BY: RAGING FLUFF
The Wicker Man (2006)
or
It’s Not the Bee’s Knees
by
ragingfluff
A remake of The Wicker Man? With Nic Cage?
First, I was all:
Because I was thinking:
and:
and:
and: 
but then I saw:
and I was like:
But I thought “I’ll give it a chance”
There is one great bit:
But most of the film is:
and:
and:
And then there’s the bees!!
Let’s recap shall we??
hilariously shitty Niall!
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HHAHAHAHA!!!! Isn’t this post hilarious???
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cheers, rob.
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Not the beeeeeeeeees!!!
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LOL – this movie was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad!!!
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Haha I love the pic of him on the bike!
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I KNOW!!! I looked all over for a bigger one but couldn’t find one…. 😦
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i know. i was watching it and thinking ‘you’re a cop hot on the tail of kidnappers, and you’re riding a bicycle!’ I was going to make a lame joke that it was an outtake from Ghost Rider.
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Those pics speak for themselves!
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Did we ever find out how it got burned?
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Someone lit his fart….
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Hahaha! Nice. I’ve only seen the one with the boobies, not the bees. Luckily, it seems. : )
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This post is fucking awesome!!!
This movie is fucking shitcrap.
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cheers. i’m glad you liked it. sometimes watching shitty movies is worth it 🙂
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the one with the boobies is brilliant; it has some pretty naff bits, but it’s still an eerie classic. the one with the bees … well, it’s just a shame because there actually was a lot of talented people involved
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This is so funny 😀
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I KNOW – I LOVE this post!!
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Excellent!
“KILLING ME WON’T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMN HONEY!!!!”
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HA HA HA HA!!!
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Hahaha! This is amazing. The original film is so good, shame about Nicolas Cage. Except for that bear costume part, that’s hilarious.
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HAHAHAHA!!! LOVE IT!!!
Simple and SO effective!!
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yes the bear costume was brilliant; also, he socks an old woman and then spin-kicks leelee sobieski into the wall – I abhor violence against women, but that was the best bit in the whole film
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Me too! I’m a super passionate social justice crusader when it comes to violence against women and I still found it hilarious. I felt really bad about it afterwards though. Oh well!
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This movie is absolute garbage; so dull, slow and boring. I left the theater 30 minutes in and went to watch “Invincible” with Mark Wahlberg, where he plays the guy who tries out for the Philadelphia Eagles. I think I made the right choice.
Perfect selection for SF – Great entry! 🙂
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Dude – you didn’t make it until the end?? the end is SO BAD it’s HILARIOUS!!!
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Heck no I was sitting thru that; i only went b/c my friend wanted to see it, but after a few minutes I told him I was out and we should go see Invincible. He stayed for his shitty Nicolas Cage, shitfest deluxe Wicker Man movie and had a shitty night; i left for Invincible and had a good night.
Then he was complaining the next day about how bad Wicker Man was. lol. You can only lead a horse to water.
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LOL!! Nice call : )
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Just how I like my reviews.
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PERFECT, yes??
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Indeed.
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Bueno…
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Great review and oh god yes, this is a truly awful remake of a classic.
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AMEN BROTHER!!
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Great post! I know the original is a classic and I know the remake is totally shitty but I kind of like it anyway. It’s so damn funny. ‘My eyes, oh no, the bees are in my eyes!’ Fucking genius!
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That’s what I was telling Gary – you just HAVE to see the ending….!
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So abysmal it goes full circle and becomes good! Well, maybe not good, you have to see it.
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Laura or Isaacs, if one of you can find the ending that is so funny on Youtube, post it up on here so I can give a watch; as long as it’s not too long! lol. 🙂
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here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gZfUoWZW6A
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You found it? I will give a watch when I get home later! lol. Aw man, I’m not looking forward to this – what have I got myself into!!?? 🙂
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here is the moment with the bees: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1GadTfGFvU
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LOL that was pretty funny!! lol.
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I remember my friend and I watching this with massive hangovers and declaring it jointly the worst film we’d ever seen.
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HAHHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!
HAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
AWESOME!!
