Hi everyone! Okay, so… I’m a little nervous right now.
I realize I’m known for my reviews of nasty horror movies filled with gratuitous nudity but I feel like we’ve all become such good friends here that I can start being myself. The truth is… I LOVE Disney films. Frozen was fantastic and Let It Go deserved the Best Song Oscar it received. I don’t know why I’ve been afraid to admit this before now. There’s just something about Disney movies! The cute animals, the beautiful animation, the wonderfully catchy songs I can’t help but whistle while I eat beef jerky and drive to work in my big manly truck, the important life lessons they teach us about being kind to one another & always trying our hardest to be good people… And there’s nothing I like more than a happy ending!
So, in honor of the brilliant Frozen, I thought I’d compile a list of My Five Favorite Disney Princesses: 🙂
You have to respect a Disney Princess who won’t be forced into a marriage that’s not based on love. Because love is what makes the world such a beautiful place. Without love, we are nothing. Plus, I’ve got a magic carpet she can ride (while I continue to respect her).
4. Snow White
Her values may be a little old-fashioned but I respect the way Snow White believes in hard work and taking care of those she loves. We’re also both animal-lovers so I know we’d get along beautifully. And my house would always be so clean! (Not that I’d force her to clean all the time – that’s not a woman’s job. I’d respect her decision to be a stay-at-home wife or to become an important businesswoman. Women can be whatever they want to be! I respect & support all their decisions).
I respect Merida’s strong will & bravery. She stands up for what she believes in (and is damn good with a bow & arrow!). Plus that Scottish accent is delightful and her beautiful ginger hair & pale skin would make us the loveliest, palest couple known to man. We could hide in a cave like bats & kiss a lot.
Ahh… Belle. She finds the beauty hidden within the beast and teaches us all that you truly cannot judge a book by its cover. And she reads A LOT. I love that because a brain is always the first thing I look for in a woman. I respect Belle for her values & her mind.
Oh sweet diva! Elsa is DIVINE. Elsa is the one to make me decide to come out of my shell & express my love for all-things-Disney. Like Elsa, I had a hidden secret. You have no idea how free I now feel. Thank you, Elsa, for teaching me to “Let It Go”! You’ve changed my life. And you have a nice rack. (But I still respect you as human being with boobs and feelings)
Thanks to all of you for letting me get this off my chest and for being my friends. I know you will continue to follow The IPC as it now becomes “An Honest Review from an Honest Disney-Loving Guy“.
*Internet hugs, kisses & glitter for you all!*