Remember this one?? I remember the first time I saw this I didn’t really like Denzel Washington. Thinking about it, I don’t really know why. OH!! I HATED that fucking Training Day movie!! I think I resented him winning best actor for it and was mad about the whole thing. FUSS FUSS FUSS. CRY CRY CRY. But I gave this a watch years ago and I fucking totally loved it and I sat down and watched it again the other day and it’s still pretty fucking good ten years later. The only thing I didn’t care much for here is Tony Scott’s increasingly jittery and brain seizing cinematography. Oh, and Marc Anthony. I don’t know who’s worse, him or John Leguizamo. Barf.
Never heard of it? Washington plays some sort of washed up Ex-Military who takes a job as security, hauling young cutie Dakota Fanning around. One day she gets kidnapped and he gets shot and, after he recovers, he sets out to get her back, leaving a trail of bloody corpses in his wake. Also to note – this movie was banned in North America for the explicit butt sex he has with Mexican prostitutes and that deep throat Blowie he gets from Radha Mitchell.
Just kidding about that last part – was wondering if anyone was actually reading this. I’m still surprised at how violent this movie is, being mainstream and all, but it is and I liked it! And it turned me into a Washingtonian. I also like how I just spelled “into” as “inot” about ten times before I used the auto-correct. I also like how I’m really hungry and have a conference call in 16 minutes. I better go get something to eat. Be right back.
I’m back with a bowl of pasta salad and a fruit punch powerade. Lunch of champs, eh? See this picture below. In this scene Washington is explaining to this gentleman that he is going to insert his erect penis into that man’s butthole and thrust inside of him for exactly 7 minutes. He is then going to release a large amount of ejaculate onto his hairy back and use it as shaving cream to tidy that fucking mess up. 
Am I kidding on the last one??? Is he really going to shave that man’s back?? Or is he explaining how to read an analog watch??? Did I really use the word ejaculate??? Are these really my search term hits for today????
| boobs fucking | 2 |
| prom night iii the last kiss 1990 movie | 1 |
| grab her boob | 1 |
| f is for fart | 1 |
| nude in wrong turn image | 1 |
| megan mullally boobs | 1 |
| https://isaacspictureconclusions.com/2014/02/09/shitfest-2014-winter-zombie-ass-toilet-of-the-dead-2011/zombie-ass-pic-2/ | 1 |
| wrongturn movies sex photos | 1 |
| rachel nichols getting fucked | 1 |
We’ll never know I guess!!! Or do we????
#boobs
P.S. There’s a fun looking movie called All Cheerleaders Die coming out on VOD today. You all know how much I love a murdery cheerleader movie!! This looks right up my alley!! WHOOP!
Dear Chop,
I really like Denzel Washington. I am glad you got on board with that. He is cool. I might have to see this again, it has been years but it was a good one!
By the way, DAMN you have some sketchy search terms…
Hope the movie is worth it!
Love,
JB
LikeLike
Dear JB,
Yep – he’s pretty good after all! I’m glad about that too 🙂
I know…. pervy googlers
I’m gonna go rent it right now 🙂
Love,
Chop
LikeLike
Dear Chop,
WHOOP!
That’s like… shocking! I don’t EVER get searches like that! (I lie… occasionally for the boobs/underwear, and that was YOUR crush list that brought them to me!).
Keep us in the loop! Hope it gets you back into a good place, considering how your morning started and all!
Love,
JB
LikeLike
Dear JB,
That’s HILARIOUS that my list brings you those searches…. HAHAHA!!!!
I hope so too – I don’t see it on iTunes like they said it would be 😦 what a day already!! 😦
Love,
Chop
LikeLike
Dear Chop,
I swear it shocks me sometimes and then I remember.
… what the hell… this day is not shaping up like it should have. What time was it supposed to be up and available?
My love,
JB
LikeLike
Dear JB,
Who knows – I never know what’s going on. I DM-d them, it just takes forever to download here.
