BY: WE’RE ALL MAD HERE
Demolition Man (1993)
Hey! Some of y’all know me, it’s Melissa from wereallmadhere. I don’t usually do movie reviews and since I’ve been unable to narrow down a target for my wrath I wasn’t going to contribute to Shit Fest. But, my husband was watching this movie tonight and I just kept asking myself….WHY.DO.PEOPLE.WATCH.THIS.CRAP!!!! I’d rather watch dust bunnies form under the couch!
So…winner winner chicken dinner, here is my Shit Fest contribution : )
I hope to be long dead before some of the shit in this movie starts popping up in real life. I mean, for fuck sake…what are these people wearing???
OK….maybe this dude wasn’t a good example. I think this outfit was what he chose to wear when he left his house that morning. It just looks too natural on him.
But, I mean really….why all the jacked up hats?
What about these little gems?? Machines that spit out tickets for cursing? Count me the fuck out! I’d be broke or rotting away in jail within an hour.
A boring, uptight, drone like, non-violent society… never going to happen. No guns, yeah good luck with that.
And are they telling me that there will still be obnoxious rednecks driving a red Trans Am with t-tops in the future? GREAT…kill me now. I bet they’ll all have remote starters too.
I really, really, really don’t like Sylvester Stallone. This picture is actually a full frontal nude shot of Stallone (as I discovered while out looking for movie stills on the interwebs) but I figured I’d spare you the trauma since some shit can’t be unseen. Anyway, with all of the steroids that this dude has done in his life; there is NO WAY that photo wasn’t photoshopped.
Then there is Sandra Bullock’s complete lack of boobs (sorry Eric, there really is NO reason for you to ever watch this atrocity).
It gets worse, as if the future didn’t look bleak enough…What do they mean all the restaurants left are Taco Bell?? If all of the restaurants left are Taco Bell, I’ll starve to death. Again, hopefully I’ll be roadkill long before things get that bad.
How do people actually like this movie? No physical contact? No sex? They’d have better luck getting all of the guns out of our homes before that shit would fly. Oh and playing the theme song to the love boat while wearing the virtual sex helmets??? Wow, that’s just disturbing.
Can someone please tell me, what are the 3 seashells and HOW in holy hell is this sanitary??? GROSS
The only good part of the movie was Denis Leary:
yeah, I’m done. This movie doesn’t deserve this much attention.
Fun flick, underrated because of its stupidity.
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This ISN’T your favorite movie???
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It’s no Last Action Hero.
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Now we’re talking!
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I laugh every time I watch this, but it definitely has its moments of shittiness too.
Very shitty review Melissa!
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Melissa stepped up!!
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LOL thanks!! It’s a truly terrible movie : )
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This movie had potential to be good, but they messed it up with the silly “no violent” society angle. Snipes was a pretty fun villain here and the movie would have been much better had it taken place in modern society and Stallone played a cop similar as he did in “Cobra” going after Simon Phoenix (or whatever the villain’s name was). The futuristic subplot was not necessary and took away from the tension and made this feel almost like a slapstick comedy more than genuine crime thriller, in which it had the potential to be. Such a wasted opportunity. Good entry! 🙂
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I saw this a loooooooooooooooooooong time ago and remember thinking it was really stupid – other than that I don’t remember shit about it….
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Thanks! They totally killed it with the ridiculous non violent society stuff, i agree. The language thing too, i hated the dialogue in this movie… It was just bad all around lol
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Have you seen “Cobra” with Stallone? They should have taken Snipes’ villain and had “Cobra” go after him in modern society; THAT would have been fun.
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Haven’t seen that one. I try to avoid stallone’s movies. I have successfully avoided that one lol
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Great review and as to the lack of boobs, totally agree but I do like this movie. It’s a no brainer movie where I can just watch and grin of happiness. Might help with a lot of alcohol in yr body though because I don’t think I’ve ever seen it sober. Will give it a try tonight. ..
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Good luck, Captain!! Please report back on your thoughts 🙂
Oh – and bring some boobs 🙂
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Will do but just order two beers so maybe that sober look on the movie might have to wait 🙂
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You got it – and I’ll keep the Jager cold 🙂
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Ok watched and ohh I enjoyed. But not sober. Silly Jager, its way to yummy. ..
