Alright folks, Zoë clocking in here. While Eric is
chained up in the basement with ergot poisoning out doing some severely hardcore manual labour, I hijacked was tasked to entertain you for the day. Now I am seriously having issues as to how to go about this, but I am sure that I will find a way to make this work.
I am not going in for Disney princesses or some serious male makeout fantasies (goodness knows my blog suffered at the hands of beefcakes and boobs for a while), so I had to think about this. While my thoughts are running rampant, they have convened on the fact that I can still not really forgive Eric for hating on The Godfather. More of that will feature over at Cinema Parrot Disco at some stage though.
So enough skirting of the issue. I’m going to take my role as entertainer for the day seriously, and hence I am going to present my top ten entertaining comic book movie villains. Bear in mind this is short notice and I have given it as much thought as a random kidnapping and silencing can merit, so this is not necessarily the definitive list (with the exception of number one, no debate).
10. Whiplash (Iron Man 2)
I had fun with this. Mickey Rourke was good when he took on the mantle of Ivan Vanko, aka Whiplash. Under the “supervision” of Justin Hammer, Vanko comes into the game to make a statement: Iron Man can be injured, and if he is injured, why does everyone hero worship him the way that they do? Never mind that, I thought his electrified whips were just brilliant, fun (this is the sadist in me) and scary. He was pretty damn smart, too.
9. Howard Saint (The Punisher)
Here’s my reasoning: whatever anyone has to say about John Travolta, he was good here. I like him. Really, I think he’s a pretty decent actor and he has had some brilliant roles (I am highlighting Pulp Fiction here – I don’t think anyone can disagree with that). Then he popped up in The Punisher as the millionaire crime lord Howard Saint, and I was on board. I liked what he did with the character. He was rich, he was entitled, he was a father and a business man and he was certainly vindictive. He was manipulating and cold, too, and I liked that. Definitely someone worth going up against Frank Castle, no two ways about it.
8. Doctor Octopus (Spider-Man 2)
Alfred Molina did a good job with Doctor Octopus, though I feel he was criminally underused and that it could have been such a bigger, better role. Nevertheless, he was entertaining, he was such a sad man, he was intent on getting what he wanted and by any which means necessary to get there.
7. Loki (Thor, The Avengers, Thor: The Dark World)
I know I will be unpopular with this, but Loki is in actual fact not my most favourite comic book movie villain in the MCU. Let’s put it like this: Tom Hiddleston is fantastic and gives Loki his best, and gives him a lot of character and what not. It is the writers that are to blame. He is awesome when he is being all hardcore and sarcastic and what not, but then there are other times where he is bogged down by cheese and lameness, which sucks, cause he really should be phenomenal all the time.
6. The Scarecrow (Batman Begins)
Yes, much love here for Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy, I am a massive fan and it shows that each movie he brought managed to bring a villain with it to that was sure to excite and delight the audience. Cillian Murphy came to us as the Scarecrow, and damn he was awesome. With a voice you could easily listen to for ages and a calm and slightly scary demeanor which suddenly snaps into something freaky, it is no wonder that he would have been a favourite of mine. Murphy was excellent here.
5. Magneto (X-Men franchise)
I have always enjoyed Magneto. He is someone (yes, this will be said), that I have always understood on some level. Sir Ian McKellan was amazing at this. I have always perceived Magneto to be the realist and Professor X to be the idealist. Magneto suffered at the hands of Nazis (its a theme haha) and came out scarred, knowing the darkest depravity of the human mind. Using his abilities, he wants his world order, to be the superior beings, to stop the mere humans, the ones that will alienate them and hate them and hunt them. He is compelling, and I must say that I like him. I do not always agree with him, but one can definitely understand how his reasoning works.
4. Bane (The Dark Knight Rises)
I absolutely hated Bane’s portrayal in Batman & Robin, and, while we are at it, Schumacher should have been shot for that. He is not supposed to be some… oh goodness, getting all worked up. We will move right along. I loved what Tom Hardy did with the character, and I honestly believe that Christopher Nolan did the villains in his films justice. Bane was no exception. He was smart, ruthless and terrifying and incredibly well matched for the Batman.
3. The Winter Soldier (Captain America: The Winter Soldier)
Yes… we all know how much I freaking loved the Winter Soldier. I just thought that this was thrilling, the first real offer of a serious villain from the MCU. I mean Loki is good, but I think that they are too inconsistent with his character (as I have said). The Winter Soldier was absolutely badass, hardcore and kitted out in a fantastically awesome outfit with a fearful arm. Brainwashed, angry and an order-obeying super soldier of death, the Winter Soldier was excellent, menacing and scary. Finally.
2. General Zod (Man of Steel)
While I enjoyed Man of Steel, I can certainly acknowledge that there were flaws. Michael Shannon being cast as General Zod was definitely not one of them. Shannon was a master of showcasing Zod to the audience, always lingering on the edge of madness, driven by a mission that is not totally unheard of or crazy, we can understand him wanting to save his race. Shannon keeps Zod’s crazy in check but only just-just, making it a thrill to see how he goes about taking Earth, playing with Clark Kent as well as watching the measures he is willing to go to to stop
1. The Joker (The Dark Knight)
I mean come on… I know people are probably sick of hearing this and all but I don’t give a fuck. What Heath Ledger came and did here was just crazy. He was off his rocker, and brought something insane to the table with his portrayal of the Joker. Unhinged, smart, cunning, sly, manipulative… there are so many ways to continue describing the Joker, but the best would probably be legendary.
The Green Goblin (Spider-Man)
Red Skull (Captain America: The First Avenger)
Two Face (The Dark Knight)
Catwoman (Batman Returns)
Ra’s al Ghul (Batman Begins)
Now that all that is done, while Eric is
bashing at the door working like a slave, I should also mention next on the agenda is that I have a birthday wishlist to present to you fellow readers because, of all the readers out there, you sort of appeal to a specific set of things, and I am thinking that between you all something can be organised. I mean it is a really basic list that can be rocked. So I would like:
a) Sebastian Stan. Whoever organises this I will be eternally grateful to.
b) Bags and bags of Tootsie Rolls (this is directed at you Americans) and boxes and boxes of unfrosted strawberry Pop Tarts.
Star Trek Stardate Collection (it has since been taken care of – I should seriously start writing things down, apparently it works)
d) A massive map of Middle Earth for my lounge. This would thrill me. No end.
e) Joseph to tell me what he thought of The Goldfinch, finally.
f) Heath Ledger’s dramatic rise from the grave. I mean this in the sense of desperately seeking some secretive necromancer that frequents Eric’s site… you don’t even need to tell us who you are, just bring the man back, he was amazing.
g) An interview / meeting with Miguel. There is business and shankings that need to be discussed with him and Dark Cara.
THE SPIDER-MAN DEBATE
On another note completely (again), on Twitter last night there was quite the Peter Parker / Spider-Man showdown between that useless tool that is Tobey Maguire and the new kid on the block, Andrew Garfield. The war raged to the extremes and got insane – but that is not my question. My question is this: who do you, dear and fair readers, prefer and why? Team Garfield or Team Maguire???
Furthermore, who is joining next Wednesday for the next awesome Shitfest Social? I cannot tell you how much fun that is going to be.
In any event, there, I have ransacked and taken over though I have not totally desecrated everything The IPC stands for, and at some stage Eric may
escape return to you fair people, I am sure he is dearly missed!