Has anyone ever heard of this one??? Anyone? Of course you have and you’ve also probably seen it. This came out when I was just getting into my teens and horror movies – and dreaming of maybe, one day, somehow, maybe, getting to feel some boobs. This movie about some Cuban snorting coke and saying fuck every other second didn’t really appeal to me. Horror movies showcasing as many tits as possible was my thing. Of course I’d heard about this for years and knew all about it and everything but I finally decided to give it a go recently. I didn’t love it, but it wasn’t too bad. It sure was fucking long and loud.I suppose there’s no reason to go into what this is about. Who hasn’t seen this, except for me a week or so ago? So, let me try and entertain you with a story from my life. A lot of people who read this site these days weren’t around when I use to do my INTERVIEWS. You can check some of those things out at that link if you like. Or not. Anyway, like I wrote in the intro to my interview with a mysterious, Banksy-like figure named KINDLEMAN, he and I once smuggled our way from Cuba to Miami in the bilge tank of a small fishing boat. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hot and stinky in there I didn’t think we’d make it but, riddled with Scurvy and Hepatitus B, we made it and started a new life peeling onions and frying french fries for a small burger joint in the Cuban District.Eventually we got tired of that fucking bullshit and decided to make REAL money so we brokered a deal with one of the ugliest men in Florida and went to do a drug exchange. I went into the hotel with a guy with the nickname Fish Eyes and things didn’t go too well. Fish Eyes got chopped up with a fucking chainsaw right before my very eyes and it would have been curtains for me too if it wasn’t for Kindleman saving my ass. Because of our narrow and ballsy escape, we got to meet the boss and his wife who I started boning. Boy was she a hot piece of ass! Eventually, i got tired of being a soldier grunt so I built up my own empire and made so much fucking cash you couldn’t even keep it in a bank. Sadly, after crossing a drug lord from another country, I was gunned down in cold blood, ending a life of crime, moustaches, medallions and cocaine. Oh well. This movie was way too long for the likes of me and I spent much of it feeling like Michelle Pfieffer looks in this last pic. It wasn’t bad or anything but it sure made a lot of noise. I got tired of hearing this guys pronounce “man” as “main” very quickly and every time they did it for the next three hours, it was a total teeth grinder. There’s this recurring conference call I have to get on every Friday and the host is always digressing in her thoughts and then says “At any rate”. GOD DAMN I fucking hate it. She probably says it about thirty times over the course of an hour. It drives me INSANE!! FUCK!!