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Jager will get you in trouble every time….
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You’re a mess!
xoxoxo
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🙂
XOXOXOXOXOXOX
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Umm, I actually enjoyed this film!
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wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut?????
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Yep. Does that make me weird?
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HMMMMMMM….
Let’s bird-dog out the answer in this small questionnaire:
Did you like Oculus?
Have you attended / written for Shitfest in 2014?
Are you short?
Are you sporting a beard even though it’s summer?
Olives: yes or no?
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I haven’t seen Oculus yet.
I’m all over Shitfest like a rash.
I’d say 5 ft 2″ is on the short side, even for a girl.
No beard.
Olives? Hell no! [Yeurgh]
What’s the diagnosis, doc?
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Well,
Looking at my “Isaacs Cumulative Exploration of Weirdness and Behavior Vol. 3, Issue 99 Magazine 08-12-78” it seems like you fall into the “Beautifully Weird” categorization…
You check out!
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Phew, that’s a relief!
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WINNING!
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My husband likes it too… I’d be fine with that if he didn’t make me watch it lol
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This is a great movie. Sorry you didn’t like it, but it was a revolutionary futuristic comedy at the time that knew it was corny and stupid and had fun with it.
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I don’t really remember much about this other than I didn’t like it… I’m going to have to agree with Melissa….
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I didn’t think it was meant to be a comedy, that was part of the problem. Maybe if i drink a bit and try again it might be funny. Maybe lol
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lol too funny! Love Snipes’ overalls those are pretty bad ass!
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OVERALLS ARE NEVER COOL!!!!!
FUCK the 90s!!!!! and the 30s!!!!
#loveyaevenifwedisagreeondenims
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#denimcutoffs?
#acidwash
#distresseddenim #wtfisthat
#momjeans
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HAHAHAHAH!
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I thought it was the 80’s you hate? So, don’t like the 90’s either? You like the 2000-2009 decade?
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LOL – I hate the 80s and the 90s!!! everything got better in 2000 : )
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Didn’t realize you were such a big N Sync fan!
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LOL! No. That’s the year I met Mrs. IPC and life was worth living again 🙂
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Slow dancing to Backstreet Boys?
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rocking to KORN 🙂
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98 Degrees. lol.
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Stop sending me you’re mix tapes!!
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I used to listen to pop all the time back then. lol. Not anymore.
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#LIES
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lol, I used to listen to a lot of N Sync, but I don’t listen to hardly any new music; most of it is just so bad. There are usually only a handful of new songs that come out every year that I like.
The newest song to come out that I like a lot is “Instant Crush” by Daft Punk. I guess that would be pop. I love that track, though; the vibe is really nice. I also love Aloe Blacc’s “The Man” and “Wake Me Up”.
So, I guess I do still like some pop. 🙂 But honestly, I mostly only listen to movie scores. I constantly am listening to Hans Zimmer’s “Dark Knight Rises” and “Man of Steel” scores. *I think Childish Gambino (Donald Glover) is the only current rapper I like.
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*your
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Love overalls but they look horrible on me. I’m so small i end up looking like a kid when i try to wear them. Not exactly the look i’m going for lol
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HAHAHAHA!!!!!
#screwoveralls
XOXOXOXXO
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#agreed
Hahaha
Xoxoxo
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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For me they just never worked, but when I was younger I wanted them so bad. I wanted to be cool, but they just didn’t work I am pretty short too maybe that’s why. I felt almost dumpy in them. Alas we will never be as cool as Wesley Snipes!
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lol nope, that’s not all bad though
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REALLY?! This film is ace. And Bullock is hot too, flat chest or not.
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I can’t believe so many people are saying they like this movie…. is something wrong with the ozone??
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I think it’s loyalty to stallone and bullock and not the movie. At least i hope that’s it. lol
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maybe…. I don’t get it……
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LOL
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No, no, no! This movie belongs in Awesomefest, not Shitfest! 🙂 Nobody cares about Sandra’s boobs because her legs are AMAZING. Here’s some evidence (Sandra enters from backstage at the 1.35m mark to help out Tom Hanks)…
Can’t help you with the three seashells though.
