BY:
Children Of The Living Dead (2001) Review
Directed by Tor Ramsey
Starring:
Tom Savini
Marty Schiff
Damien Luvara
Jamie McCoy
Sam Nicotero
Running time: 90 minutes
Plot Synopsis: (via Wikipedia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children_of_the_living_dead
Serial murderer and rapist Abbot Hayes disappears from the morgue and becomes the leader of several waves of zombies that attack his home town. Fourteen years after the last zombie attack, a businessman relocates bodies from a local cemetery to pave the way for progress, but sets in motion Abbot’s next undead assault.
My Opinion:
I can’t be bothered
To write an in-depth review
So I will do this
In Rhyming Haiku
Tom Savini stars in this
Give this one a miss
Savini Make-up
Made the man a famous face
Acting in a film?
Not his saving grace
Stick with classic Romero
Bitchin’ Camaro
Give me a break there
Romero is hard to rhyme
This zombie movie
Is far from sublime
Serial killer Abbot
Has a bad habit
Of making dumb teens
Driving around in a van
Drive off of a cliff
And go BOOM! Oh man!
Now the dumb teens are undead
Shoot them in the head!
Now please watch this clip
It will give you an inkling
Of what I endured
What was I thinking?
Awful acting, no budget
I don’t begrudge it
Shitfest has been fun
As was this review haiku
To sum up this film
I asked a four-year-old to
Draw some poo to represent
This movie… Don’t rent!
My rating is this
And I think that this is fair
Two points out of ten
I don’t really care
Romero’s the zombie king
He poops on this thing
Hilariously shitty 🙂 T9M!
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Ha! Thanks! I’m not sure which sucks more – the movie or my review. : )
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nice to see you get your whole family involved in Shitfest, even your 4 year old son 🙂 Eric should be proud!!
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Hahaha! Eric did a lovely job on that drawing… I’m so proud of him. : )
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You named your kid after me??? AWWWWWWWWWW!!!
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Of course! He’s yours!
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LOL!!!!!
#proby
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Hahaha! Rob, I reply to comments on my iPhone app where smileys don’t show up. So, yeah – that read “your four-year-old son Eric”. Lol!!! I see the smiley before the name Eric now. Lmao!
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I really believed your son’s name was Eric. not that Eric was the father tho 🙂 (smiley face)
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LOL well played!
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Lol! Thanks! It’s pretty shit but I couldn’t think of anything to actually say about this dull movie. : )
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Rhyming haiku review? Awesome. Great work!
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Thanks! : ) I just couldn’t think of a way to actually go about reviewing this…
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I disagree. You thought up a great way. 😉
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This is beautiful. It’s a fitting followup to The Illead by Homer. A poem for the ages
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I know! And Homer is the best character on The Simpsons so I’ll take that as a compliment! ; p
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D’oh!!
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AMAZING review… definitely, definitely not going to see this film!
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Thanks! : ) And… It’s worth a watch if you’re having trouble sleeping. Think it took me four tries to make it through this as I kept zonking out…
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Thanks again for letting me take part in another amazing Shitfest, Eric! I’d have replied to this post sooner but I got distracted by that Hemsworth image for a couple of… Hours… : )
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OF COURSE!! I wouldn’t even think of doing this without you!!
#proby
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It’s on!!! It’s older so you can probably find it…
#itson!!!!
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Oh and get this – you know I am sitting here in Texas all alone today – so – in planning for this I bought a three pack of movies at a GAS STATION to have something to do. One of the movies is called Prison of the Dead. I bet it’s WORSE….
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We should watch Prison of the Dead together!!!
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Lol, this is an expertly shitty movie.
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Ugh. Indeed! I’ve never fallen asleep in the middle of a movie so many times! ; )
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Hmm, haiku review? My attorney will be in touch…
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If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit!!!
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Ha, love the haiku review! Totes brill!
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I think the Mutant is off at the movies watching something about a mustachioed dude who tosses off to a computer entity.
Isn’t this fun?? TOTES!!
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Totes MacGotes!!
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Thanks, Misty! : ) Eric was right – I’m just back from watching Her. I thought tossing off was a British phrase?!?
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Lol!!
#foreshadowing #science #tossingoff
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I think tossing off is pretty universal, lol. Hope you enjoyed Her better than this one!
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I did! I really liked Her. Far better than this! : )
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Really like your style
It was very original
unlike the film ha
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I think the Mutant is off doing something productive and academy award winning, so I’ll thank you for her : )
I would also try and write some Haiku but, spoiler: I’m stupid.
Thanks for reading!
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i used my fingers to count so I’m not sure I can get too cocky ha
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HA!!!
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Thanks, Alex! I was hoping all replies would be in haiku form!! ; )
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This film sounds dead shit
Your review was dead good, like
I’m bad at haikus
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Mrs. Mutant is currently Out Of The Office.
She sends her gratitude and praise at attempting the ancient arts.
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Lol! I love the replies in haiku. That was a good one! Sorry for the late reply – unlike Eric, I sometimes like to watch worthy Oscar-y films so I was at the cinema watching Her. : ) Spoiler: It’s better than Children of the Living Dead…
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Really??
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I shit you not!
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How has this film passed me by? HOW??
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I don’t know! You should watch it! It’s REALLY good!!!!! ; )
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That’s it, all film reviews should be in haiku format from now on. Excellent work! Love the poo rainbow drawing as well.
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Thanks! : ) Haha – I agree! They should! Yeah – I think the rainbow is what really makes that poo drawing. : ) Review of yours being posted in a few hours on my site! Can’t wait – great review of a great movie! : )
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Lololololol!!! Look at you, Mutant, getting all fancy on us with your haikus. Very funny. I shall stay far, far away…
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I know – I’m a master poet! ; ) Aww… I think this would be a fun one for us to all watch together if possible. While drunk. : )
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That would be MAGICAL.
#drunkprobies
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Haha nicely done, even got that guy from ‘From dusk till dawn’ 😀
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Thanks! Ha – true! He’s Oscar worthy in everything else compared to in this… ; )
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Way to go T9, bringing some excellent creativity to the table with your review!
That poster… I mean, wow. You had to know what you were getting into.
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Poor Mutant…. I sure do love her for what she went through….
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You love me anyway, dude! : )
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MAYBE!!!!
#yes
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Thanks! : ) I was embarrassed to send Eric my crappy poem/haiku thing but there wasn’t much I could say about this film! Hubby bought it for me because I like zombie movies. How sweet. It was, like, £1. ; ) And I still love the kick-ass-sounding T9 nickname! : )
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