First Shitfest entry: The Adam Sandler movie that broke my soul
Hello, Shitfest Readers. I am enormously honoured to be partaking in this legendary event today. If you are taking part, good luck, and my condolences for the bad movies you sat through (every single one of them). I hope you enjoy my post!
So I finally sat down and wrote this out after a not so gentle nudge from Zoë. You see, after watching Grown Ups 2 I knew I had found the shittiest piece of shit in Shitland. It took some time planning what I would say for a variety of reasons. I was firstly so absolutely scarred by what I saw. It is never easy to speak (or write) about traumatic experiences. Secondly, I needed to deal with the large amount of grief that consumed me after watching this film and the knowledge that other people would find this funny and confirm that humanity is in fact doomed. I was very sad about my eyes having to see this and had to organise my thoughts around it.
In a long list of bad movies, Adam Sandler is at it again, and frequently. He seems to take the greatest delight in destroying good feelings about watching movies and is persistent in his endeavours to ruin Hollywood. I suspect he is working with a mission here – to destroy all good movies.
Have you actually ever seen something REMOTELY good with him in it? NO. THERE IS NOTHING. AT ALL . He had a hand in writing Grown Ups 2 and that explains so much about the quality of the movie. If someone remotely intelligent or actually funny had had a hand in writing this it could have been something marginally better. NOTE TO SANDLER: If you can’t get a decent writer to write a movie, know something is wrong with the general idea.
Grown Ups 2 manages to give plenty of stars bad reputations. Okay, I haven’t actually seen Kevin James in something completely worthwhile, but he isn’t that bad. Same goes for David Spade, who ROCKED in 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter. I get sad tears in my eyes thinking of Maya Rudolph and Salma Hayek now. They used to be decent actresses and I had seen some memorable movies of them. Now all I will ever think about is Grown Ups 2 and their association with it.
Taylor Lautner. It is not natural for anyone’s neck to be that size #justSaying. Even though you might hate the Twilight franchise everyone can agree that it had a story at least. He was better in Shark Boy vs Lava Girl than he was in here. His character is just so strange and even more removed from reality than the rest of the characters.
What else went wrong?
NO storyline. What actually happens in here?NOOOOOOTTTTTHHHHIIINNNG.
I am now forced to question a friendship of roughly fourteen years because the person who made me watch this is not my friend and the even more pressing concern is why she liked it.
Salma Hayek being married to Adam Sandler. I mean really?
That big guy walking away and not hitting Sandler. I would have been SO thankful.
Deer.In.House. I live in Africa and I have never had a deer close to my house. Maybe if the movie didn’t start off with a Deer urinating in Sandler’s face the movie might have not have been that bad. (A special thanks to the Deer. It did make me feel better retrospectively)
That big kid sharing any genetics with David Spade. Get a DNA test done dude.
Taylor Lautner getting into University.Pfft.
I cannot send enough warnings out into the universe to warn people to not watch this. Comedy, when done well, is a great thing from time to time but this is not good at all. There is nothing good in it and it is such cheap, toilet humour.
It seems that Sandler is still not content with the disaster he creates. He has also now produced Blended, a ridiculous looking thing that takes place in South-Africa if I am not mistaken. Sir, just back off. NOW.
Oh my god, that Taylor Lautner pic is terrifying! I truly hate really bad comedies like this. Its just depressing to watch unfunny assholes getting up to ‘hilarious’ hijinks. Natasha, you’re a brave girl!
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It is the scariest right?!?! I am scared forever. I also hate these senseless comedies but was forced into watching 😦
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Adam Sandler only makes movies now to get free vacations. I still like Happy Gilmore, though.
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Agreed. Okay, maybe he made one good movie ages ago 🙂
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Or two…
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I’m a secret fan of both Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison because psychologically I’m a 12 year old boy, but all of this modern Sandler is a big waste of time! Love your review though, this must have been a really frustrating experience.
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Haha great stuff. Seems Sandler just declined with the years and he has always been dodgy to start with. Thanks! It was definitely.
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LOL poor friend, this sounds like it was a dreadful movie to get through, and I feel for you for having done it. I haven’t watched a Sandler movie in YEARS.
