I really am all about hot pickles. I love em. YUM YUM YUM. I’m also a big supporter of independent film – I’ve even pledged to finance a few of them but they never made their goals on Kickstarter. I’m also a big fan on small casts, little dialogue and a creepy trailer. With all of that going for this one, I was pretty excited… and then I sat there for 88 fucking minutes watching two people trapped in a basement, occasionally talking on a god damned phone. That’s it, my Most Beloveds: two people held hostage in a fucking basement. And every time that mother fucking phone would ring it grated my last fucking nerve – I HATED it SO MUCH!!! UGH. Now I’m pissed off again. I better go calm down.
OK, I’m back with bowl of chicken noodle soup and have regained my composure. Somewhat. I mean – if you’re going to make a movie about two jackasses being held hostage in a basement with no food or water, there had better be something interesting about it. This had nothing. There’s no fucking motivation for why they are trapped down there. Occasionally, a phone with no dial tone (and thus no connection to a landline switch) will somehow ring and Henry Rollins will talk to whoever answers. “Don’t be bad!” He’ll say. “Stop acting up!” He’ll warn. “Don’t be naughty!” He’ll advise. It’s totally stupid.
So, if you can get over the fact that a phone with no dial tone can receive calls, you’ll have to deal with the fact that THERE’S NO FUCKING MOTIVATION for why these people are being held captive. “Why are you doing this to us??” Someone asks. “Did you ever help starving children in Africa?” Rollins answers the question with a question. Really? REALLY?? That’s why they’re down there? I’m not buying it. Also – they go something like 16 days without water. Blogga please.
I hate that I didn’t like this. Oh wait, I don’t. I hated it. You know, aside from his role in FEAST, I’ve never been a big Henry Rollins fan. Fuck on this movie.
Isaacs Picture Conclusions 
And I thought this would be great!! Shit!!
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Boy were we fucking wrong…..
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Dear Spock Chop,
Wow. This looked like it was one of those films to just kick you in the teeth and then walk away.
Love,
JB
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My dearest Granny JB,
This really sucked.
Love,
GRAMPS
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The record for surviving without food or water is 18 days but i think that guy was licking moisture off the walls
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no one will get this but – fuck off arsehole.
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I thought you southerners were supposed to be polite
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Just wait til you get to fucking Texas.
#hillbillysex
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Can’t wait to have sex with a relative while firing an assault rifle in the air!
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This film kind of sounds like a boring version of the first Saw movie. Does anyone chop their leg off in this? Henry Rollins was great in Sons of Anarchy that one time!
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NO! NO ONE DOES SHIT in this movie. NOTHING. BULLSHIT.
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Should have had some more leg-chopping!
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Everything could use more leg-chopping!
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Is this a movie about hot pickles?
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Unfortunately – no. This movie is about nothing.
My hot pickle is more exciting than this.
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Will they be making a movie about it?
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I’m thinking of putting something out on Kickstarter.
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Kickstart your hot pickle. I like it!
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I like how this Wednesday is going!
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wait… what were you saying about Texans a few comments ago?!?
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NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!
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LOL That’s what I thought ; )
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WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!
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stuff like that gets people locked in basements without food or water for 16 days!!!
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I didn’t say anything!!!
#nobasements
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oh btw I tried to watch birdemic on netflix yesterday because if YOU don’t want to watch it it’s got to be really really BAD, but it’s a dvd only and i don’t have the patience to wait for a dvd…
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It looks SO TERRIBLE!!!!
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Henry Rollins is awesome! He banged Peggy Bundy.
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Soup?
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I don’t know. You also said “Hard Candy” sucked and that nothing happened in that one. Which of the two did you like more?
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Definitely Hard Candy –
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I’m with you. Henry Rollins is a pretentious dick.
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AMEN LADY!!
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I love Black Flag but Henry Rollins is a world-class douche. Regardless, I got yer fuckin’ hot pickle right here!
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No shit – and….. YES!!
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Soooooo, you didn’t like it, then?
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HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
NO!!!
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Isn’t that the name of a Deftones song?
My ex totally worshipped Rollins.
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I think so – I’ve been out on them for awhile – they’re a bunch of punks.
Gross.
#turtlehumping
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Supreme Rollins gifwork. Isaacs delivers once again.
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HAHA!! Thanks Tim!!
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“Blogga please” — hahahah!
I think I’ll thoroughly avoid this since masochism is now a thing of the past for me. . .unfortunately.
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Good call, Tom. Good call today.
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Well this sounds dreadfully boring. Better than Birdemic? Moleman? Ergot poisioning?
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This is better than those three things but not better than scurvy…..
#ugh
#dontdoitcaragale
#ididthissoyoudonthaveto
#typingwithnospacesisgettingeasier
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Hahahahaha!
#wevebeenontwittertoomuch
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LOL!!!
#hahahahahahaha
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