Hopeful,
Chop
LikeLike
Dear Chop,
That is so not cool. I hope they get cracking soon so you can get it organised soon. Why does it take so long to download?
Love,
JB
LikeLike
Dear JB,
They got back to me and said it would be up sometime today. I hope it’s early or else I won’t be able to watch it until Monday 😦
Fingers Crossed,
Chop
LikeLike
Dear Chop,
Here’s to crossing EVERYTHING that is comes up sooner rather than later!
Uncomfortable,
JB
LikeLike
Dear JB,
THANK YOU!!!!!!
Keeping my eye on the prize,
Chop
LikeLike
hilarious review my friend. saw this a few years back and enjoyed it. When I was reading your review and I came to the part about it being banned, I did a double-take thinking that maybe I hadn’t seen this.
Ya got me on that one my friend 🙂
LikeLike
Just seeing if you were reading!!!
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I ALWAYS read your stuff 🙂
LikeLike
FANTASTIC!!
LikeLike
Haha! Great post, bro. With those search entries, I reckon you’ll be running a fully fledged hardcore porn site in no time. 🙂
Oh, and Man on Fire was good stuff from what I remember.
LikeLiked by 1 person
HA HA!! Thanks, Muckers!!
Boat Drinks!
LikeLike
grab her boob
GRAB HER BOOB
LikeLike
LOL Dave!!
LikeLike
I totally fell for that Radha Mitchell deep throat thing. I was like: I don’t remember that. RENT! And now I have just rented a movie without BJs, so thanks for nothing. Hmph! Lol
LikeLike
HAHAHAHA!!!!!
(Sorry)
LikeLike
I guess now you will just have to settle for story and character development. 🙂
LikeLike
What? Who goes to movies for that?
LikeLike
NOT ME!!!
#boobs
LikeLike
Everyone – except you and Isaacs!! And Brian who only likes movies featuring a world run by apes! 🙂
LikeLike
I believe Luke likes apes too…..
LikeLike
I can’t believe you hated ‘Training Day’ … Come on, you know it was actually a pretty good film 🙂
LikeLike
I did…. it’s true…
LikeLike
Denzel is my favorite actor and I thought Training Day was terrible; he didn’t deserve an Oscar for that role – particularly over Sean Penn in “I Am Sam” or Russell Crowe in “A Beautiful Mind”. If one was to watch these 3 films, Denzel’s performance is not in the same ball park as the other two. Denzel is as talented as they are, in some cases more, but the Training Day role was just very mediocre where Sean Penn was phenomenal in I Am Sam and really came out of himself to embody Sam.
Very annoying that Denzel didn’t even get a nomination for “Man on Fire” or “John Q” which were far superior performances. Some speculated that the Academy basically tossed Denzel a bone for Training Day to make-up to him not winning the Oscar for his “Malcolm X” performance in 94. But I don’t know how the Academy or movie-watchers figure he was slighted considering he lost the Oscar to Al Pacino in “Scent of a Woman”. So, I guess the Academy makes it up by CLEARLY slighting Sean Penn; but then making it up to Sean and giving him the award 2 years later for “Mystic River”. Anyone who thinks the Academy isn’t a political game is delusional. I’m not saying they don’t get it right a lot of times b/c they do, but there’s a fraction of the time there’s a political play at-hand that robs better-deserved nominees. The same year Denzel won the Academy for Training Day, Halle Berry beat Nicole Kidman and Judi Dench for the Oscar. I guess the Academy figured they would alleviate past racist allegations by awarding the Oscar to a couple African Americans, in spite of the fact their particular performances did not even deserve a nomination – let alone an actual win. This is why so many of us put so little stock in the Academy Awards, even though as movie-lovers we should be excited about it. But the Academy has its few pets it hand-picks for whatever reason and then promotes them; like Bradley Cooper, who gets nominated for something EVERY year! lol. He’s a good actor and I can see a nomination at times, but not every year. He deserved a supporting nomination for “American Hustle” over James Franco for “Spring Breakers”? I just don’t get how Franco was slighted like that; he came out of himself and completely embodied an entirely different-demeanored character. But I guess Bradley Cooper got the nomination over him b/c he dressed up like he was attending a bad Halloween party. And b/c the Academy favors him to a fault.
