Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2014: WINTER ~ THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 (FULL SEQUENCE) (2011)

SFWPOSTERB

BY:

WITHAFRIENDLIKEGARY

CENTIPEDE2A

I can honestly tell you that this is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen in my entire life!

I actually liked “The Human Centipede” which had a plot, and I know a lot of people may not have cared for the first part due to outrageous content, but I didn’t pay as much attention to the fact a doctor wanted to sew three humans together, as I did that those three people were trapped inside a house and trying to think of how to escape before this mad scientist carries out his plan; I enjoyed watching part one b/c it was tense, unpredictable and full of suspense. I just wanted to see if the prisoners could find a way to escape. There were aspects of part one that I have not seen before and anytime a horror film can do that I have to respect the film.

However, part 2 is a different story!  If you can call it a story at all…

BRIAN'S MATCH.COM PROFILE PIC

BRIAN’S MATCH.COM PROFILE PIC

Part 2 has no plot; it has no point – there is no rhyme or reason; it’s as if the writer/director Tom Six simply wanted to make a film for no other reason than to shock the audience. The movie has absolutely nothing to do with the first part, other than some lonely and perverted psychopath sits around all day and watches “The Human Centipede” on loop and studies it so he can try to sew together a slew of humans and create a human centipede of his own…

But there’s a few problems that could deter his plan: um, for starters, he’s not a doctor; nor does he have any skills or seemingly a single sign of intelligence. He lives with his mom in a cramped apartment, so there goes his basement to imprison his victims, assuming he even catches any. At least the mad scientist of part one had a brain and a plan. Our wanna-be murderer in this one has neither…

CENTIPEDE2F

BRIAN DRIVING HIS BLIND DATE TO THE PERFECT PLACE

When movies like “Schindler’s List” or “The Artist” are shot in Black & White they look stylish and elegant; when “The Human Centipede 2” plays in Black & White you can tell it’s shot that way b/c the content would be absolutely too grotesque to be viewed in color; there are scenes that are graphic and disturbing for no other reason than a cheap attempt to make jaws drop. And my jaw did drop. It dropped b/c I couldn’t believe how bad this movie sucked!!!

CENTIPEDE2DThe only reason I made it through the entire duration of the film was b/c I was waiting for some major twist to happen to provide some kind of purpose to this vacant storyline. Some perspective. Something. But no such luck…

This movie is just atrocious all across the board. I cannot think of a single redeeming quality…except that it’s the perfect film to enter into “Shitfest”…and make me a frontrunner to win.

CENTIPEDE2E

THIS WOMAN SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT HER DATE WITH BRIAN WOULD NOT END WELL.

***

Hi everyone and THANKS Gary!! Well – it’s been a while since I posted anything of my own and everyone is probably totally relieved by this but, if you had an itch to read something I wrote, you could go over and check out a piece I did on the movie SE7EN for everyone’s favorite Table 9 Mutant’s big, new project!! You can get there easy by:

IPCBUTTON

38 comments

  1. Eric! I like the image you’ve used for today’s post. Unlike the Gwyneth Paltrow image now on my blog! Thanks for that, dude. ; )

    Nice review, Gary! I will never ever (EVER!) be watching this film. Glad you were brave enough to so that you could warn us! I’ve not seen the first one either. (I’m totally lying – of course I have. Everyone has seen the first one). : )

    Like

  2. Greta review Gary,

    Thanks for taking one for the team and now none of us need to see this (apparently) piece of shit movie.

    BTW Eric, no one likes reading what you have to write (which is why we all tune in when you have guest bloggers)

    🙂

    Like

  3. I’m going to be honest: I can’t even think about any of these films without getting nauseous, so I didn’t read much of this…but Gary, I do not doubt that you did an excellent job with this, and I’m sure this is one of the worst films ever. Eric, I’ma go read about Se7en right now!!

    Like

  4. I thought the first was very good. Clever even, in a weird realistic way. This piece of shit though, just horrendous. Bring on part 3, with porn stars and Eric Roberts. In a prison. With a 500 person centipede.

    Like

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