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I think Bullock is a hot piece of ass – but still don’t remember liking this thing….
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Agreed! This movie is so fucking hilarious and awesome.
Now, put this weird helmet thing on and let’s bang!
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Are you propositioning Monkeyboy??????
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Maybe.
Actually yes, I straight up am.
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Will you take pics like you did in your big post today??????
#praysforthefirsttimeinthirtyyears
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Maybe you should direct it? And we’ll take pics of that. Haha, you directing the Demolition Man sex tape!
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UM… let me think about this for just under five seconds…
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Even her legs couldn’t save this movie.
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Wow! That’s a hawt photo of Sandra Bullock!
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I concur.
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I’ve never seen this film and now I definitely don’t want to! Although I am loving Spines’ outfit, nothing more practical and futuristic than puffy overalls!
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I think you’re good passing on this grass….
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I just realised that I spelled Snipes like Spines. My brain is totally fried. Someone said grass?
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I figured it was just auto-correct – that shit kills me every time on my phone….
Do you pass on grass?
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Judging by the disorganised wreck of my thought processes when spelling Snipes like Spines I probably should have passed on a whole bunch of the grass!
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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Skip it! I wish i could unsee it lol
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LOL! Well done Melissa! Haven’t seen this since I was a kid, but not necessarily in a rush to check it out again!
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JB!!
Good call!!
TGMJS
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🙂 I think so too!
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lol thanks! It’s one of those movies that just won’t go away… Kinda like the Rocky movies. LOL
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DON’T say that, you will absolutely CRUSH Eric! 😛
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hehehehe i know, that’s why i said that. He know I love him though lol
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ARE YOU SURE???????????
#wails
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Of course
#totes
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TOTES!!
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Hehe I thought so. Beware. He might get you a Rocky Lego dude to put up by your TV. 😛
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Now we’re talking!!
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LOL that would be hilarious!!
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You may have just invited epicness….
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hahahahahahaha bring it
xoxoxo
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Oh it’s gonna get brought!!
XOXOXOXO
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😀
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This comment has been a morning ruiner…..
#crushed
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Thought so!
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😦 😦 😦 😦 😦
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Hi Melissa – glad to s-
WHAT???????????????
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HAHAHA love you!!!
xoxoxoxo
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:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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I love this film. Watch it every time its on TV. Stop picking good films! 😀
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The trend I am seeing in this comment thread is this:
People from the UK like this movie. No one else does.
🙂
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Haha better taste that’s why 😀
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I’m just weird I guess!!! lol my entertainment standards might need some revising… But that’s not gonna happen.
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I love this film too! It never gets boring! Sly is excellent and Snipes is the best bad guy ever. Any film that has Stallone swearing constantly just so he can wipe his ass is great. This is a classic I will fight to the death to defend it!
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You can have this one, you Irish bastard!!
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Booooo!!! lol it’s bad! Sly is never excellent! Never!
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HMMMMMMM
We may have to revisit our relationship after this comment…..
#stillloveyou
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: (
But… But… But
#loveyou
don’t hate me!
Xoxo
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NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
XOOXOXOXO
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Ok good : )))))))
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Three seashells
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You’re a seashell…. 🙂
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I’m a pretty seashell
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and I’m a little teapot…
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I do like this film okay; it just could have been so much better! So, I can definitely see where some may hate it. I think what makes this film is Wesley Snipes. Very over-the-top, but entertaining nonetheless.
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It could have been good, if it was a totally different movie lol
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I loved this movie when I was 13. I’m not sure I’ve seen it since I was a teenager. I’m almost afraid to watch it again.
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Be afraid! It’s not good. At 13 it’s ok to like it but not now lol
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Nice review, Melissa! Umm… I never actually saw this one. But… I totally want to now after reading the comments. Lol. WTF is with the seashell thing??
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LOL – I’m not positive but I think it’s in one of those clips someone posted earlier 🙂 🙂
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Thanks! : )
They never explain the freaking seashells. Maybe i just dont get it… That tends to happen lol
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Thank you Melissa! Love what you did here! 🙂
And, now I’m know I’m not the only person that doesn’t enjoy this movie. My boyfriend looked at me like I was crazy when I shut this movie off halfway.
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HAHAHAHA!!!!!!
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