I realize this isn’t the type of movie you normally find out here so I hope no one is alarmed but I do actually watch a lot of mainstream stuff, I just don’t normally write about them because most other people are and they do much better work than I do. I think we can all agree that I’ve set the bar pretty fucking low for future generations of people who want to do some movie writn’ but I keep at it anyway. I’ve been unusually busy at work lately so I haven’t had much time to do some shitty movie watching – it took me three days to get through this and almost a week to finish SCARFACE. Oh well, it is what it is and we do what we must, right? “Forever Vigilant” that’s my motto and when I croak will someone please engrave “HE TRIED” on my head stone?? Anyway, I watched for the dozenth time recently and I still like the fuck out of it but what can I say that hasn’t already been said??
Nothing, probably. I thought all of the acting in this was absolutely excellent and the sets and the costumes and the action and the revenge and the music and the telephones and the automobiles and the guns and everything were really good. I even liked the part about the poached egg. The only thing I don’t like? The end. Not the end-end but that part in the beach house. I wish that would have gone a different way. I also wish that I didn’t have a cold and that Parks and Recreation wasn’t getting worse each season. I also wish that TRUE DETECTIVE never ended and that they didn’t cancel CARNIVALE after two seasons and that I could eat ice cream without having to take FOUR lactose pills.
Further, I wish that I had never seen that live footage of Queen playing Stone Cold Crazy when Freddie Mercury’s ball popped out of his short shorts and that I wasn’t allergic to anything that pollinates and that I didn’t have to blow my nose 1000 times a day. I also wish that my eyes weren’t going bad and that my knees didn’t hurt all of the time and that the Brewers would win a playoff game and people who stick Oklahoma State Posse stickers on their rear windshields would quit almost causing wrecks and just give up on driving for fucking ever already get off the fucking roads!!!!! I also wish that I hadn’t watched THE KILLING GAMES and that there wasn’t a snake in my house on Easter morning and that every fucking Tuesday the deli in the building I work in didn’t ONLY offer up greasy fucking tacos for “Taco Tuesday” and that meatloaf was outlawed in the United States.
Oh yeah…. the movie!!! What a dumbass I am!!! If you want to read something that goes into what this is about instead of the gibberish of a lunatic, check THIS OUT! There’s much better words to be read there. Me? I’m just a fool. And you know what, here’s a PSA for you for the week: Grapes really aren’t that filling, FYI. Orange juice, yes. Grapes, not so much.
One last thing – about this movie. There’s a part (no spoiler) where Hanks comes running in because he thinks Craig is going to kill his son. Well, Craig messed up and killed Hank’s wife and OTHER son. He comes running in the house and the not dead son is sitting in a dark room and kinds of points to the stairs with his eyes. Hanks goes running up the stairs to the bathroom while the camera stays focused on the kid. We hear him run down the hall and then stop and wail in agony seeing his dead wife and kid. It’s fucking masterfully done! I also fully wish that this last paragraph didn’t suck so bad. I’m terrible!
I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT WEEK!!
nicely done Eric.
Gotta re-watch this one one of these days 🙂
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Thanks! This one’s pretty good 🙂
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Dont remember it that well. Too bad u spoiled a scene again. 😦
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😦 😦 😦 😦 😦
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btw, I cant take those lactose pills cause they make me feel really bloated, so I just stay away from dairy. been doin that for abt 15 years (unless I wanna have a reason to call in sick to work) 🙂
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I understand…. I just LOVE ice cream so much…. 😦
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I have over an hour commute to and from work so I can’t allow myself to love it that much. Not enough gas stations along the way 😀
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LOL!! I know that feeling!!
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Eric, you could write an article with every word misspelt and we would still cherish every word.
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You’re so sweet to me.
#probe
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Dear Spock Chop,
I love this review and your wallowing and wandering to other places. I think you put in here what you really liked, and I am with you in that. I thought this movie was really good, love the review!
Love,
JB
PS: I hate the sinus thing so much 😦
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PPS: I love that scene where the kid asks Tom Hanks for his share, gets his two hundred bucks and then wonders if he could have asked for more and gotten it. HA!
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I know!! Out of the blue – some comedy!!
🙂
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It was unexpected but it worked wonderfully!
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🙂
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Dear JB!!!
I miss our conversations over the weekends 😦
I liked this movie quite a bit 🙂
GOD DAMN they’ve been really bad this weekend too. It rained last week so everything is blooming and it’s awful. Cross everything that I make it through….
Love,
Spock Chop
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Dear Spock Chop,
OMG OMG OMG YOU LIVE!!! I missed you!!!
It was really cool!
Sherbet… I am crossing everything for you Chop, that really sucks. So not cool. MEH.
Love,
JB
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Dear JB,
I made it through the weekend and here we are again at fucking work.
CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY
Love,
Spock Chop
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My kindest Spock Chop,
;( NOOOOOOOOOO! Mondays I tell you.
CRY CRY CRY.
My sympathies,
JB
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Saddest JB,
It’s HORRIBLE here today.
SO SUCKY!!!
Love,
Sad Chop
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Interesting ‘Fucking’ review about yourself. Only a few lines on the movie, and I read the whole thing.
