OK – in a brave fit of Creative Writing – I am going to try and write this review without using the letter “A”. Think it can be done?? Let’s see….
There goes that shit. Oh well. I did really want to like this one – it looked really creepy in the trailer and the poster and – HELLO!!! Katharine Isabelle!! and people going around in fucking gruesome looking masks but…. after a very promising start, this thing just kinds of peters out all the way to the very lame ending that has more holes than that condom Mike used to make The Sex on you. Seriously. Maybe you’ll like this, maybe you won’t but the next set of sentences will describe what really got me a sour puss about this – they might be spoilery but they’re not giving away the end or anything.
What the fuck is the motivation for the fucking bad guys??? This seems like a rip-off of YOU’RE NEXT and, even if it isn’t, at least those animal mask wearing fuckers in “YN” had a purpose. The family here, wearing stuffed animal masks over their heads don’t seem to have a purpose (aside from torturing, killing and chasing people through ponds). In the scene above, when the good guy dad is captured, he’s getting tortured and it goes something like this:
DAD: What have you done to my son????????? I’ll fucking kill you!!!!
MOUSE GUY: (with a very strangely Bane-ish accent) Your son is dead.
MOUSE GUY: Please observe your son (presents a fully living child)
DAD: I LOVE YOU SON!!!!
MOUSE GUY: Tell your son you hate him.
MOUSE GUY: Tell him or I’ll kill him!!!
MOUSE GUY: *Threatens to kill son with garden shears* Tell him he is not loved!!!
DAD: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????
MOUSE GUY: Because you don’t love your son.
DAD: *crying* I don’t love you son. I never did.
SON: CRY CRY CRY
Well – I think that about does it for this post. I was totally disappointed with this thing. I hope everyone has a happy Friday and look for a big Shitfest update this afternoon! If you’re looking for something fun I wrote that’s coming out today – check HERE!!
HI THERE EVERYONE
WHAT UP JB??