Isaacs Picture Conclusions

A PUBLIC RANSOM (2014) LET’S SEE HERE….

PUBLIC1

Happy Monday!! UGH – back to fucking work….

You know – I’ve had submissions for screeners twice. The first time was some movie with Tia Carrere who I had just met at a Star Trek Convention and she was a total bitch so I declined. This time around I got an email late on a Saturday night and the director seemed cool and I’m all about some independent film so I replied back and said “sounds good” (or something) but I still wasn’t totally sold. I mean, I’ve always thought about screening movies and wondered how objective I could be if someone went out of their way to send me some of their hard work… I KNOW my shit is BULLSHIT but I would hate to dog someone’s baby if I didn’t like it because it takes balls to make a movie and put it out there, but I also don’t want to come out here and fucking sell out and lie, so I was leaning towards saying no,  but then the director was cool enough to send me this:

“While I have you, as I like to tell anyone kind enough to potentially review: I am in no way looking for a fluff piece etc. and I’m sure you don’t swing that way, to begin with. If it turns out you don’t dig the piece, please by all means be from the gut, and giddily enthusiastic in tearing it to ribbons, haha. I write on Cinema myself for a site and advocate strongly for raw honesty in matters of Film. Just like to say that in front, as I prefer feedback as unfiltered as possible. Not asking you not to like it, haha, just saying :)”

Fuck yeah. Instant cred with me. So did I like it??

PUBLIC2

Like I said earlier, I think it takes balls to make a movie and I appreciate that a movie gets made and I support independent film but…..

Because the director was cool and kind enough to make time sending me his film, here’s a gentlemanly take on the movie:

No I didn’t like this one very much. The Good and Most Beloved Reader who has been around for any period of time knows that I don’t care for too much dialogue and this one was very dialogue heavy. In fact, there was very little action and it was mostly one guy talking the entire time. In double fact, at one point one character says to the other “If someone tied your hands behind your back, could you even speak?” This is a reference to the lead talking constantly and waving his hands around all over the place. Simply put, this isn’t my type of movie but the director seem pretty cool and I appreciate the chance to look at it. I bet he reads this (since he asked me to write about it) and I bet if you ask him, he’ll let you look at it too. Other people will probably like this more than I did. I just didn’t care for all of the yapping.

(In the end, I shot him an email asking about his site and he agreed for me to include the address in here, in case you want to give it a shot. I bet he would love to read your take on it! The place to find the movie is here: http://apublicransom.wordpress.com/ and the password is pransom)

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And now, since Mr. Director Friend said he didn’t care if I tore it up, since he wants honesty, here’s my other take, in typical IPC style:

GOD DAMN will this guy EVER SHUT THE FUCK UP??!?!??!?!??!! Who uses so much fucking inflection??? FuUUUuuuUuUUUUuuuuuuck!

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH  BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

And that’s just the first ten minutes or so when he’s talking on his cell phone. He then talks to his girl friend and then talks on his cell phone and then goes to some dude’s house and they do some talkin’ and then he talks on his phone a few more times and then talks to the girl again and then the guy and then the girl and then on his phone and then the guy again and he waves his arms around all over the fucking place and does some more talkin’.

PUBLIC5

Eventually he shuts his fucking yap and walks around in the snowy night smoking cigarettes. But that doesn’t last too long and he starts talking again and yelling and waving his arms around and jumping around a little bit and then it’s over. Like I said, some people will probably like this  but it’s just not my type of movie.

I do thank you, Mr. Director Friend for letting me check out your movie. I prefer my movies with more blood and boobs.

Love,

THE IPC

86 comments

  1. Zoë

    Dear Chop,

    Seriously now, what is up with Mondays? Is there any particular reason we have to suffer through these godawful things?

    How diplomatic. Pity it was so dialogue heavy, you might have felt differently if there was more action and boobs. In any event, let’s see what he has to say. Maybe I will check this out sometime!

    Love,

    JB

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    Reply
    • theipc

      My Dearest JB,

      Did we even have a weekend back there? YAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN CRY CRY CRY.

      Yeah….. way too much talking for me and way too much cell phone usage. Who talks that much on a cell these days??? Text, man. Text!!!

