OK – in a brave fit of Creative Writing – I am going to try and write this review without using the letter “A”. Think it can be done?? Let’s see….
*cracks knuckles*
*cracks neck*
MI MI MI MI MI MI MI MI
I REALLY wanted – well I guess I fucked that up…. OOOPS!!
There goes that shit. Oh well. I did really want to like this one – it looked really creepy in the trailer and the poster and – HELLO!!! Katharine Isabelle!! and people going around in fucking gruesome looking masks but…. after a very promising start, this thing just kinds of peters out all the way to the very lame ending that has more holes than that condom Mike used to make The Sex on you. Seriously. Maybe you’ll like this, maybe you won’t but the next set of sentences will describe what really got me a sour puss about this – they might be spoilery but they’re not giving away the end or anything.
What the fuck is the motivation for the fucking bad guys??? This seems like a rip-off of YOU’RE NEXT and, even if it isn’t, at least those animal mask wearing fuckers in “YN” had a purpose. The family here, wearing stuffed animal masks over their heads don’t seem to have a purpose (aside from torturing, killing and chasing people through ponds). In the scene above, when the good guy dad is captured, he’s getting tortured and it goes something like this:
DAD: What have you done to my son????????? I’ll fucking kill you!!!!
MOUSE GUY: (with a very strangely Bane-ish accent) Your son is dead.
DAD: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
MOUSE GUY: Please observe your son (presents a fully living child)
DAD: I LOVE YOU SON!!!!
MOUSE GUY: Tell your son you hate him.
DAD: NEVER!!!
MOUSE GUY: Tell him or I’ll kill him!!!
DAD: NO!!!!!
MOUSE GUY: *Threatens to kill son with garden shears* Tell him he is not loved!!!
DAD: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????
MOUSE GUY: Because you don’t love your son.
DAD: *crying* I don’t love you son. I never did.
SON: CRY CRY CRY
Well – I think that about does it for this post. I was totally disappointed with this thing. I hope everyone has a happy Friday and look for a big Shitfest update this afternoon! If you’re looking for something fun I wrote that’s coming out today – check HERE!!
HI THERE EVERYONE
WHAT UP JB??
I’d like to do The Sex to Katherine Isabelle
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Excuse me, there’s a Katherine Isabelle queue over here, Screenkicker! Get in line!
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LOL! Oh well, there was my unexpected laugh for the day!
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She’ll be ready for you boys in about ten minutes…
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The proper terminology is “make The Sex on _______”
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Dear PSC,
Can’t believe I forgot Isabelle off of the Afternoon Delight, she’s hot!
Oki, besides that. You couldn’t have been THAT disappointed, it still scored three top hats! 😛 Just kidding!
Keep me posted on how your day is structured.
Love,
JB
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Well, I didn’t think You’re Next was all that great so I’ll skip this one. ; )
You know, I read a really interesting book where letters are outlawed one by one and the book stops using each of those letters so, by the end, you’re reading it and they’re only using a handful of letters. Not the best book ever but it was very clever and what a great concept. I recommend it to… Zoe! Not Eric. ; ) It’s called Ella Minnow Pea. : )
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You read????
I never learned how….
#whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
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Hmmmm, will check it out, thanks lady!
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Dear SB,
Sorry about not being around today – next week for sure!!
Love,
SSC
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Dearest SSC,
I totally understand it, so don’t fret it too much!
Can’t wait for next week!
Love,
JB
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Stuffed animals on their heads?? That’s creepy all by itself! And, what no boobs in this one? Tell the truth, that’s really why you didn’t like it… LOL
xoxoxo
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LOL
It was mainly that stupid conversation to two men had that soured this fucker for me…. I saw her boobs in American Mary 🙂
XOXOXO
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ha ha, funny review. that is one creepy looking poster, but it does sound like a bad rip off of You’re Next (You’re Next is awesome).
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Yep…..
THANKS!!!
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may i suggest you try writing a review without using Q or Z. You’ll have better luck.
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I’ll give that a go soon!!
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hahahaa, failed on the second word. Nice.
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That’s how we roll here……
#fail
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lol, there’s an a in fail. That’s some next level wit!
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LOL!! I’m awesome!!
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You are!
And I’m drunk on a Friday and I love you! There, I said it. Fuck yeah. BFFs forever.
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And I love you Smash!!!!
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I had a huge problem with that as well. The whole time you’re wondering why they are doing this stupid shit, and in the end they try to come up with some half assed reason. It was all so pointless and completely disappointing.
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YEP…..oh well…..
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I’m going to write this reply without using the letters r, c, k, s, o, u and e, you cocksucker… DAMN IT!!
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LOL (i did it)
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I’m going to try and reply to you without calling you a Frenchman, you fucking Frenchman!!!
OOOOOOOOOPS!
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And I’m going to reply to this reply without using the letters f, u, c, k, y, o, u, y, o, u, g, r, e, e, k, s, o, n, o, f, a, b, i, t, c, h.
I did it!
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Hmmm, maybe I’ll give this a go, sounds decently scary enough :).
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Good luck my friend!!
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I’m skipping this review for now b/c I want to give this one a shot and you know I like going in cold. I will revisit this one day in the distant future. Probably next week. 🙂
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Good luck!! Not sure you’ll love this but I could be wrong…
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Torment Has Three Top Hats. Great name for a movie.
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We should write it!
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We should!
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The poster said You’re Next remake all over it. That conversation you posted: fucking stupid! I can understand your dismay from just that.
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YEP and YEP!!!!!!!
Fucking miserable!!
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This DOES sound like a You’re Next ripoff! Rude.
#illskipthis
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Totally disappointing….
#rude
#goodcallcaragale
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Mouse guy yeah sorta freaky!
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YEP…. movie…. not so much….
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What up Chop
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
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Writing something without the letter A? Yeah. That’ll never work. 🙂
And this is clearly a movie I would not like. I’ll stay away.
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Just because you said that will never work I am going to make that happen!!!
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Good luck. If you pull it off, I send you and virtual props.
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