BY: WE’RE ALL MAD HERE
Demolition Man (1993)
Hey! Some of y’all know me, it’s Melissa from wereallmadhere. I don’t usually do movie reviews and since I’ve been unable to narrow down a target for my wrath I wasn’t going to contribute to Shit Fest. But, my husband was watching this movie tonight and I just kept asking myself….WHY.DO.PEOPLE.WATCH.THIS.CRAP!!!! I’d rather watch dust bunnies form under the couch!
So…winner winner chicken dinner, here is my Shit Fest contribution : )
I hope to be long dead before some of the shit in this movie starts popping up in real life. I mean, for fuck sake…what are these people wearing???
OK….maybe this dude wasn’t a good example. I think this outfit was what he chose to wear when he left his house that morning. It just looks too natural on him.
But, I mean really….why all the jacked up hats?
What about these little gems?? Machines that spit out tickets for cursing? Count me the fuck out! I’d be broke or rotting away in jail within an hour.
A boring, uptight, drone like, non-violent society… never going to happen. No guns, yeah good luck with that.
And are they telling me that there will still be obnoxious rednecks driving a red Trans Am with t-tops in the future? GREAT…kill me now. I bet they’ll all have remote starters too.
I really, really, really don’t like Sylvester Stallone. This picture is actually a full frontal nude shot of Stallone (as I discovered while out looking for movie stills on the interwebs) but I figured I’d spare you the trauma since some shit can’t be unseen. Anyway, with all of the steroids that this dude has done in his life; there is NO WAY that photo wasn’t photoshopped.
Then there is Sandra Bullock’s complete lack of boobs (sorry Eric, there really is NO reason for you to ever watch this atrocity).
It gets worse, as if the future didn’t look bleak enough…What do they mean all the restaurants left are Taco Bell?? If all of the restaurants left are Taco Bell, I’ll starve to death. Again, hopefully I’ll be roadkill long before things get that bad.
How do people actually like this movie? No physical contact? No sex? They’d have better luck getting all of the guns out of our homes before that shit would fly. Oh and playing the theme song to the love boat while wearing the virtual sex helmets??? Wow, that’s just disturbing.
Can someone please tell me, what are the 3 seashells and HOW in holy hell is this sanitary??? GROSS
The only good part of the movie was Denis Leary:
yeah, I’m done. This movie doesn’t deserve this much attention.