Isaacs Picture Conclusions




I was really hoping to like this movie – really. Our man Joseph watched it and really liked it – and that poster is wicked awesome – and I like English shit (well, some of it) and all of that. SO I gave it a watch and it started out pretty creepy with someone eyeballing a chick taking a piss through a hole in the bathroom stall partition and then, HEY! It’s the dude from S.H.I.E.L.D.! Nice!! And then it went on and on and on and it was making me nervy and kind of worried for these two and then they added a third cast member and I was all “hey this is gonna be good!” and then it just kind of went on and on and on and on and on and I was REALLY let down by the fucking ending. So, as I let this ruminate for a few days before I started writing this piece, I started thinking more about how:


80% of this movie is two people driving around in a car. 10% is three people in a car and the remaining percentages are either one person in a car or people directly outside of a car. And with all of that, I still kind of liked the thing but…. it’s people in or around a car. BUT STILL! I liked it for the most part and then I reflect on the ending that is an incredibly bad decision and after all of that: there’s NO FUCKING explanation as to why all of this is happening. IS this guy REALLY THAT FUCKING MAD because someone spilled his beer? REALLY?? REALLY??? In 1995 my and some old friends drove from where I live to Chicago to watch OU play Northwestern in college football. We were getting shlacked 28-0 and it was hot outside so I took off my shirt because I was still young and skinny and some drunk must have been totally horny for me because he spilled his beer on my bare back. I turned to look at him like “WHAT THE FUCK ASSHOLE DICKSUCKHEAD???” and he was a giant of a man who could easily have stomped my testicles into alabaster powder. I was all “Come on!!” and he was all nice like “OH FUCK MAN I’M SO SORRY!!! HERE. PUNCH ME IN MY NUTS!!!” And I was all smart and thinking and logical and all “No dude. No way. How about you buy me a beer?” And he was all “NO MAN, PUNCH MY NUTS!!!” and I was like “I’m not punching your nuts.” and he was “DUDE PUNCH ME IN MY FUCKING NUTS!!!!’ and I was “I’M NOT PUNCHING YOUR FUCKING NUTS!!!” This went on for a few minutes and HIS friend talked him out of the nut punching and he went down and bought us two rounds of beer. All of this to say: Oklahomans are fucking classy people.


The dumbass point to all of that is: really?? Is the explanation to why ALL of this and all of the detailed planning that went into this because the dude from S.H.I.E.L.D. spilled someone’s fucking beer?? And still, I liked it. BUT… after everything that the audience has just gone through and the fact that this MIGHT be happening because someone spilled someone’s beer —– THIS is how it ends??? HUH?? WHAT??? HUH?? I don’t know. I don’t want to dog this movie because it’s not a dog of a movie like THE SECRET VILLAGE but I guess I was just kind of let down by the looseness of the plot and the ending. And the fact that it was just people in a car most of the time. Yet still, it worked for the most part.


In the end this certainly isn’t terrible but it’s not excellent because of some of the shit I shittily tried to write but it IS much better than a lot of the crap I watch. As in, I was at the grocery store earlier today and bought ANOTHER eight pack of horror movies for 4.99 USD. Check out the titles on this one: THE REFLECTING SKIN, OFFICE KILLER, FROZEN IN FEAR, PINPRICK, INVISIBLE, BROTHEL, THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM aaaaaaaaaaaand check it! A movie I really liked: STRANGE GIRLS!! Maybe this set will be better than the others….! (I doubt it). HAVE GOOD WEEKENDS EVERYBODY!!


  1. I think that The Reflecting Skin is a Real Movie and one some people consider one of the best horror type movies of the 90s, I wonder what it was doing on a 4.99 set. You might have yourself a find there.


  2. You have read my review already and so you know I agree with you.

    I will say I dislike the ending even more because . . . the thing with the beer is a total red herring that has nothing to do with anything. How do I know? The fucking hotel doesn’t FUCKING EXIST! Consider the timeline:

    1. Tom and Lucy meet
    2. Tom asks her to a festival. Tells her to bring friends.
    3. She agrees. Yay.
    4. He decides to spring a romantic surprise on her, hoping to get some action.
    5. He goes online, books a hotel room, prints off some informational pages and then brings them with him.
    6. He and Lucy go to a bar.
    7. Lucy goes to the bathroom where some creepy dude watches her.
    7a. Simultaneously, Tom may or may not spill someone’s beer. And/or have his beer spilled.
    8. Lucy and Tom follow some dude to maze whereupon their lives are totally changed and/or ended forever.

    And so . . . notice that booking the hotel happened before the incident with the beer. Only Lucy makes it to the hotel near the end of the flick and there is no FUCKING HOTEL! Which means the person who planned this murder started planning long before the beer was ever spilled and that brings back to the original question:

    What the hell?


    • theipc

      You know – these are all very good points! And – with these being all true – WHY DID IT END LIKE THAT?? Makes no fucking sense!!!


