I’m sure everyone remembers when the lovely Cara Gale came out here and stormed into my office, kidnapped me and chained me up in her basement and then posted her thoughts on this movie on my site. Everyone liked her post so much she went off and won the big Shitfest contest. Well, I wrote down some notes during the big event to follow up on and, while I couldn’t finish the FUCKING AWFUL George Biddle CPA movie (it was TERRIBLE!!!) I did manage to make it through this one because sometimes a man just has to try things out for himself and, while I think this was TOTALLY stupid…. for some reason I didn’t really hate it. Thinking ahead, I am sure there will be some spoilers later so….
Thinking about this now, I have a feeling that my writing is going to come off very negatively about this which, I suppose, is the right way to go about it but, really, I think I liked this better than the 2nd and 4th installments. I mean, the first one was a one trick pony but I actually liked it. The second was fucking terrible and I actually REALLY liked the third one. The 4th one went tits up about ten minutes into it and it never fucking recovered and it was almost physically painful to finish but with this one, I think they tried….
It’s going to be stretch for someone to really enjoy this though, I think. The three kids at the heart of this are douches and NO ONE EVER would make the decisions they make. NEVER. The “I’m filming everything” has gotten so old it’s balls droop to the floor and it’s tits sag past it’s waist. Just give it up and go with a fucking static camera already, OK? We’ve ALL broken up with this gimmick shit. What else? Oh yeah – why in THE FUCK does the kid seemingly get super powers? What’s with the fucking super breath?? That was also pretty fucking convenient when that chick is sitting there in her bra and she opens that hatch. Eyeroll. Oh – and there’s a possessed Simon Says…
Is there anything good to come out of this? I kind of liked the scene depicted below. It reminded me of something from the third one. I also, in some way, like how it ended, back at Katie and Micah’s house, with an explanation of how number one ended BUT… TIME TRAVEL?? What’s that got do with anything? PUH-LEEZE.
I did go out to IMDB to look at some of the boards out there and there’s a LOT of discussion on who turned off the camera at the end. I thought it was Katie too, but it’s not:
So that leaves us with a cliffhanger on what was going on downstairs at the end of number 1, which I think is cool and kind of clever which is probably why I don’t HATE this one. But really – time travel?? What does that have to do with witchcraft?? Oh well…. I’ve seen MUCH worse and, I think, at least they tried. Oh and: