BY: MR. MOVIE’S FILM BLOG
Gooby (2009)
Because everyone needs a friend
With this being my first entry into Shitfest, I thought it would be an appropriate time to look at the 2009 family gem, Gooby — how the Academy missed this gold nugget, I wonder? I discovered this turd several years back in one of those shitty DVD bargain bins and was slightly disturbed/intrigued by the terrifying six-foot bear on the cover, who also happens to be the dismally named Gooby, the quintessential nightmare inducing character.
The plot sounds harmless enough as it centres on eleven-year-old Willy (Matthew Knight), who is terrified about moving into a new house with his family — he’s convinced that his new home is filled with evil creatures. Anyway, Willy makes a wish asking for someone to protect him from the frightening foes inhabiting his new quarters and just like that, his favorite teddy bear springs to life and out pops Gooby, a pathetic, life-size teddy bear with the facial mobility of a stroke victim and the mannerisms of a clumsy, drunk — who is rightfully scarier than any wicked boogieman Willy was initially afraid of.
Just one look at Gooby would send most kids — or adults for that matter — running for the hills, as this creepy teddy provides us with a vague idea of what a bear might look like if designed by someone who had never seen a bear in their entire life and was given shoddy illegible instructions to follow. Voiced by Robbie Coltrane, Brave (2012), this bear-suit is so fear inducing; I doubt any normal child would step near it. While our kids cower under their chairs at the mere sight of Gooby, we’re painfully subjected to watching the fat boozer fart, sing and do bad slapstick.

Gooby … not to be confused with Goofy …
Then we have the great Eugene Levy — aka Jim’s dad — sporting a Wolverine hair cut while taking a break from all the boobs on display in those American Pie (1999) flicks hoping to expand his flourishing career by starring in this Canadian horror film … I mean family film, as the ridiculously named Mr. Nerdlinger. A failed writer — now school teacher — Nerdlinger gets a glimpse of Gooby and figures that he can shoot to stardom by simply snapping a quick photo of the bear and handing it over to the media, hence much of Levy’s scenes involve him fumbling around like an idiotic fourth-grader who appears to have no idea how to use a simple camera. Let’s not forget about poor David James Elliott, JAG (1995), as Willy’s dad — I know David James Elliott gotta eat, but I’m sure after glimpsing the unpleasant titular character, Elliott would have preferred to go hungry for a few weeks. The picture’s only slight saving grace is Ingrid Kavelaars, Dreamcatcher (2003), as Elize, Willy’s mother, as she’s actually kinda hot for an older chick!
Things get worse, written and directed by Wilson Coneybeare — yes, I kid you not, his name is ‘Coneybeare’ — this stinker teaches kids to ditch their ‘nerdy’ friends while selling-out in order to become popular and tells parents that the only way to connect with their children is to quit their jobs and bum around at home. Hell, Coneybeare’s messy script has Gooby wandering around town, apparently not afraid of being spotted by public onlookers, adding to the picture’s improbability. Let’s not forget a stupid sequence where the dead-eyed teddy ends up hanging from a construction crane.

… dafaq …
Complete with a terrifying scraggly Scottish orange bear, poor humor and absurd product placement from Quaker Oats, Gooby is the perfect film for no one. A strange flick — although it might serve some purpose if one intends to torture young children or plans on giving others nightmares — Gooby is perhaps the unofficial sequel to Where the Wild Things Are (2009); either way, you’ve been warned.
Reviewed by Mr. Movie
What the fuuuuuuck? This looks far worse than Moshi Monsters! But you totally lose points for “Ingrid Kavelaars, Dreamcatcher (2003), as Elize, Willy’s mother, as she’s actually kinda hot for an older chick!” Lol! She’s 43. Yes, she’s pretty attractive. ; )
LikeLike
Hahaha … Well, she’s older when compared to me :p As for ‘Gooby’ I thought it was a joke until I started watching it and realised the filmmakers were being serious
LikeLike
So – you think 40+ year old people are attractive??
