Isaacs Picture Conclusions

ENEMY (2013) THREE TOP HATS? FOUR?

ENEMY1

ENEMY…. this was a strange one…. it was veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy slow – deliberately and featured a LOT of Jake Gylllllllenhallllnenen – he plays two roles. It also had some spiders which fucking disgusted me and were symbolic for something or other that skipped over my dumbass head but, it was good. Really good. But so many spiders. Actually, there’s only three but…. FUCK….. Spiders!!! GROSS!! Fucking disgusting. You know – if you look this up you’ll see people saying things about the ending – that it’s fucking terrifying and one of the scariest endings of all time and shit like that… well – it almost made me shit my pants – I’ll tell you that – but is the whole movie worth it? It’s really good but it’s one of those you won’t get on your first viewing – unless you’re unbelievably smart. If you really want to now what just happened you’ll probably have to go read about it like I did. I know that about half way through it I thought “If (THIS) is what’s going on I might get pissed” and it turned out I was right but…. this is a good one. I liked PRISONERS better.ENEMY2

But GOD DAMN is Melanie Laurent hot or what???ENEMY3

Other people have already written much better pieces than I will, so I won’t try too hard. This is a good movie – for real – it’s kind of confusing but overall it’s worth it. Now – because I have fears of things I am going to put a spoiler in here at the end of this paragraph. It’s not like it’s a big movie ruining spoiler like you could put out that ruins the end of Sixth Sense and then you don’t need to see the fucking movie – but I wish I hadn’t seen that last bit because it almost made me shit myself: Here you go: there’s a big, giant fucking spider at the end of it.ENEMY4

GOD DAMN!!!! You know – one compelling reason to see this is her – she does have a few sex scenes and some nude shots. HUBBA HUBBA MEOW PUSSYCAT! OOGA OOGAH!! Where was I…ENEMY5I’m too far gone to remember where I was going with all of this… I need to go take a cold shower….

 

75 comments

  1. Zoë

    Dear Chop,

    Love this write up. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, it was really bizarre. ML is pretty cool. Just wait for Thursday before we talk about cold showers.

    All my love,

    JB

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • garylee828

      Smash, there’s only a spider at the beginning and very end, probably for about a grand total of 30 seconds – and the spiders are metaphors and not to be taken literally; it’s not like Arachnophobia or anything. This movie is more confusing than scary. It’s interesting though and worth a watch to judge for yourself. Don’t let the spiders deter you, though. This isn’t a movie about spiders, but more of a mystery about a man’s identity. It’s uniquely executed. Feels like a David Lunch film. Have you seen “Blue Velvet”? In “Blue Velvet” they show ants as a metaphor, but the film isn’t actually about ants. There are just a couple scenes with ants as they represent something else entirely; such as the case with the spiders in “Enemy”.

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      Reply
      • Smash

        I get that the movie isn’t about spiders, but I can’t look at spiders. They scare the bejesus out of me, metaphor or not, lol.

        Like

      • Smash

        D was watching this show on discovery channel the other night, and I happened to walk through the living room right as there was a HUGE FUCKING TARANTULA on the screen. I screamed and ran away. That’s how scared I am. I would probably just die on the spot if I ever saw one in real life.

        Like

      • theipc

        Have I never told you my story about why I’m afraid of spiders? Or maybe you didn’t see it before we were friends?

        Like

      • Smash

        No, I don’t know why you’re afraid. And I never questioned it actually, because it’s the most logical fear in the world. People who aren’t afraid of them, have got mental problems man.

        Like

      • theipc

        When I was a kid – my mom got married to the dad who adopted me and we moved into this brand new development. One day my mom picked me up from school and we went to look at our brand new built house. She opened the door and there were dozens and dozens of tarantulas in the foyer. She started screaming hysterically and – not knowing anything other than my mom – so did I and I have been terrified of them ever since…

        Now I need to go change my underwear thinking about that…

        Like

      • Smash

        Duuuuude… that’s the worst story I’ve ever heard. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I can’t… even… wow.

        #tarantulatragedy

        Like

  5. movierob

    I HATED this movie. It was waaay too weird for me and if ya gotta watch a movie a few times to understand the basics of it, IMHO, it just isnt worth the time.

    Glad you liked it and shat your pants (hope you had a spare pair to wear on the way home from work 🙂 )

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    Reply
    • theipc

      You should probably skip this one then and that makes me happy that I’ve done my job!!!!!!! YAY!!!!

      TOOT TOOT

      Thanks Melissa!!

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      Reply
  11. lauren

    Ok now I’m conflicted. On the one hand this film has the lovely Jake Gyllengall in it, but on the other hand it has spiders in it. And spiders just make me go into Indian Jones mode and say “Spiders, why did it have to be spiders!”

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  14. caragale

    I’ve heard good things about this. Maybe I shall watch! P.S. One time last summer, I found a black widow spider on my front porch…ON MY FRONT PORCH. I flipped the fuck out, so I’m right there with you, dude.

    #noprobos

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    Reply
      • theipc

        NO SHIT – I would totally not survive long…

        Last year at my work we had an infestation of scorpions – those are pretty fucking nasty too….

        Like

      • theipc

        Yep – there’s a Catholic (I think) school behind my work and they started building a football field on the land adjacent to us last year and all of the scorpions and spiders and snakes came looking for a new place to live – it was pretty fucking gross.

        Like

      • theipc

        Or The Critical Cinephile…

        I don’t know where you’re located but I am off of Hefner Pkwy and 150th – have you ever seen clouds like that?

        Like

      • theipc

        I use to live off of 36th and Western!!

        Um….. neither I suppose. Maybe if you went outside and looked but I know that would be asking a lot. Although it does seem clearer your way so it might not even be worth the effort.

        #notworthit

        Like

  18. Pingback: Review: Enemy (2013) | The Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger

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