LikeLike
I love John Leguizamo. But he’s still not gotten back to me on if he’ll star in Peniswormnado.
I don’t know why I haven’t gotten around to watching this yet. I always watch action-y things starring Denzel. And he was great in Training Day! Lol – those search terms are fairly mild compared to some that I see you get. ; ) “f is for fart” is my FAVORITE!
LikeLike
Do you need me to go find him and punch him in his nuts??
I’m also surprised you haven’t seen this one – it’s good!
You’re very anal.
LikeLike
Leguizamo is a talented actor, but he plays some really annoying characters at times. I thought his character was terrible in “Spawn”. But when John settles down and really acts, he’s good.
LikeLike
Glad you wrote about this one; good to see it getting some recognition. It seems MOF often goes overlooked and forgotten for some reason.
Hopefully “The Equalizer” which has a similar plot, will be one worth seeing at the theater when it comes out later in the year. Denzel is one of the best actors to watch when he takes on the right roles. Did you see “John Q”?
LikeLike
Thanks, Gary!
I think I might have seen some of it back whenever it hit cable. I remember it vaguely but don’t remember how it ended or anything so I don’t think I watched it all.
LikeLike
“John Q” is worth a watch if you’re ever in the mood for a good drama/thriller. Denzel is excellent in the role.
*Also, have you seen “Inside Man” with Denzel Washington and Clive Owen? I loved the ending; very slick. I actually didn’t care for Denzel’s character in this one, but was much more fascinated by Clive Owen’s character. He played a pretty intriguing antagonist. WillIam DaFoe and Jodie Foster are also in it.
LikeLike
No I haven’t – I might look that up.
Say – isn’t A Friend Like Harry French? I am looking for something to do later before a LATE conference call but I don’t feel like reading anything.
LikeLike
Yes, it’s in subtitles, so you will definitely want to watch when you’re energized. I know what you mean. That’s why it took me so long to watch “Julia’s Eyes” b/c usually late at night I’m too tired to read the screen and will fall asleep. Have to watch foreign films early.
If you’re looking for a good one to watch later, “Inside Man” may suffice. What are you in the mood for??
LikeLike
I think I am going to rent this Sci Fi thing called The Machine….
LikeLike
Oh okay, let us know if it’s good.
LikeLike
Will do 🙂
LikeLike
BTW, did you see “Book of Eli” with Denzel, Gary Oldman and Mila Kunis? I think you’d like it, but I’m not sure you’d dig the ending. It’s a very violent movie in a post apocalyptic world, but it has a Christian theme. I liked the ending, but a lot of people (i think mostly non-Christians) didn’t like it. I think some feel the ending felt out of context with the rest of the film, but I think it made perfect sense. I actually thought it was genius. Not sure you’d like the ending, but I think there’d be enough throughout the film you’d like to give it 3 top hats, possibly 4.
LikeLike
I actually liked that movie quite a bit until the very end. That ending just doesn’t make any sense!! I’d give it 4 without the end 🙂
LikeLike
Well, from what I understand, the book Eli carried around was the last written Bible; Gary Oldman wanted the book b/c he wanted to study it and twist the context of the scriptures to manipulate and control people – and if he had the ONLY copy then people couldn’t go and read the scriptures and learn the true meaning and context of the book.
Eli had to get the last print to a press shop so that the book could be distributed to the world and people could read it and learn it for themselves. When being distributed it would help offer hope in a hopeless, post apocalyptic world.
So, it makes sense – but the tone does dramatically shift and I think it throws people. We go from a hopeless, dark world to a world suddenly full of hope. It’s really a metaphor for life without God – and then how life is with God – which is why the tone shifts so dramatically.