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Very blunt approach. I like it. I think Sir Anonymous still leads the pack though.
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LOL!!! Niall this is hilarious!!! Well done, friend. Well done. 😀
#shitfest4eva
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE this post!!
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thanks, cara. mind you, as awful as the wicker man was, i still love nicolas cage; he’s a collection of tics and quirks and eccentricities, but he’s OUR collection of tics and quirks and eccentricities. I wouldn’t want a world without him in it.
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OMG lol! Best movie ever.
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HAHAHAHA!!!!
WHAT????????????!!!?!??!
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Niall, Is that the ending Laura and Isaacs were talking about? I didn’t see any bees. That ending was actually pretty damn depressing.
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The bees actually come a little bit before that… I’m sure you could search “WIcker Man bee scene” and get a hold of it (YouTube doesn’t work here)….
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ok, so is the bee scene what’s so bad? B/c from the link he posted, that wasn’t funny at all. lol.
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I think you have to see them all together. First there’s the bees, then that ending – couple them together and you’ll laugh your ass off.
Or maybe you won’t… it seems the three of us did 🙂
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From the producers of “Dumb & Dumber” and “There’s Something About Mary” comes a new hilarious tale: “Being Burned Alive”!!!
Ebert says it’s the “Feel good film of the year” while EW raves it’s “A time the whole family can enjoy!” (shows Nicolas Cage burning in the flames; a laugh track explodes) LOL.
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LOL!!!
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i`ll try to find the bit with just the bees. SPOILERS to follow: basically, they grab him, put a cage on his head (a nic cage!!) and put bees in it (because, conveniently, he`s allergic to bees). he yells `killing me won`t bring back your damn honey!` Then they put him in the wicker man and kill him …. then six months later leelee sobieski and cage`s old girlfriend go to a cop bar and pick up james franco and jon ritter`s son …. and that`s how it ends …. EXCEPT James Franco then kills her by reciting his poetry 🙂
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Wait, James Franco? Poetry? I’m lost. lol.
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/bookreviews/10942686/James-Francos-poems-hard-to-forgive.html
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No boobs? But bees? Yeah. I’m glad I never saw this. 🙂
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You’re fortunate….
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BWAHAHAHA this was put together really well! Nice job Niall!
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Dearest JB,
Wasn’t this fucking funny???
LOVE,
PSC
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SC,
Extremely!
JB
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SB,
🙂
Also – I am dire need of doing some laundry so I am wearing a pair of socks that came with some shoes I bought about a year ago. I don’t like them at all and I think I’m going to be uncomfortable all fucking day….
😦
Love,
USC
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Uncomfy Spock Chop,
There is nothing worse than uncomfortable socks. People that manufacture them should be shot. To death.
Love,
Almost Free JB
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Most Understanding JB,
I like my socks to come up around my calves. These barely cover my ankles. I HATE THEM.
Love,
USC
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My Most Uncomfortable Chop,
OMG NO! You poor, poor man. That is going to irritate you ALL DAY without fail.
JB
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JB,
I am TOTALLY regretting this decision…
CRY CRY CRY
USC
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USC,
CRY CRY CRY.
JB
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:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
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this is hilarious! I like her approach to the movie review hahahahaha
xoxoxo
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thank you but i’m a boy 🙂
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LOL oops! Sorry about that! : )
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Rather a girly-man, probably.
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hahahah!!! My god, give this guy the trophy now.
This was great.
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ah jesus no, hang on, cheers and all, but there’s tons of great shitfest reviews here, and tons more to come, i’m sure
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On a moderately serious non shitfest note, it’s dead easy to mock nic cage, but i just watched “Joe”, and he’s great in it, and phenomenally restrained. It’s like how you imagine Nicolas Cage would be on Prozac. There are no bees in it, though.
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Simple, elegant, to the point. Good article. You should have just sent the word ‘CAGEEEEEEEEEEEEE!’ in however lol.
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EXACTLY – a BEAUTIFUL entry!!
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hahahaa awesome!
This is the shiftiest entry to beat!
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🙂 🙂 🙂
Love it!!
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