.