Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SCARFACE (1983) THREE TOP HATS

SCARF1Has anyone ever heard of this one??? Anyone? Of course you have and you’ve also probably seen it. This came out when I was just getting into my teens and horror movies – and dreaming of maybe, one day, somehow, maybe, getting to feel some boobs. This movie about some Cuban snorting coke and saying fuck every other second didn’t really appeal to me. Horror movies showcasing as many tits as possible was my thing. Of course I’d heard about this for years and knew all about it and everything but I finally decided to give it a go recently. I didn’t love it, but it wasn’t too bad. It sure was fucking long and loud.SCARF5I suppose there’s no reason to go into what this is about. Who hasn’t seen this, except for me a week or so ago? So, let me try and entertain you with a story from my life. A lot of people who read this site these days weren’t around when I use to do my INTERVIEWS. You can check some of those things out at that link if you like. Or not. Anyway, like I wrote in the intro to my interview with a mysterious, Banksy-like figure named KINDLEMAN, he and I once smuggled our way from Cuba to Miami in the bilge tank of a small fishing boat. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hot and stinky in there I didn’t think we’d make it but, riddled with Scurvy and Hepatitus B, we made it and started a new life peeling onions and frying french fries for a small burger joint in the Cuban District.SCARF4Eventually we got tired of that fucking bullshit and decided to make REAL money so we brokered a deal with one of the ugliest men in Florida and went to do a drug exchange. I went into the hotel with a guy with the nickname Fish Eyes and things didn’t go too well. Fish Eyes got chopped up with a fucking chainsaw right before my very eyes and it would have been curtains for me too if it wasn’t for Kindleman saving my ass. Because of our narrow and ballsy escape, we got to meet the boss and his wife who I started boning. Boy was she a hot piece of ass!SCARF3 Eventually, i got tired of being a soldier grunt so I built up my own empire and made so much fucking cash you couldn’t even keep it in a bank. Sadly, after crossing a drug lord from another country, I was gunned down in cold blood, ending a life of crime, moustaches, medallions and cocaine.SCARF2 Oh well. This movie was way too long for the likes of me and I spent much of it feeling like Michelle Pfieffer looks in this last pic. It wasn’t bad or anything but it sure made a lot of noise. I got tired of hearing this guys pronounce “man” as “main” very quickly and every time they did it for the next three hours, it was a total teeth grinder. There’s this recurring conference call I have to get on every Friday and the host is always digressing in her thoughts and then says “At any rate”. GOD DAMN I fucking hate it. She probably says it about thirty times over the course of an hour. It drives me INSANE!! FUCK!!

53 comments

  1. Dear Spock Chop,

    So, step up from The Godfather, at any rate? 😉

    Hope that all is well. This has been on my rewatch list for a while. Maybe one of these days… but not anytime soon. So much to do! Nice write up though haha.

    Love,

    JB

    Like

    • theipc

      Dearest JB!!!

      I don’t know – The Godfather seemed to be a better made movie but it was SO boring to me. This one was scratchy and loud but had some boobs and some blood. I guess I liked them about the same.

      I hope everything is going well over there too. Testing time??

      THANK YOU!!

      Love,

      SC

      Like

      • My kind Spock Chop,

        So sorry I was missing today. As discussed it has been lunacy and I am beyond over it haha.

        The Godfather was definitely well made. Did I mention I ordered a box set? 😛

        Yes, the boobs would score some points for the film.

        Not quite yet, starts up next week. Damn…

        My love,

        JB

        Like

      • theipc

        Dear JB,

        Best of luck and good wishes on your exams! Here’s some good mojo: flick flick flick

        🙂

        Love,

        SC

        Like

      • Dear Spock Chop,

        See, this is why you are so fantastic! I’ll gladly take that mojo, as well as you possibly crossing everything uncomfortably for me for a good cause for a few weeks? I can give you the precise days so that you don’t live in perpetual discomfort! 😛

        My gratitude,

        JB

        PS: That totally made me feel like I’d stepped into Spartacus!

