I would like to apologize in advance that the sizes of these pictures vary but it was surprisingly difficult to find large, high res images of the pictures I wanted to convey the piece here. Sorry!
Anyway – by the time this posts I may or may not be back in America, I may or may not be getting raped in my butt in a Mexican prison, I may or may not have died in a fiery plane crash, I may or may not have been eaten by a shark, etc. etc. etc. But I want to put this out anyway. Hopefully you all had a GREAT week last week – I really don’t know what’s coming / came out while I will be gone (how’s that for mixing tenses??!) but I am SURE they were / are going to be brilliant!! So if I’m dead or marooned at sea or imprisoned, at least I’ll have some shit scheduled ahead of time and can potentially let my Rocky series be my swan song(s).
- My prized collection of Doctor Who (Classic) VHS tapes to CARA GALE
- My boxes of Playboys from 1990-99 to BRIAN
- My entire run (both individual episodes and remastered Blu-Rays) of Star Trek TOS to ZOE
- All of those Compact Discs I bought during the 80s and 90s to CINEMA PARROT DISCO
- My New Years Eve Spaceman Hat to TIM
- The bottle of pickles that’s been sitting in the upstairs closet for 11 years to MIKE
- That beveled glass brandy snifter that I use as a shot glass to MELISSA
- My collection of coats (my mom buys me one every year for Xmas it seems) to SMASH because I don’t want her to get cold
- That cabinet I made with my own bare hands to MARK for his whisky
- The other cabinet I made with my own bare hands to JOSEPH for his towels and toilet paper
- That hollow Oklahoma Constitutional Law book to the other MELISSA in my life for her… um…. tobacco pipe and accessories!
- All of those boxes of flavored Italian Ice in my garage freezer to THE CRITICAL CINEPHILE because she lives near me and can get them home before they melt
- My collection of hotel shampoos and hair caps for the shower to ROB because good hair hygiene is key
- My shaving brush and my back up unopened shaving brush boxes to SETH because he’s going to need to shave that beard at some point
- My collection of books on Alternative History to ANNA because I bet she’d like them
- My stack of Sunday “Funny Papers” dating back to January 2009 that I saved to do the crosswords to LUKE because – just because
- My Star Trek Engineering hoodie to TOM – wear it with PRIDE, son!
- My TARDIS mini-fridge and Marvin bobblehead to MR MOVIE
- The coat rack that I stole from my old manager’s office and never returned to ABBI so she can hang her outfits on it
- My third place Angry Birds trophy Mary made for me in 2010 to THREE ROWS BACK
- To LAUREN, I leave my three pair of Star Trek socks. I’ve only ever worn the Science socks so the Engineering and Command colors should be safe
I think that’s about it – I would hate to leave anyone out but time is running short on my departure and that’s about everything interesting I own. If I SHOULD manage to defeat the agent from the Evil Empire or just make it back home safely, I am going to be one hungover fucker from drinking Margaritas and Tequila shots all week. I am also probably going to be sad and crabby and have 2000 work emails to catch up on and several hundred blog posts to go read so I scheduled a week of posts that no one has ever read or looked at all week. But who knows – things could change.
I am scared to death to fly so if I don’t make it back: I LOVED YOU!!!
If I do: I LOVE YOU!!!!
(but not Brian)
P.S. Don’t forget – SHITFEST SUMMER is set to start July 1st 2014. Send in your entries now to get a slot!! If I die, you can also send them to email@example.com who can also schedule and post them and will probably add some hot piece of ass dude’s ass to it.