Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SORORITY PARTY MASSACRE (2012) YEP!

SPM1

Let’s go ahead and get this out of the way: this isn’t SAVING PRIVATE RYAN. This is a movie about a bunch of barely dressed, curvy hot chicks getting killed in a variety of ways. Are your expectations set? This is a movie from the sub genre I like to call The Group Of Girls Trapped Somewhere Being Picked Off One By One or TGOGTSBPOOBO (check that link if you want to see some thoughts on a whole bunch of these babies!) and it’s my FAVORITE type of horror movie! So – yep I waited patiently for this to finally be released and it finally came out and I watched it – YEP – I loved it! It’s funny and silly and bloody and booby and the chicks are hot and they don’t take themselves too seriously and the lead actor is hilarious and boobs and butts and girl fights and – yep – this is my kind of movie. There are also two lengthy slo-mo montages in here featuring some of the best slow motion bouncing boobs I’ve seen since ATTACK OF THE 50 FT CHEERLEADER. MEEEEEOOOOOW PUSSYCAT!!! Good job, guys!

SPM2

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO – I guess we should do a deep dive into the plot here. The central and primary relationship between the male and the female, compulsed with a dynamic and libidinous catharsis of – of fucking wait, this is a movie about hot chicks in their underwear getting chased around and murdered. Their boobs bounce and they scream a lot and they kiss each other and they strip and do some yoga and they rub the lotion on the skin and there’s a wicked fun girl fight towards the end and who cares about the acting this is a movie about hot chicks doing things like this:

SPM3

There’s no shortage of movies like this out there to watch if you try – so if you’re going to make one of these, and you want people to watch it – how can you make it different? Well – aside from the premise that this is about a bunch of sexy chicks getting killed – the difference in here is probably the sound, editing and camera work.  This thing is chock full of super slow motion shots set to loud, blasting rap music which I normally don’t care for but I think it’s funny and used effectively here. I mean, the scene involving the pics above and below are about five minutes of supper slo-mo scored with LOUD rap – the sheriff and the cop from L.A. are coming down some stairs – all slo-mo The Right Stuff style and they turn the corner and BAM – BOOBS, lotion, rubbing, yoga – their faces are all sweaty and they do double and triple takes. It’s actually pretty funny and hard to describe so I’ll quit trying.

SPM4

Oh well – I guess that’s about enough of this. Based on the title of the movie you probably already know if you’re going to like it or not. I did. I liked it a lot. Let’s end this with a true story. Back when I was young and good looking, 1989 to be exact, I went out to California to visit my grandparents that Christmas and my friend I went to Disneyland. If you’ve ever been to a theme park you are probably part of the secret club that knows how to flirt with the ladies / guys while you’re standing in line for three fucking hours like cattle for a 30 second ride on a roller coaster. Well, as we were waiting in line for The Matterhorn I kept giving the eyes to this smoking hot Mexican chick AND SHE WAS GIVING THEM BACK!!! After the ride was over I got the balls to go talk to her and –

YVETTE2

she didn’t speak a lick of English!! But she looked exactly like Yvette Yates does in this picture (but with clothes on). I knew some rudimentary Spanish from high school so we were able to communicate and we rode some rides together and then went to the big Disneyland send off dance party thing they do (or use to do I haven’t been there since) and we totally Made It! WOO HOO! Go young Eric!!

Have a good weekend everybody!!

43 comments

  2. Zoë

    LOL this totally sounds like your cup of tea Eric!

    You are thrilled about a bunch of hot chicks getting popped… again 😛

    Pretty girl you made eyes with (though thankfully with more clothes).

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. jjames36

    Wait. You made it with a veritable stranger at Disneyland? I’m not sure that’s the wholesome, family entertainment for which Disney is aiming. 🙂

    As to the movie. I do not think I will ever see it. Ever.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  8. snapcracklewatch

    Are you this didn’t win an Oscar?
    I really liked the story at the end, I am laughing at my desk right now by myself. hahaha Any story that starts with “this one time I was at Disneyland waiting in line for the Matterhorn” is great! So did you guys talk Spanglish to one another, hold hands and become ever lasting long pen pals?
    #sisenor
    #gettingfreakyatdisney

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • theipc

      I think it just slipped out of The Academy’s hands at the lest second…. : (

      LOL!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! GOOD!!!! We actually did keep in touch a little through hand written letters… CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?!??! HAND WRITTEN LETTERS???? THE HORROR!!!!!

      LOL!!

      #oooolala

      #howaboutthismouseketeer

      Like

      Reply
    • theipc

      That’s actually not the poster I wanted to use but it was the only one I could find that was large enough…. what are you gonna do…?

      Like

      Reply
  12. Lem

    That’s a fantastic Disneyland story – I remember the “inner space” ride being the prime ‘make out ride’ in the early to mid 80s

    Like

    Reply

  14. Pingback: The Secret Village (2013): Officially worse than ergot poisoning. | FILM GRIMOIRE

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