I really am all about hot pickles. I love em. YUM YUM YUM. I’m also a big supporter of independent film – I’ve even pledged to finance a few of them but they never made their goals on Kickstarter. I’m also a big fan on small casts, little dialogue and a creepy trailer. With all of that going for this one, I was pretty excited… and then I sat there for 88 fucking minutes watching two people trapped in a basement, occasionally talking on a god damned phone. That’s it, my Most Beloveds: two people held hostage in a fucking basement. And every time that mother fucking phone would ring it grated my last fucking nerve – I HATED it SO MUCH!!! UGH. Now I’m pissed off again. I better go calm down.
OK, I’m back with bowl of chicken noodle soup and have regained my composure. Somewhat. I mean – if you’re going to make a movie about two jackasses being held hostage in a basement with no food or water, there had better be something interesting about it. This had nothing. There’s no fucking motivation for why they are trapped down there. Occasionally, a phone with no dial tone (and thus no connection to a landline switch) will somehow ring and Henry Rollins will talk to whoever answers. “Don’t be bad!” He’ll say. “Stop acting up!” He’ll warn. “Don’t be naughty!” He’ll advise. It’s totally stupid.
So, if you can get over the fact that a phone with no dial tone can receive calls, you’ll have to deal with the fact that THERE’S NO FUCKING MOTIVATION for why these people are being held captive. “Why are you doing this to us??” Someone asks. “Did you ever help starving children in Africa?” Rollins answers the question with a question. Really? REALLY?? That’s why they’re down there? I’m not buying it. Also – they go something like 16 days without water. Blogga please.