Well, poop. For me, this is a boring ass time of year, there’s no football, no basketball (college) and baseball season just started so there’s really nothing going on. But, you know what, instead of my originally intended mopey bullshit post about nothing, let’s do something fun. Maybe fun. I don’t know. Is this fun or stupid? Am I just stupid? Lord knows. let’s have a beer and a shot and go about this differently… in verse!!
Dear The Flesh and Blood show, you truly have self proclaimed to be
“An Appalling Amalgam of Carnage and Carnality’,
I find, instead, that you’re really quite lame,
Kind of a douche… and timid and tame.
Thanks for the boobs and the gratuitous feel,
There’s no silicon there, everything’s real.
I have to apreesh some big, floppy jugs,
But this movie’s real stupid and boring as FUGS.
I just used “FUGS” cuz I’m a real classy guy,
“Classy as FUCK”, yep, “Classy am I”!
Some chicks and some dudes get together to do
A live action Play and occasionally screw.
Soon, sure enough, someone’s killing them dead!
Deader than fuck!! Is what I just said!
I know Zoe likes it when I use that phrase –
Oh wait, she’s called JB because of her age!
Back to the movie, this thing kinda sucks,
I never really cared who’s killing these fucks.
Then, my attention REALLY started to stray
When they went back in time and showed a whole play,
Set during Double U Double U Two,
It’s some Shakespeare shit that gives us a clue
To just who the fucking killer might be
If you still care about his identity.
Soon after, it’s over and what can I say?
I’ve seen much, much worse at the end of the day.
There’s nothing too special to see, you sees,
Unless you want a glimpse of the Seventies.
Might be worth a look if your sick and in bed,
Whatever, it’s better than fucking BARN OF THE DEAD!!!!!
LOOOOOL! Ah, this is just so fun and entertaining! Deader as fuck strikes again! Whoop!!!!
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HA!!!!! I thought you’d like that 🙂 🙂 🙂
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You’re like Dr Seuss! If he’d been a filthy fucker. ; )
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Nice!!
#filth
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Blood is red
Flesh is blue
These boobs look good
Are there beaver shots, too?
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Nipples are red
Your balls will be blue
While these boobs are hot
Unfortunately not.
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…boobies…that is all…
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That’s all we need….
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Wow, what a poet! So, I am thinking about taking a stab at “Devil’s Due” online. Have you seen it?
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I haven’t – our friend Cara said it was shitfest material miserable….
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Well, I liked “PA5” so maybe I will like it!! lol. I will have to report back after I watch it.
*I also still need to watch “In Fear”. After you told me you didn’t like it, I put it on the back-burner.
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I still might do Devil’s Due when it shows up on Netflix. I didn’t think it looked too bad but I also didn’t hate “The Devil Inside”…
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I never saw Devil Inside b/c it just looked terrible to me. Devil’s Due doesn’t look great, but I’m hoping could be a possible surprise. If it’s too bad I will shut it off. Hopefully I will disagree with Cara, but probably not. Do you tend to agree with Cara’s choices or do you have different tastes?
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I agree with her on the things we’ve both seen. She watches a lot different types of movies then I do…
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I think you’d like PA5. I think it has some elements you like in your horror movies. It builds tension, creates a creepy environment, and is well-paced. It could actually be watched as a stand-alone from the PA franchise.
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I’m sure I’ll watch PA5 since I’ve seen them all…
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Okay, I just finished “Devil’s Due” and it wasn’t bad. It became a little discombobulated in the last act, but overall was pretty decent. It had some creepy moments; ones that I think you would enjoy. lol.
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I actually started PA: TMO yesterday and intend to finish it today. I think it’s pretty stupid but not the worst movie ever. It does have some OK moments…
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Okay cool, let me know what you think when you’re done. I think I’m gonna pull the trigger on In Fear today, and will drop a line what I think. Ryan liked this one and you didn’t – i will see what I think. Hopefully I like it better than you.
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Okay, I just turned off “In Fear” in the middle. More like “In Boredom”. I just don’t care what happens next. So dull.
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Yep……
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Sounds odd! Is that the kid from National Lampoon’s vacations.. Rusty?
FUGS I like that word… lol
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HA!! FUGS!!!
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No, not Anthony Michael Hall; this movie came out in 1972 and the guy is already older than Rusty in the first Vacation, which came out in the 80’s.
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Are you stupid? Categorically no. Was this fun? Categorically yes. “I just used FUGS cuz I’m a real classy guy.”
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Categorically file this under: Thanks!
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“An appalling amalgam of carnage and carnality” – awesome.
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HAHAHA!!
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The Flesh and Blood Show? Sounds like dinner at my house every night. Good post, man 😉
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! EXCELLENT!!
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Truly you are the Robert Frost of our generation. Also, I see I missed a whole conversation about PA: The Marked Ones and Devil’s Due. Meh. I think you guys have just seen so many shitty, straight-to-DVD horrors that the ones that actually manage to make to the theaters seem halfway decent. 😉
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Cara Gale – you are 1000% percent right. I look at SO MUCH terrible shit that things like PA: TMO don’t really bother me. I don’t think that Gary looks at as much bullshit as I do but you’re right. PA: TMO compared to INVISIBLE is an award winner.
#donthateme
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Hahaha. That’s alright, buddy. Whatever makes you happy. 😉
#iwouldneverhateyou #probielove
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YAY!!!!!!
#probielove4eva
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You’re gifted with the divine ability of dirty poetry. Well done, chum!
That movie poster is really cool though. I’d totally hang that one on the wall of my carnival torture chamber.
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Or your ceiling???
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There’s playoff hockey!!! Nice rhymes, changing it up.
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LOL!! THANKS!!
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Seems the boobs are the pleasing aspect in this film.
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