#imlistening
LikeLike
Yep. Especially silver foxes. Mmmmm #Nice #DontLikeEmYounger #ExceptForChrisHemsworth
LikeLike
#dang
#wellshit
LikeLike
So basically Eugene Levy reprises his role from Splash. Also, Gooby pls.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Also, Gooby pls”
Succinct and terse. And fucking hilarious.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Based on this review, I’d say Gooby is probably much, much better than Where the Wild Things Are.
LikeLike
Yeah, especially the puppetry on display :p
LikeLike
YOU’RE a fucking Gooby!!!
LikeLike
Gooby probably gets laid a ton.
LikeLike
Just like you!
#SPLURT
LikeLike
OMFG that is the creepiest posters I’ve ever seen…Gooby looks like a deranged psychopath hell bent on world domination, or a presidential candidate…either one. Still creepy!
LikeLike
GOOBY FOR PRESIDENT!!!
LikeLike
He’s even creepier when he’s attempting shitty slapstick!
LikeLike
LOL i don’t think I ever want to see that!
LikeLike
Jeeeeeezzzzzzusssssss.
LikeLike
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
LikeLike
and the hit sequel Pubey
LikeLike
and its’ sequel: Scrotey
LikeLike
Did someone say my name
LikeLike
I sent out the Scrotey Signal…
Want to go to Prague with me tomorrow for a funeral?
LikeLike
Jesus I’m going to have Gooby nightmares tonight.
LikeLike
Me too!! I guess I better load the shotgun…
LikeLike
Coming soon, the Gooby plush figure!
LikeLike
That’s funny. I enjoyed this one.
LikeLike
I’ve never seen this film but that bear looks like a total pedophile!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My thoughts exactly Anna -.-
LikeLike
Holy shit! Is that the bear thing from The Shining that’s sucking the guy off in the hotel room? That explains a lot of the horror
LikeLike
It’s your fucking doppleganger.
LikeLike
WTF should be the headline! OMG this is bad… just really really bad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL – thank god for shitfest, huh???
#thanksfortheretweetshotstuff
LikeLike
Yes thank you Lord HAHAhA. Without Shitfest there would not be life.
#noproblemohotstuff
LikeLike
And some unprepared lady on the west coast might see a movie titled “Gooby” and give it a rent, thinking it’s a movie about Jimmy Carter or Charles Schultz.
#goobers
#peanuts
#xoxoxoxox
LikeLike
I had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting through this nightmare inducing trash several years back; it’s only fair that I share my suffering with the world!
LikeLike
Christ, there’s some weird shit out there. Gooby sounds like slang for what comes out both ends when you sneeze and fart at the same time.
LikeLike
Hi Monkey, I – wait, what?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
LikeLike
Ohhh, there’s farting in the film that’s for sure!
LikeLike
OH HOLY SHIT THAT GOOBY PIC IS SCARY!!! …Good job and all, but I’m gonna go hide now…
#fear #goobyisascarymotherfucker
LikeLike
Cara Gale,
Arm Miguel with an Uzi and some Camel Straights and you should be good to go. It’s already in The Code.
#properpreperationisthekeytosurvival
#noharmshallcometocaragale
LikeLike
He’s standing on the porch all prepared right now. Getting weird looks from the neighbors, too, but they all scatter when he waves his Uzi in the air and spouts profanity.
#mylittleangel
LikeLike
Perfection.
LikeLike
Pretty much. 🙂
LikeLike
Gooby is even scarier when he’s farting and attempting shitty comedy!
LikeLike
God I can only imagine…
#thehorror
LikeLike
I couldn’t get past Robbie Coltrane being in something so obviously, utterly, mind-warpingly shit! I love that guy : (
LikeLike
That bear is positively hideous.
LikeLike
No doubt!!!
LikeLike