Isaacs Picture Conclusions

DARK MIRROR (2007) TWO TOP HATS

DARKM1

I kind of like this poster that I found out there (above) – this is the one I got with my copy 😦 :

DARKM2

LOL – this movie! I watched this during the last SHITFEST and it was…. not good. Here’s pretty much how I work: I wake up around four or five AM my time and have a morning piss / check emails, go back to bed until that fucking infernal alarm goes goes off, get back up and re-robe, do some morning rituals, Clean my Most Unclean Self, head to where I spend the most of my day, reply to comments and emails, do my Blog Reading and try to write something. I’m very, very, very, very, very fucking slow, so that writing goes at the speed of a slug leaving a trail of slime behind it… then, in the afternoons, I try and do some movie watchin’ (if the schedule permits) and, after that, I head out to do some SPARTACUS-style-Arena-Sword-Fightin’ (but that doesn’t always work out) (never has). Eventually, I head back to IPC HQ and wait for MRS IPC to get home while I crack out a few words or maybe a Graphic that someone might see sometime and then it’s Family Time and Dinner and maybe an Ass-Kicker workout on the mother fucker Elliptical and then *POOF* my body is dead and I’m: Tits Up in bed.

DARKM3

And – all of that is to say that I watched this (and many other things I intend to write about) two months ago (or so) so bear with me (or bare with me) (#perv) as I address some things that might have been viewed a while back but I’ve also just been eating some VERY hot beef jerky and Jalapeno Cheese, so I might be sweating a touch…. WOAH…. Day 2 of writing this review finds me wondering where I was going with the start of this paragraph because I was having some cocktails waiting for the Mrs. to get home. I think I was going to put a word balloon in the picture above that read: “WHY THE FUCK DO YOU BOTHER US ALL THE TIME, ISAACS??” but now I’m not interested in doing that any more, so, I guess, let’s discuss the movie here.

DARKM4

UM – SPOILERS – (if you care). This movie was TOTALLY dumb and boring and I had a hard time keeping attention to it because of that. This lady and her husband and her kid move into a house and she starts taking pictures with her fancy camera and she takes a picture of a mirror and you know how there’s that optical effect when you have two mirrors in front and behind you and it looks like the reflections go on for infinity? Well, this picture she takes of the mirror makes that optical effect for some reason and brings up some sort of ghost (remember this) and everyone she starts taking pictures of ends up deader than fuck, holy shit.

DARKM5

Well……. one morning she can’t find her fucking camera and it turns up in the other room and she looks at the recent images on it and, sure as fuck enough, her kid’s been taking selfies with his dad so she breaks the fucking thing but it doesn’t make any difference because she’s the fucking ghost in the mirror or some fucking shitcrap and soon enough everyone’s dead and some new family is moving into the house. This movie was bullshit and I give it a rating of two because I thought the lead was very attractive and she spent a good ten minutes wearing nothing but an apron and there was ONE cool scene with an alternate reality door.

Looking at IMDb to get the names of the people associated with this for my tags, I see some people who commented how much they loved this movie. I am writing this on a Wednesday with a post set to come out on Friday involving a fancy Graphic I made that I don’t know if anyone will have ever looked at it or liked it, but I REALLY like what I did so here’s a spin-off. To the people who claim that they love this movie:

ASHAMED

44 comments

  1. Zoë

    Chop,

    “deader than fuck” – still one of my favourite expressions!

    And another “you should be ashamed of yourselves”… I so love those things!

    JB

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  2. table9mutant

    Bare with me… Hahaha! These types of reviews of yours are my favorite. Screw talking about the movie – your daily routine is more interesting anyway. ; ) The idea behind this movie actually sounds okay, though. Too bad it sucked! Oh, I love today’s header! Can totally see my name in that. ; )

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    • theipc

      I love these types of write-ups too. Fuck the movie!!! LOL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

      This may or may not have had (YOUR NAME) written all over it : )

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      Reply
  3. jjames36

    I totally love this movie. And I’m not ashamed.

    Neither of which is true. I haven’t seen it. Haven’t heard of it. And am never going to change the former. 🙂

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  4. Smash

    What kind of job do you have that permit you to blog/write in the morning and then movie watch in the afternoon?!? I want that job. I’m gunning for you now, Isaacs.

    Like

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    • theipc

      Hi Smash!!

      I’ve told people this before and they all say that, but you don’t know what it’s like to sit in a room with no windows for 40 hours a week with NOTHING TO DO. It’s REALLY FUCKING BORING and it’s the whole reason this blog exists. I promise you – you would hate it. Now come work for me and let’s have some fun!

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  7. Skeletor

    Damn, I thought this one looked good, too….I trust your professional critique. Avoid it, I shall!
    In other news, I prefer to hit the hay tits sideways. I’m afraid if I go tits up, someone will try to tickle my belly. 🙂

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    • theipc

      It’s not – DON’T DO IT, Stretch. And I don’t mean go stretch instead of watching this movie, I’m calling you Stretch like I use to that you might have forgotten after all this time.

      🙂

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  9. Victor De Leon

    You have the most epic fuckin’ routine in all of the known universe. Pissing and all. Um. so what was this movie you reviewed, now? I wasn’t paying attention.

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  10. snapcracklewatch

    That sounds like a typical day duh watch movies, blog, kick ass, eat jerky, wash body repeat. Maybe it was the actors writing those reviews or I bet it was totally you and you probably loved LOVED this movie.

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  11. Wednesday's Child

    I would probably like this movie, but I am a sucker for supernatural horror of all kinds. But talking of IMDb reviews, have you noticed that there is this guy named Claudio Cavalho from Brazil who writes a review of EVERY horror movie on IMDb? I wonder if he works for the site? Dude is flippin’ prolific, and I am envious. You should get an interview with that dude and have him tell us all what motivates him.

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    Reply
    • theipc

      I’ve never really paid attention to the user names… and you know.. it seems that most of the time when I look at the boards they are all filled with (post deleted). Must be the movies I choose…

      Like

      Reply

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