This movie is a total piece of shit. The first one was sooooooooooooooooooooo good…. how can this be???? I’ve always kind of liked Tom Berenger but he fucking sucks in this thing. He sits there in a wheelchair the entire movie playing with a fucking deck of cards, barely even acting. He just…. sits there. Occasionally he does some talking and every now and then he moves his head but otherwise, he does nothing. And he’s the central fucking character. Apparently he’s been around for SOOOOOOOOO long in the FBI (or something) and he’s got SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much information in his head from working behind a desk for SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO long, that someone I don’t even remember or care about puts a bounty on his head and a bunch of assorted assassins come around to kill him dead. YAY. I mean this started off kind of good:
We get some quick Nunsploitation and some pedophile priest murder then, we are introduced to more of the fucked up Tremor family (done so well in the first with Chris Pine). The sister is doin’ some fuckin’ and humpity humpity and then she kills the dude and CGI blood splatters all over the screen and she puts out some idiotic one liner like “Thanks for the fuck, now you’re the one who’s fucked” or something and I was really put out with that. No, I didn’t PUT OUT Joseph, I was feeling put out for having to watch that drivel.
There’s a part in this movie where everyone comes together to kill Berenger who’s locked in a bunker under the earth, up to and including Vinnie Jones who you may or may not like… tensions all mount up and then there’s the big “everyone’s pointing a gun at everyone” standoff and then there’s a pretty extensive bar shoot out that was actually pretty cool. But that was it, the rest of this was total bullshit. The acting was terrible, the dialogue sucked and it was a monumental fucking waste of time. And…….. wait for it…… THERE’S NOT EVEN ANY BOOBS……. WTF?
If you’ve ever been interested in this, don’t be any longer and forget this movie existed. See this picture below? That’s an actor looking for the remains of dignity that Smokin’ Aces the first ever had.