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Don’t friend. Don’t.
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JB:
1) We need to come up with a nickname for Natasha. It doesn’t sound right, me calling here “bestest”… thoughts?
2) I actually think Mr. Deeds is funny and am I the only person who liked Punch Drunk Love?
3) Other than that his movies are mostly shit.
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PSC:
1) I usually call her Frowns. Truly. Autocorrect named her. Advise whether that works, otherwise I have a massive treasure trove to sift through.
2) I liked The Longest Yard (don’t even ask me why, but it wasn’t that bad considering it was one of his more recent ones), and I did like Punch Drunk Love when I saw it, but I have never gone back to it, and so I cannot comment further.
3) We cannot deny they have become really, really terrible.
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Beloved JB,
Frowns eh? I suppose that could work as long as she approves 🙂
Love,
PSC
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PSC,
We shall have to rope her in, otherwise I must dig around in my chest. There are plenty to pick from 😛
In primary school I called her Minx (and it had nothing to do with the kinky denotations it holds now).
Love,
JB
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Dearest JB,
Hopefully she’ll come around and let us know what she prefers. I like Minx 🙂
Love,
SSC
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My SSC,
Yeah, I thought you would lol!
I am sure she will render a verdict sometime soon (probably tonight when she has blog access – provided her internet does not kick up a fuss this time).
Love,
JB
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MY JB,
LOL 🙂
I’ll wait by the phone – oh wait, now I have one of those mobile jobs – I’ll carry it with me while I prowl around town.
Love,
Sinner
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My Sinna!!!
Those new fandangled things take all the fun out of anticipation! Meh. Oh well. I shall drop you one of those small message thingamajigs that use a few characters and what not.
Love,
JB
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Warmest JB,
WONDERFUL!!!!
Love,
SSC
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It was never an option for me lol!
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Oh hello dearest friends! I would certainly enjoy this nickname business! But what shall I call Eric? Suggestions!
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Oh I have SUCH a variety for him. The root of it is ultimately Spock Chop, but he is also commonly known as Sinner, Pappy, etc. Pappy Spock, Chop, and many more.
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Pappy!
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He did that himself!
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thank freaking christmas that there is someone else who HATES Adam Sandler! I can’t stand him, just seeing his movies in the list while flipping through the channel guide pisses me off. Someone please put Sandler and Stallone (sorry Eric) on a little life raft in shark infested waters and set them adrift…please!
oh, nice review btw! Very funny!
: )
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You are not alone! I seriously worry about the person that enjoys his movies…
hahaha good idea! We should make a list of who should go on that raft!
Thanks!
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we’d need a big raft if we’re making a list…I’ve got a few more to add
hahahahaha
#imterrible
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A strong raft will be needed!
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….killjoy. I was thinking thin and flimsy, kinda hoping the sharks would get them.
; )
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Awwww why the hell do the sharks always get such a bad wrap?
#misunderstood
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No bad wrap! I’m just trying to feed them some junk food.
#sharkslikefastfoodtoo
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LOL alright there you go, that defends your statement perfectly!
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Can we add people who are tools, even if they aren’t Sandler fans??
#ihavenamestoo
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Hell yes! The more the merrier (merrier for the sharks anyway)
LOL
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Chris Pine!
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Lol!
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WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO??? I’VE NEVER BEEN ANYTHING BUT AFFECTIONATE TO YOU!!!!!!!
😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦 😦
XOXOXOXOXOXOX 🙂
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oh stop whining! You know you’re my man over here on WP.
XOXOXOXOXO
: )
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#soundsperfect
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOX
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P.S. Watched Rocky 2 & 3 for you over the weekend : )
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awwwww, thank you! You felt bad after picking on me for telling you they were on TV didn’t you?!?! But, you watched them, that makes it better.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO : )
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Pick on you??? NEVER!!!
#pick
#poke
#accidentallygrope
#notaccidentally
#ohshit
#runsoutofroom
#peeksaroundcorner
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#chasingyou
#gonnagetyou
#youbetterrunfaster
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#umokaaaaaaysureillgoslower ….
#oopsislipped ….