        Like

    • theipc

      Please create a meeting maker.

      Can you try and resolve this once and for all with a long term view.

      Please forward this to _________.

      Like

    • theipc

      What can I say….?

      That reminded me of a line in Rocky 2:

      “Rock, what do you think about investing some money in condominiums?”

      “Condomin….?” (confused) “…… I don’t use ’em….”

      Like

  2. garylee828

    I just saw this for the first time a few short years ago, and I only saw it b/c I was at a friend’s house who put it on when he learned I had never seen it; I didn’t want to watch it b/c I typically don’t like gangster type films, but once I started watching it I thought it was pretty good. I especially liked it for Pacino’s iconic performance, and I liked the theme score that plays over the opening credits. A strong performance and a good score goes a long way in a movie. I see this more like a rags-to-riches story than a gangster flick.

    I can see why you may feel it gets a bit redundant, though. It seems to me you were pretty busy during the times of watching it which is why you had to break it down into separate viewing sessions and since you were so busy you probably had some extra stress and when we’re stressed will usually distract us from films that require more attention to detail. Like a couple weeks ago you were looking for a film to watch, but didn’t want to watch “With A Friend Like Harry” b/c it was french and would require reading; you have to be in the mood to read subtitles and give your whole focus. I think when watching Scarface for the first time you need to be focused on it to get the most out of it. It’s a good movie, but it is long and does require one’s attention to grasp everything going on and absorb Tony’s character. I know I can’t hardly watch movies when my mind is distracted, which is why I haven’t watched “The Machine” yet or anything else lately. One month I will watch like 25-30 movies and then the next month only watch like 2-3. lol.

    Like

    • theipc

      All good points but it’s just not my type of movie – I don’t think I would ever like it that much. That scene when he’s in the bathtub is pretty funny though –

      Like

      • garylee828

        Yeah, that’s probably why it took you so long to watch it. I’m into acting, so I think I liked it mostly to watch Pacino’s acting.

        Do you like other gangster films? I’m actually surprised you liked “Road to Perdition” so much, as I thought that one was a bit slow. I need to watch it over sometime, as I was distracted when watching it at the theater; I may like it a lot more now. I have always though “Good Fellas” was overrated. I thought it was okay, but nothing spectacular as others do.

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      • theipc

        I was thinking about your question on the way home. I think I just don’t like mobster / mafia movies… period.

        Like

  3. Yeah… This is okay. Not great. Can see it’s a “classic” to some degree and understand why guys like it as it’s super violent & swear-y & all that. But it’s actually very dated. The Godfather feels far more cinematic & stands the test of time more. Scarface is fine but definitely overrated.

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  4. LOL! Now you said you didn’t quite enjoy it, I can say that I didn’t see it. My boyfriend has it and he only had his first viewing last year, which is surprising seeing as he is a mega Al Pacino fan. So of course, he liked it. But he says that I probably won’t, so I’m in no big rush to see it..haha! Entertaining as always, E! 🙂

    BTW, can I send you my Shitfest writeup in May? If so, I’ll try to get that in by the end of the month…

    Like

  5. Is it just me or has Michelle Pfeiffer only gotten hotter with age? P.S. You weren’t the only one who hadn’t seen this movie…because I still haven’t…shhhhhh don’t tell.

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  6. So you didn’t like this movie so much? Sad news. I bloody love it. So many great quotes in it…

    “Say hello to my little friend!”

    “All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one.”

    “I’m Tony Montana! You fuck with me, you fuckin’ with the best!”

    “In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”

    “This town like a great big pussy just waiting to get fucked.”

    Oh Jesus, I could go on forever. So many good lines. The edited for TV version is absolutely hilarious. For instance, the quote above becomes, “This town like a great big chicken just waiting to get plucked.” 🙂

    Like

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