      • One more thing. It is also worth noting that if the villain were the same person with whom Tom argued at the bar, then Tom would have recognized him. Since Tom didn’t know the villain … well … He can’t be the same person.


      • theipc

        Good fucking point! I also now remember that when Tom goes off up that path and she gets the flashlight out of her bag, someone yanks on her hair and then mysteriously disappears making NO SOUND on a gravel road. And steals her clothes from a locked trunk.


  3. That story!!! I am still laughing. “Oklahomans are fucking classy people.” HELL YES. GO MIDWEST GO!!! Lol. Sorry you didn’t like this! I’m still kind of curious about so we’ll see–maybe I’ll check it out. Personally, I think you were just peeved because “no boobs.” 😉 Don’t punch anyone in the nuts this weekend!!!


  4. Gary Lee

    I just came across “Mum & Dad” on netflix instant, but it expires on 3/23; you should watch it before it expires. I think it’s right up your alley. It’s similar as “The Loved Ones”, but I think it was better.


      • Gary Lee

        I don’t have a blog anymore. But I wouldn’t write about it if I did just b/c it’s not really the kind of film I’d write about. I thought it was pretty good, but not really my style. But it’s definitely your style and the kind of film you’d rate highly I believe. I do respect it more than so many other similar horrors b/c it actually felt pretty plausible for the most part; there weren’t too many of those moments where you wanted to toss your TV out the window b/c of how stupid the characters are. So for that reason, I respect it.


      • Gary Lee

        I deleted my blog b/c hardly anyone was looking at it, and most people would not give my recommendations a chance b/c they’re too busy watching all the mainstream drivel and crappy new releases at the theater each week. Just b/c something is new doesn’t mean it’s good and is worthy of your time or money; just b/c something is at the theater doesn’t mean it’s quality. I get so sick of hearing all about the new releases, while movies like “The Hidden Face”, “Sleep Tight”, “With a Friend Like Harry”, and “Head-On” all get ignored and neglected. It actually pisses me off.

        I also can’t get anyone to watch the BBC series “Luther”, either; it has some of the very best writing for a TV series I have ever seen and Idris Elba is f’n PHENOMENAL in this role and even won a Golden Globe for his performance – but yet NO ONE in America will give it a chance b/c it’s not a big network! Everyone I recommended would say “That sounds awesome! I’ll add it to my list” and then meanwhile they watch a slew of other crappy movies and shows and when I ask MONTHS later if they watched “Luther” they’d say they have been too busy – yet they always found time to keep up with shitty TV shows on the big networks. One dude I recommended “Luther” to said he was looking forward to watching it and had heard so many good things about it, etc. – but then he started watching “Dawson’s Creek” on netflix instant, instead. lol. I gave up on that guy.

        Sure, i could have got a lot more views had I posted 2-3 entries a week about the films currently playing at the theater, but then I wouldn’t enjoy it – and I’d rather have less views and enjoy the content I write about than more views and be bored with the films I’d have to watch.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. That whole “punch me in the nuts” bit does seem kinda dicey. Like if you’d finally caved and punched him, then 3 weeks later you’re just living your life all cool and whatnot then BAM! You’re getting served paperwork from some shitty lawyer bc that dickwad was laying some litigious trap for you the whole time. Good thing you kept your wits about you, though and didn’t fall for it!


  6. I feel like the best way to avoid bad movies would be to not but an eight pack for 4.99. On the other hand, I think it’s more fun sometimes to write reviews on terrible movies than it is to write reviews on good movies.


  7. Victor De Leon

    I was supposed to watch this last weekend. Joseph gave it a really great write up. I need to get around to it. So much great buzz out there. Good job bro, even though I may lower my expectations a bit, based on your review. Stoked for this one!


  8. garylee828

    I just read your entry now that I watched it (i usually don’t read reviews about a film until I’ve seen it) and this thing just felt like it had no direction; which is funny b/c as Ryan pointed out the actors didn’t know what was coming next in the scenes, etc. I could tell. This was just redundant and got boring after 30 minutes of driving around and panicking at only God knows what b/c I couldn’t even tell what they were scared of. The girl kept saying “I saw someone!” and screaming hysterically, but yet we, the audience, never saw a threat; as I always say, you have to have an intriguing adversary to make a thriller interesting. Right after the 3rd guy got into the car with them I was done. It was just too boring for me to continue.

    But I saw the DVD pack you got and I saw a movie on netflix a while back called “Pinprick”. I wonder if it’s the same one. The one I saw was actually pretty good, so if you got it for $5 that’s a good deal. Let me know when you watch it and what it’s about and I’ll tell you if it’s the same one. I don’t want to divulge details about it and offer potential spoilers.


  9. garylee828

    The one I saw stars Rachael Blake and Laura Greenwood. If that’s the one you have it’s good. If you have a different one, it probably sucks like the others in the pack. lol.


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