I remember this movie. I remember that this was one of the last things I ever watched living at my mom’s house. I remember that I liked it. I remember some dirty full frontal nudity. I remember having sex for the first time ever in that house. I remember one time I came home stinking drunk, wobbled in through the front door and screamed “MOM I’M HOME!!!!” and stumbled into my room bumping into every wall. The next morning I found out that mom and her boyfriend were sitting in the living room watching TV when I exploded into the house. I also found out that I was grounded for a month. Everything that I wrote after that second sentence came before I watched this movie but, in the sense of nostalgia, I borrowed this from NetFlix and gave it a watch the other day…. and it pretty much sucked… which, I’m sure, is what XXXXXXX thought when I had sex with her for the first time.
Lance Henrickson has a ridiculously stupid hairdo and growls as he leads the Spanish Inquisition. A couple of young-ish bakers are in LOOOOOOOOOOOVE and they are pure and innocent. One day, at a public burning, the female baker screams for the Inquisition to “STOP, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!” when they attempt to throw a living kid on the pile of burning sticks. Naturally they arrest her, strip her down to look for The Devil’s Nipple, do some probing and throw her in a cell.
The dude tries to come to her rescue but he gets poo-pooed away and then tortured and blah blah blah this movie was pretty stupid. I didn’t remember this part but the pious and holy Henrickson gets smitten with desire and tries to rape the lady but he can’t get it up so he blames it on the devil and cuts out her tongue and she dies. Or something like that. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS, sorry – SPOILERS! LOL – please don’t waste your time with this shit. What else? Oh yeah, The Old Bag and her Marble Rye are in this doozy as a grizzled old witch and I saw her wrinkly, dirty boobs which wasn’t that exciting if I have to be honest with you.
I mean, for real, this is what I felt like sitting through this:
Oh well. SHITFEST SOCIAL TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Isaacs Picture Conclusions 
I thought The Pit and the Pendulum was a Vincent Price movie. O_O?
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There is – and then there is this – a VERY POOR attempt at incorporating a few Poe stories into a shit movie.
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You got grounded for having the decency to announce your arrival? Geez. Sounds harsh.
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My mom was a real ballbreaker.
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Hooray! My first Shitfest Social!!!! I’m soooo excited, I just peed on your blog a little.
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Is that what that smell is?????
I can’t wait!!!
Now let me go get some vinegar and clean this piss up.
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The Spanish Inquisition? I wasn’t expecting that…
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No one ever does!!
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Remember when you used to think that doing jumping jacks before you went inside would somehow sober you up. I guess you blew that theory out of the water
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LOL – I do – that was THAT night wasn’t it??
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I won’t be available for the social, but I am there in spirit.
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😦
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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It was that night. Truly epic. Not only did you bump into every wall in the house but for some reason you decided to yell out, “MOM, I’M HOME.” I can’t believe you got caught 🙂
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XXXXXXX sounds like a very lovely girl, and a saucy wench to bed for your first time.
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HA HA Smash!! I’m sure she loved it…..
#not
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hahahaa, were you drunk and did you announce your presence on top of her? That would have been awesome.
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LOL!!!!! Nope and maybe, kind of….. lol
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hahaha amazing!
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🙂
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It wasn’t a porn lol
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Wow. Is this even worthy of one top hat? Sounds terrible. But YAAAAYYYY SHITFEST SOCIAL!!! I gotta go hunt down a copy of the DVD!!!
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YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!
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I will be rewatching the Corman/Price version on bluray very soon. Forget this one!
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Thorn!! Long time no talk!
Good! This movie sucks balls.
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Another beautiful, poetic and profound review there Eric. It moved me to tears in places.
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LOL – I’ve read that’s a common side effect of visiting this site….
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Dear Chop,
Sounds like a night out on the town! But the kicker of a question… was the grounding worth it?
Love,
JB
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Sounds like the coolest movie, my fave is that list pic. When you came home drunk I bet you thought you were being real quiet too. That’s the best you’re like I got this, I will slide in effortlessly no one will realize I even drank. NOT
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More like The Shit and the Pendudumb!
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Truer words have never been written.
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