Isaacs Picture Conclusions

ROAD TO PERDITION (2002) FOUR TOP HATS

ROADP1I realize  this isn’t the type of movie you normally find out here so I hope no one is alarmed but I do actually watch a lot of mainstream stuff, I just don’t normally write about them because most other people are and they do much better work than I do. I think we can all agree that I’ve set the bar pretty fucking low for future generations of people who want to do some movie writn’ but I keep at it anyway. I’ve been unusually busy at work lately so I haven’t had much time to do some shitty movie watching – it took me three days to get through this and almost a week to finish SCARFACE. Oh well, it is what it is and we do what we must, right? “Forever Vigilant” that’s my motto and when I croak will someone please engrave “HE TRIED” on my head stone?? Anyway, I watched for the dozenth time recently and I still like the fuck out of it but what can I say that hasn’t already been said??ROADP2Nothing, probably. I thought all of the acting in this was absolutely excellent and the sets and the costumes and the action and the revenge and the music and the telephones and the automobiles and the guns and everything were really good. I even liked the part about the poached egg. The only thing I don’t like? The end. Not the end-end but that part in the beach house. I wish that would have gone a different way. I also wish that I didn’t have a cold and that Parks and Recreation wasn’t getting worse each season. I also wish that TRUE DETECTIVE never ended and that they didn’t cancel CARNIVALE after two seasons and that I could eat ice cream without having to take FOUR lactose pills.ROADP3Further, I wish that I had never seen that live footage of Queen playing Stone Cold Crazy when Freddie Mercury’s ball popped out of his short shorts and that I wasn’t allergic to anything that pollinates and that I didn’t have to blow my nose 1000 times a day. I also wish that my eyes weren’t going bad and that my knees didn’t hurt all of the time and that the Brewers would win a playoff game and people who stick Oklahoma State Posse stickers on their rear windshields would quit almost causing wrecks and just give up on driving for fucking ever already get off the fucking roads!!!!! I also wish that I hadn’t watched THE KILLING GAMES and that there wasn’t a snake in my house on Easter morning and that every fucking Tuesday the deli in the building I work in didn’t ONLY offer up greasy fucking tacos for “Taco Tuesday” and that meatloaf was outlawed in the United States.ROADP4Oh yeah…. the movie!!! What a dumbass I am!!! If you want to read something that goes into what this is about instead of the gibberish of a lunatic, check THIS OUT! There’s much better words to be read there. Me? I’m just a fool. And you know what, here’s a PSA for you for the week: Grapes really aren’t that filling, FYI. Orange juice, yes. Grapes, not so much.ROADP5One last thing – about this movie. There’s a part (no spoiler) where Hanks comes running in because he thinks Craig is going to kill his son. Well, Craig messed up and killed Hank’s wife and OTHER son. He comes running in the house and the not dead son is sitting in a dark room and kinds of points to the stairs with his eyes. Hanks goes running up the stairs to the bathroom while the camera stays focused on the kid. We hear him run down the hall and then stop and wail in agony seeing his dead wife and kid. It’s fucking masterfully done! I also fully wish that this last paragraph didn’t suck so bad. I’m terrible!

I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT WEEK!!

70 comments

  2. movierob

    btw, I cant take those lactose pills cause they make me feel really bloated, so I just stay away from dairy. been doin that for abt 15 years (unless I wanna have a reason to call in sick to work) 🙂

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  4. Zoë

    Dear Spock Chop,

    I love this review and your wallowing and wandering to other places. I think you put in here what you really liked, and I am with you in that. I thought this movie was really good, love the review!

    Love,

    JB

    PS: I hate the sinus thing so much 😦

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  14. Abbi

    I am deeply sympathetic of your pollinates suffering. I have it too… along with about 50 food allergies. It sucks balls. I can’t comment on the film though because I haven’t seen it.

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    • theipc

      I HATE ALLERGIES!! That sucks about food allergies…. I’m only allergic to cinnamon… but that’s OK because I don’t like it…

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  16. caragale

    Hi, Eric!!! I haven’t seen much of this movie, but somehow I’ve seen that end that you’re talking about, which makes me less inclined to watch…but maybe I will someday. And I’m sorry about all of those things. BRING BACK CARNIVALE!!!!

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  19. table9mutant

    You mentioned the music! Yay!!! : ) This was a really good movie but I don’t remember as much now other than the score, which is from Thomas Newman (I go on about him all the time. You’ll know that if you truly do read every word I write). ; ) I should watch this again sometime… I like when you like good mainstream stuff. : )

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  20. snapcracklewatch

    I think it read.. “He tried and he liked boobs”…funny post! I also wish Carnivale was not cancelled, I wonder why they added an E to the end of that word? Parks and rec I am over that show, True Detective I often think of Rust and wonder what would he do in this situation?

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      • theipc

        REALLY??? That’s: PRETTY FUCKING COOL!!

        P.S. Do you have any…. um…. well, I… um… er…. I uh…. nudes???

        My friend is asking.

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      • The Critical Cinephile

        HA HA! Tell your “friend” no I don’t. But at the time she was only like 27 years old and on the first day of class we all thought she was the teacher’s aide. When she stood up and introduced herself, we were all like, “WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!” Girl is fine!

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      • theipc

        Sherri Coale is goooooooooooooooooooooooood lookin’!

        I would totally do a “boob” post about her if I could find pics of her not wearing a pantsuit. : ) You know, for my friend.

        Like

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