Isaacs Picture Conclusions

CONFINE (2013) THREE TOP HATS

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New around these parts? If you’re confused by the rating system you can learn all about it HERE while you have your morning / afternoon poop.

Either way, here we are again, sipping our morning moonshine, smoking our corncob pipe, not wearing any shoes and rolling some blunts for later so, let’s talk about CONFINE. A classy and good looking model gets in some sort of car wreck and, after getting out of the hospital, she boards herself up in her apartment and never goes outside. Well, she doesn’t board herself up but she locks herself in and stacks her magazines a certain way and organizes her pens and her medicines and survives the day OCD style. She also has some very valuable things locked up in there with her but I never really understood why. In the biggest plot hole of the movie, some blond with an enormous set of boobs breaks into her flat somehow and holds her hostage until the guy who got his dong cut off in Game Of Thrones shows up.

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There’s nothing super special about CONFINE aside from the beautiful last ten or so minutes before the epilogue scene so if you’re really interested in seeing I would just wait until it’s out for free. Be sure to check out your fancy new Decision Flow down at the bottom of this and let me know what you think! 🙂

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In the meantime, let’s switch gears a little and talk about the new season of Game of Thrones. And by typing “let’s talk about the new season of Game of Thrones” I’ll use my handy IPC Rosetta Stone and go ahead and translate that into IPC Language: Which character would you pork from GOT? I’m sure all of the ladies are going to come around and say The Hound, which is totally understandable, but I’m going to put it out there that I would totally bone the red headed Wildling chick:

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“That’s not my belly button!!!” “That’s not my sword…….”

Who would you pork?? If you feel like it, I mean it’s your prerogative and all, but if you want I’ll add your selection up here in the post and try and find a saucy picture for it. Here’s your Decision Flow for CONFINE, in case you forgot about it while you were dreaming of boobs and buns and sausages. And swords and incest and Bud Light and a hamburger and honey and Zoe and Film Grimoire.  And how you need to change the cat litter and grout that tile over there and how ANCHORMAN 2 FUCKING SUCKED!!!! And how The Rock just had to “act” like he was struggling to lift an 80 pound bag of concrete because it’s actually weed in this SNITCH movie that’s totally so boring I’m not paying any attention. Where was this going? I forgot. What the fuck.

HAVE GREAT WEEKENDS!!!

DECISION FLOW TWO

 

Who would you pork????

Luke | Oracle of Film:

It would easily be Margary Tyrell for me. Even if it does mean having Joffrey’s sloppy seconds.

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Zoe | The Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger

Screw Game of Thrones!!!

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 Mike | Screenkicker

i would totally pork that superhot witch lady that gave birth to a shadowy ghost demon thing that one time. some nudey pics of her would make my day!

CONFINE8Anna | Film Grimoire

As for my Game of Thrones husband, I’d probably choose Ned Stark, pre-episode nine of the first season… if you catch my drift. He’s just so honourable and nice. Plus, what a killer haircut. Watch out ladies!

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 Chris | Terry Malloy’s Pigeon Coop

I’m totally with you on the ginger wildling chick. Then she can talk all northern English at me. Ooh, or Tyrion’s lady friend (Shae?) She was a porn star after all.

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Brian | Hard Ticket to Home Video

I would pork that huge-boobed hooker from the first two seasons who everyone was in love with because of her huge boobs and well-groomed pubes. I know Joffrey killed her, but even still…

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Abbi | Where the Wild Things Are

Err Jon Snow OBVIOUSLY!

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Table Nine Mutant | Cinema Parrot Disco

I don’t watch it so don’t know who I’d pork. : ( Can’t I just pork Chris Hemsworth again? (Why did I say again?? I wish!).

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Laura | Film Nerd Blog

Can I only choose one? If so, I’d pick Jaime Lannister. Although I’d like it noted that I did have a soft spot for Drogo too… I wouldn’t usually go for a man with longer hair than me, but he’s just so BIG!

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Cara Gale | Silver Screen Serenade

You did a Game of Thrones post and DIDN’T INVITE ME????? Rude. I’m gonna go eat my feelings.

#RUDE #PROBIEHURT #teamrobbstark #NOTTHATANYONEASKEDME

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Melissa | Snap Crackle Watch!

CARA hello he didn’t invite me either… your done we’re breaking up with you. #JonSNOWDUH #JamieLannisterwith1arm #hellyeah

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78 comments

  1. LOOOOOOOL! Well, that was a roundabout thing. Great review, when all is said and done. Not something that looks very interesting at all.

    Game of Thrones? Erm… yeah probably going to skip from there (didn’t finish season three, so no idea if a new yummy stepped onto the set). We all know what I want for my birthday lol.

    Thank goodness I do not suffer from OCD o.O I might not have survived that!

    Like

  2. I think ‘Which Game Of Thrones Character Would You Pork?’ should be its own article haha.

    And it would easily be Margary Tyrell for me. Even if it does mean having Joffrey’s sloppy seconds.

    “Lord Renly did suggest something once, but it sounded very painful and wouldn’t have resulted in children.”

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Aw, I scored a mention! How heartwarming, thanks Eric! In the meantime, if you want to see the boobs of the one with the scars on her face, it’s all over the internet!

    As for my Game of Thrones husband, I’d probably choose Ned Stark, pre-episode nine of the first season… if you catch my drift. He’s just so honourable and nice. Plus, what a killer haircut. Watch out ladies!

    Liked by 1 person

    • theipc

      She’s YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMY!

      For the sake of variety, I’ll add you to the list and put in Tyrion’s lady friend, if we can remember her name….

      Like

  4. Aww – I don’t watch it so don’t know who I’d pork. : ( Can’t I just pork Chris Hemsworth again? (Why did I say again?? I wish!). You reviewed a movie but I’ve forgotten what it was with all that porking talk & I’m too lazy to scroll up again…. Sounded boring! : )

    Like

  5. Can I only choose one? If so, I’d pick Jaime Lannister. Although I’d like it noted that I did have a soft spot for Drogo too… I wouldn’t usually go for a man with longer hair than me, but he’s just so BIG!

    Like

  6. Yes! Thanks for updating. We don’t get Sky Atlantic (the channel GoT is shown on in the UK) so I’ll have to wait for the DVD release, but I’ll enjoy the pitcures in the meantime.

    Like

  7. I just started getting into Game of Thrones and have only watched the first season so far. I cried when Ned died. Seriously, that ripped my fucking heart out. And then goddamn Drogo died too, and I was like “Smash will never love again…”

    Liked by 1 person

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