LikeLike
No no – none of that bothered me at all – that stuff doesn’t bother me – what bothered me was that he was blind.
LikeLike
I actually forgot he was blind. I think it served the purpose that God was literally with him and guiding his steps – which would explain why he was never harmed. I think the story is supposed to be conceptual and metaphoric.
LikeLike
It’s still early but this The Machine movie is FANTASTIC
LikeLike
Good deal; maybe the other movie’s delay was a blessing in disguise. Let us know how it is when it’s over.
LikeLike
DUDE – that movie was FANTASTIC!!!!!!
LikeLike
I typically don’t get into sci-fi, but if you strongly recommend I will give it a try; the draft is tonight but I will try to get to it this weekend when I get a chance. My movie watching has been suffering the last few weeks due to all the great NBA games. I’m always on the prowl for clever movies that go against the grain, so looking forward to giving it a go.
LikeLike
Let me know how All Cheerleaders Die is!?!?!
LikeLike
I sure will!! It seems they’re having some trouble getting it up on iTunes so I might not be able to watch it until tomorrow 😦
LikeLike
“…having some trouble getting it up…” Is no one gonna touch that? Really? Oh please, allow me…
PHRASING! BOOM!
LikeLike
BAM!!!
You’re back! With a vengeance!!
#cantgetitup
LikeLike
Well, I’ll never be able to enjoy this movie now knowing that they could have included explicit butt sex and deep blowie scenes and didn’t.
LikeLike
Smash!!!
PSSST: the director’s cut…….
LikeLike
If only they had included that in the theatrical cut, Denzel would have won an Oscar for this role!
LikeLike
LOL I see you are keeping the word blowies alive oh yeah! Shhh cant tell anyone its from Real Housewives. Those search terms are hilarious… like someone is out there typing that and looking for it. lol #blowies
LikeLike
I owe it all to you!!! HAHAHA!! LOL!!!
#blowies
LikeLike
you could connect this with your post before this one…#blowiesforbowie
LikeLike
HAHAHAHAH!!
LikeLike
Happy Friday Eric!
LikeLike
Happy Friday to YOU!!
LikeLike
I’ve never seen this film. Does a man ever catch fire or is that just a really misleading title? If I saw this in the cinema and a man wasn’t literally on fire I would ask for my money back. I’m really surprised that ‘megan mullally boobs’ isn’t higher on your search terms list!
LikeLike
No one catches on fire….. 😦 😦
I know – I am patiently waiting to be the only one in the world to collect from that search term.
LikeLike
Anna!! Look!! Today:
megan mullally titts 1
LikeLike
One step further towards world domination!
LikeLike
And her boobs!
LikeLike
This is a very formulated ‘revenge’ movie we have seen in various forms 100 times before. But, Denzel moves it up quite a few notches and makes it a great movie. If you think “I don’t like these types of movies” you should make an exception for this one
LikeLike
YEP!! 100%!
LikeLike
Tony Scott got a lot of shit thrown at him, but this is one of his highlights. Don’t get me started on Domino though.
LikeLike
Yep – Fucking Domino was terrible.
LikeLike
“F is for fart?” Be honest–did you Google yourself??? 😉
LikeLike
HAHAHAHAHA!!! 🙂
It’s funny – I can never find my site by googling these terms…?
LikeLike
Really?? Huh. Who knows what kind of shady venues they use to find you…
#mostunclean #ishuddertothink
LikeLike
#mostuncleanindeed
#wtf
LikeLike
F is for Fart? I don’t remember that one on Sesame Street.
LikeLike
You don’t?? It’s the one where Burt finally seals the deal with Ernie.
LikeLike
Oh yeah! Now I remember. Boy, when Burt brought in the pigeons it got real creepy.
LikeLike
I know…….. MY EYES!
LikeLike
It’s been ages since I last saw this movie, but I remember it being very thrilling.
LikeLiked by 1 person