Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE OCCUPANTS (2014) THREE TOP HATS

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Gang… there’s something weird going on with this movie… I watched this over a month ago… during the big SHITFEST and I remember looking it up on IMDB to get the release date and such and to check out who the smokin’ hot lead actress is. I even remember reading some comments about it and everything. When I looked at it the day I am writing this, the IMDB page indicates this hasn’t even been released, has no poster image and no reviews. Further, I now can’t even remember where I watched it (iTunes or Netflix), the beginning of the movie or even what the lead male looked like. In fact, aside from the very very end, I can’t really remember the big finale. And I watched it totally sober!! Is someone fucking with me?? Did some alien steal that airplane over that ocean and then come over here and probe me, erasing my memories of this thing?? Is the govt. sending those black helicopters out here to erase my brain?? Is it a secret Postal Service conspiracy??? Is it the masons??? Is it Honi the Circle Drawer????? IS IT THE BOOFS??????????!??!?!?!?!?!!! We may never know the truth but let’s see what we can come up with….

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So… this hot chick is kind of fucked up for some reason I don’t remember. But she’s over it now and working as a counselor for abused women and (I think) used to bop her old colleague on the sly.  I could be wrong because memories are vague on this one but she either bopped the fuck out of him or he wants to bop the fuck out of her. Anyway, now she has a baby and one night she’s getting bopped by her old man and god damn these Uncle Ray’s Salt & Vinegar potato chips are salty… SHIT!!! What’s a good lip pucker thing? (*)? No… { * } Maybe… who cares.. back to the topic – one night she’s getting bopped by her husband and some things happen outside the bedroom window and then the husband is asleep in what I am sure is an Emission Coma and – OH FUCK THERE’S A SHADOWY FIGURE IN THE ROOM JUST OUTSIDE THE BED!!!! OH SNAP!!THEOCCUPANTS2

Well – I’m not going to spoil this one because it’s really not too bad but soon they are seeing things like this in their own dining room:

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And this (check out what’s on the wall behind them):

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And someone’s even doing some of this:

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I don’t think it’s “Unmemorable” but for some reason I can’t remember much of it…. HMMMM… You might like it or you might not. I’ll probably give it a re-watch it sometime when it’s on cable to fill in the gaps. In the end, after society crumbles and mankind almost becomes extinct, after the rise of the machines and the Great Space War with the Niburians, after we finally find peace and live a life free of poverty and oppression, 2,000 years from now, when our descendants look back at this generation, I doubt they’ll say, “Well… they did make The Occupants.”

49 comments

  1. When you say bopped by her husband do you mean he is hitting her or are they having sexy time I’m thinking you mean sexy time cause no matter what film it is someone always makes time for sexy time even if there’s a mad man wavering a knife xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha! Great last sentence. : ) Weeeeeeeird shit going on, dude. You SURE you saw this? Maybe it’s like that Julianne Moore movie The Forgotten. Btw…… ( * ) is NOT a “lip” pucker. Lol!! Wrong end….

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  3. Skeletor

    Mmmmm..I’d say the lead actress is more semi-boppable than bop-bop-boppable. Then again, I could be miscalculating since I don’t bop a whole lot of chicks these days. I think I’m losing my mojo. Of course, I havent really met many boppable chicks in the last decade to begin with, so who knows? Despite the boppability factor, I thought the people around the table looked like good company…I mean, they didn’t look super chatty so at least they wouldn’t be talking with their mouths full, you know? I suppose they could stare a little less, but we all have our little quarks. I could probably fart a little less, but who’s counting?

    3 top hats, eh? I may give this one a gander.

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  4. This is what will define our generation?? Well that seems…depressing. Hahaha. Given the general meh attitude, I think I’ll just not watch this one…But good job, buddy!!!

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  5. Omg, you have Uncle Ray’s too?? That’s awesome! We also have Uncle Ray’s chips in Canada! But they are hard to come by, you have to go deep into the bad neighbourhood to get them. Very risky, yet delicious chips.

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      • Dill Pickle is the greatest chip flavour ever invented. They can keep coming up with all kinds of hot wings and vinegar and sourkraut grilled cheese flavours, but they will never match up to the magic of Dill Pickle.

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      • theipc

        It’s ON!!

        Although… if you were on Twitter… you would have the painful knowledge that R.O.T.O.R. is off sic today wiping his runny bottom…. Twitter has some disadvantages too…

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  6. Isaac, this blog wins blog of the year in my book, purely because I came on to read this article only to be confronted with a half naked Matty Mc at the top! The guy is a legend and I love it he has been recognised as such by being placed at the top of your site!

    Like

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