      LOL – this has been good fun despite how I felt about the movie – the director has been a class act. You should give it a shot and let me know what you think! Time for a nap!

      Love,

      Chop

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      • Zoë

        Dear Chop,

        CRY CRY CRY some more. Maybe someone will hear us and give us the weekend back!

        We shall see.

        Nap. Immediately. BEST IDEA EVER.

        Love,

        JB

        Like

      • theipc

        Dearest, Dearest JB,

        To make matters even worse, IT’S STARTED FUCKING SNOWING outside on April 14th. WTF???

        CRY CRY CRY CRY!!!!

        Fondly and Coldly,

        Chop

        Like

      • Zoë

        My fairest Chop,

        Oh dear… that sort of came out of nowhere! I hope that you are snug and all that, and that the snow stops soon (I know you are such a fan).

        SULK SULK SULK.

        Love,

        JB

        Like

  2. table9mutant

    Lol! This is so not YOU. ; ) I probably wouldn’t mind it. I love movies where people just talk a lot! Give me a Richard Linklater film any day. : ) Mr Director – don’t worry too much about Eric – he honestly does just like boobs & blood. And a bit of sci- fi. But we put up with him anyway. ; )

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  4. (KUBOA)

    Haha–no, I’d no idea what I was letting myself in for, but I’m so glad I did let myself in. Someone doesn’t dig on something, well, this is the way to say so, right? Haha. Really fantastic–so much more worthwhile than a “politic” response. Thanks, Eric, for soldiering through–it seemed a particularly rough time of it for you–yeah, nary a boob in sight and a real blabber fest, to boot 🙂 Cheers. -Pablo D’Stair (writer/director A Public Ransom)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • theipc

      Thanks again for the opportunity, sir! While I didn’t love it enough to marry it, I’ve had fun with the whole project.

      Thanks again!

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      Reply
    • Zoë

      Ah, Mr Director Friend in the net-flesh! Great to see you are such a good sport about it, and good you didn’t know what he would come back with, right? The IPC is an honourable and upstanding man/institution/Trekkie/reviewer/Star Chop, though he is not dialogue intensive haha, which is a pity (he misses the point of some stellar films due to this from time to time) – next time throw in a gratuitous boob and he will be sold!

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    • jjames36

      You, sir, just found a fan, though I’ve never seen any of your work. Anyone confident and sincere enough to respond as such to Eric’s reviews is a winner in my book. (If you’re willing to let me . . . I’d also be happy to give A Public Ransom a watch. It sounds much more like my kind of film than Eric’s.)

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  6. johnlink00

    Haha. Brilliant. Awesome of the director, too, for being what we’d all like artists to be: willing to throw their art out there and being understanding when it doesn’t connect.

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  7. (KUBOA)

    Hi all–figured rather than trying to stalk your all’s e-mails (I think I found a few of you before figuring there was an easier way, haha) I’d just mention here that any one who feels like giving the film a look and possibly writing something up on it–well, I’d just effing love that. Obviously it goes without saying I dig on all reactions–positive, negative, or ambivalent. As this review says, the film is free to view at the link provided. Alternately, we have a page at IndyRed (here: http://www.indyred.com/a-public-ransom.html) that allows for comments and ratings and all. And you can drop me a line, if that grabs you, at unburiedcomments@gmail.com. Cheers in advance for anyone who even considers it.
    -Pablo D’Stair (writer/director A PUBLIC RANSOM)

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    • (KUBOA)

      The only way to misjudge an audience is to prejudge them–artists, film directors especially, are worthless, just utterly pathetic, if they only want to show their work to people they think are guaranteed to dig it–where on earth is the adventure or connection in that supposed to come from? Besides–no one is guaranteed to like my work, haha 🙂 And this thread has been the most fun out of all the responses I’ve gotten by far, so much better than a circle-jerk, right? 🙂

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      Reply
  16. Smash

    Kind of you to take the chance, sir IPC. And even kinder still of you to be honest. You may not have enjoyed the movie, but this was probably a rewarding experience nonetheless.

    Like

    Reply

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