Ha!! It was fun though.
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LOL!! You’re new around here… that happens occasionally…
Thanks for reading!!
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I wrote a review on this a while back. Wasn’t as wild about it as you are.
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I’ll go check it out 🙂
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I wish Paul Newman had a gypsy’s curse put on him back in the ’70s were he was immortal and had to be in every movie.
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Maybe R.O.T.O.R. can use his AI to go back in time and make that happen.
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R.O.T.O.R. has Sensor Recall but he considers necromancy a crime.
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Was this post meant for the rant site instead? lol, you sure do have a lot to gripe about! (and it is awesome)
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HA!!! Probably, huh? Sometimes there’s no telling with me….
#touchedinthehead
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I really need to re-watch this, it’s been too damn long…
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DO IT!
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Hilarious read as always Eric! And a very good film too. I feel your pollen pain.
Adam.
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Thanks Adam!!!
Fucking allergies!!!!
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What’s wrong with meatloaf?
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It’s disgusting. I had to make pounds of meatloaf in that restaurant every day for years. Fuck that shit.
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It’s better than something like liver and onions or quail eggs
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It MIGHT be better than that place you took me to lunch at after I worked for you that one day as my payment.
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I thought you said that those were the best pork chops you’d ever had 🙂
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Fucking bullshit you cheap bastard.
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I am deeply sympathetic of your pollinates suffering. I have it too… along with about 50 food allergies. It sucks balls. I can’t comment on the film though because I haven’t seen it.
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I HATE ALLERGIES!! That sucks about food allergies…. I’m only allergic to cinnamon… but that’s OK because I don’t like it…
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. . . I think you’re just using allergies as an excuse. . . . . .
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I think you’re…………………. bananas!
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Hi, Eric!!! I haven’t seen much of this movie, but somehow I’ve seen that end that you’re talking about, which makes me less inclined to watch…but maybe I will someday. And I’m sorry about all of those things. BRING BACK CARNIVALE!!!!
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This one isn’t bad if you have nothing else to do, for sure. I actually kind of like it 🙂
I WISH!!!
#iwish
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One of my all-time favorite films. Love the score as well, so much emotion. Great review, man!
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Excellent!! Thank you, sir!!
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That was equal parts ‘haha’ and ‘hurrah’. Well done Eric.
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Thanks Thomas!!
Watched Blue Ruin the other day…. I give it a “I liked it, but….”
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Oooh, what was the ‘but’?
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Well – I guess it’s no spoiler but – after he got his first revenge, he went tearing off away from the bar in that limo because he lost his keys in the fight. How did he end up with his car again? Did I miss something?
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Ohhhh, you’re one of THOSE guys 😉 haha. Just kidding. I didn’t even notice man! Did he not end up with someone else’s car or something?
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No he goes to their house in the Blue Ruin… it didn’t ruin the movie or anything but….?
I LOVED his friend.
“Here, wipe that blood of of you. He probably has hepatitis!”
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Oh man, shows how much attention I pay!! I really liked it, and yeah his mate was pretty funny. I liked it that you heard a gun shot and then a couple of seconds later the guys head pops open. Great stuff
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Yep – that was GREAT!
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You mentioned the music! Yay!!! : ) This was a really good movie but I don’t remember as much now other than the score, which is from Thomas Newman (I go on about him all the time. You’ll know that if you truly do read every word I write). ; ) I should watch this again sometime… I like when you like good mainstream stuff. : )
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I KNOW you do 🙂 🙂 I read your stuff!!
#stuff
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I think it read.. “He tried and he liked boobs”…funny post! I also wish Carnivale was not cancelled, I wonder why they added an E to the end of that word? Parks and rec I am over that show, True Detective I often think of Rust and wonder what would he do in this situation?
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He’d probably shoot it!!
#shootit
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Well – he’d probably talk a lot about it’s means to exist. And then SHOOT IT!!
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Exactly good one… and he would talk like all this weird existentialism stuff and then have sex with some hot chick and then shoot it.
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LOL and he would probably say “fuck” a lot!
LOL – LOVE IT
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Great movie! But what’s more important: I love the tone of your blog. Nice job!
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HEY!!! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!
I’m about to head over to yours to check things out 🙂
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It takes a true Sooner fan to pick on the Pokes. And now I adore you just a little more! BOOMER SOONER!
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THAT’S RIGHT, BABY!!!! FUCKING OSU POSSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BOOMER SOONER!!!!
P.S. We sure stunk at baseball this year.
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FOR REALS!!!! FYI, Coach Sherri Coale was my senior English teacher. How cool is that!?
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REALLY??? That’s: PRETTY FUCKING COOL!!
P.S. Do you have any…. um…. well, I… um… er…. I uh…. nudes???
My friend is asking.
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HA HA! Tell your “friend” no I don’t. But at the time she was only like 27 years old and on the first day of class we all thought she was the teacher’s aide. When she stood up and introduced herself, we were all like, “WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!” Girl is fine!
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Sherri Coale is goooooooooooooooooooooooood lookin’!
I would totally do a “boob” post about her if I could find pics of her not wearing a pantsuit. : ) You know, for my friend.
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