Isaacs Picture Conclusions

COMPULSION (2013) THREE TOP HATS

COMPULSION1A

The other day I was bored, actually I’m pretty bored a lot of the time, and there was nothing looking good to watch in the Horror queue, so I meandered into the Thriller aisle (so to speak) and saw this cover poster and thought “oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Heather Graham!!! YUM!!!” and then thought “oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Carrie-Anne Mosssssssssssssssssssssssss….. DELICIOUS!!!!!” so I fired it up and gave it a watch and…. whatever…. it was OK I guess. There’s some stupid shit in here, for sure, but I suppose it wasn’t the worst thing I watched all week…. I mean… I’ve always had a hard soft spot for Graham ever since I saw her in DIGGSTOWN and I don’t think you can go wrong with a little of this:

COMPULSION1C

And some of this:

COMPULSION1B

Or a little bit of this:

COMPULSION1D

WHAT????

COMPULSION1E

 SPOILERS!

So Graham knows how to cook and she wants to have her own cooking show on TV and be a Martha Stewart and shit and her boyfriend is Kevin Dillon and he likes sex and his pet bird and his secretary and Carrie Anne Moss lives across the hall and she has a troubled past with sex offenders and Joe Montegna looks really old these days and Dillon cheats on Graham so she cooks his bird and then for some reason Moss seduces Graham so Graham kills her and cooks her and eats her. End.

NOBOOBS

There might be a little more to it than that but if there is I missed it and I’m not going to go back and re-watch it. I hope EVERYONE has a GREAT weekend!! WET and SLOPPY SMOOCHES from THE IPC!! Here’s your handy Decision Flow for the week! I tried to make it simpler to follow this time!

DFLOW3

45 comments

  1. garylee828

    I had this on my netflix queue and was thinking about watching it sometime, but don’t think I need to now since you summed up the story. lol. I wouldn’t have read this if I really wanted to watch this, in which I didn’t; this probably saved me 90 minutes.

    Next time you’re bored and looking for something, check out “With A Friend Like Harry”. I am looking forward to that review! You’ll never think reciting a poem could be quite so creepy. LOL.

    Like

  2. garylee828

    Isaacs, have you seen “Afflicted”? (2013) I heard it was really good and I just saw it’s available for rent on Amazon & i-tunes. Know anything about it?

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  3. I don’t understand how I ended up drunkenly groping either Carrie Ann Moss or myself on that flow chart but it happened. Good times! Have you seen Heather Graham’s brief cameo on Sex and the City? It is not good.

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    • theipc

      Fairest JB,

      You should probably always be concerned in these parts. But, don’t worry, I’ve got big fists and I’ll protect you from the unclean.

      Honorably and Vigilant,

      Chop

      Like

      • My kindest Chop,

        Well then, nothing to change! Yeah, you are a massive dude and I am tiny, so I will just hide behind you and let you keep us all protected and what not. Dibs to have you in my zombie survival team!

        Love,

        JB

        Like

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