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#WHAAAAAAAAAAA
#ouch…
#itrippedoveryou
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Did you skin your knee?? Let me know – I’ll apply some salve 🙂
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#youcankeepyoursalvetoyourself
xoxoxoxoxoxo
: )
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LOL
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
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Awwwwwwwwww!
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#gottaloveEric
: )
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I thought Zoe was your friend!!!!!!!!!! OMG horrible this sounds awful I saw part 1 and it was the dumbest thing ever but then they went and made this. You are a brave brave soul!
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hahahaha! No it was definitely not her! She will not be caught dead around this!
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OHHHHHHH ok I thought it was her who convinced you haha ok sorry Z!
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hahaaaaaa nooooooooooooo
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Thank you, apology accepted. My heart is slowing back into its regular pacing now.
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LOL Sorry late on seeing this… I am so sorry Zoe I know you would never ever do this to dear sweet Natasha. hahaha
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You mean you know now… 😉
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PHEW! Thank you for having cleared that up!
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You think I would make her watch this?! Or recommend it?! How did I get dragged into this?!
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Thanks for letting me take part!! and thanks for the banner… I LOVE it both of you!
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THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
LOVE IT!!!
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yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!
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We love you too best one! Thank YOU for participating!
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Reblogged this on Life of this city girl and commented:
I took part in the IPC’s highly anticipated Shitfest Summer edition! Go take a look 🙂
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THANK YOU NATASHA!!!
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Has there been a Sandler movie in every Shitfest so far? I think there must’ve been.
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There sure has…..
#shit
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I actually think you’re right…
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For a very good reason haha
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Lol. Great review, Natasha! I won’t be watching this one – looks AWFUL. And…. This is from someone who was somewhat of a Sandler fan years ago. ; ) Yes, I admit it. I’m sorry!!! But I’ll always love The Wedding Singer. Big Daddy is underrated as well. However, his movies are, sadly, beyond terrible now. : (
Sincerely,
One of the mutants at table nine ; )
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Shit… does she have to go on the raft too if she was an old school Sandler fan??
They do suck. And there used to be decent ones!
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No! Don’t put me on that raft with Stallone!!
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Thank you mutant at table nine! Just don’t. Honestly, I think it may be the most traumatic experiences of my existence.
I’ve always avoided his face but I hear he has some good stuff. Too scared to go exploring haha
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YOU GET ‘IM, NATASHA!!! I haven’t seen Grown Ups 2, but I have seen most of the first one and…yeah. Why? Why was that film necessary? And why was this sequel necessary?! I don’t mind Adam Sandler in some other stuff I guess, but he does play the exact same character over and over and freaking over again, and that’s just shitty.
#longliveshitfest
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I also would love to know how the first one was born and how the second one came to be… sad indeed
#shitfestrules
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I’ve seen something that was remotely good with Adam Sandler! It’s called Click, his final great contribution to society before he started making this trash. Shark Boy vs. Lava Girl haha #Imsoold. Also, if you saw Grown Ups, you wonder how something that disappointing, short-sighted and uneventful could possibly have a sequel. I didn’t see this because I knew it was going to be terrible no matter what my friends said. I’m sorry you weren’t as strong-willed as I.
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Haha I will take your word for it – not getting roped into watching any movie of his for life!
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Okay, but I assure you most of his films during the 90s and early 2000s were pretty good.
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Maybe I’m alone on this, but I didn’t hate it………..also Blended was good. Mainly for Terry Crews, but it really wasn’t horrendous. 🙂
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Haha I’m sure there are some people enjoyed it. I really didn’t though.
Oh I will not be watching blended anytime soon. Glad you enjoyed it though!
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You’ve hit the jackpot of shit here…
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The sad truth indeed.
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I thought “Bulletproof” with Adam Sandler, Daman Wayans and James Caan was pretty good back in the day. I also liked “The Wedding Singer”. I thought “Punch Drunk Love” with Sandler and Phillip Seymour-Hoffman was pretty good. He has been in some decent comedies, but he’s also been in some train-wrecks, as well, like “Little Nicky” that I think was forgotten by some of you who listed his terrible movies…
But honestly, I’m not going to lie, I was channel surfing a few months ago and caught “Jack & Jill” on and gave it a minute and it was actually making me laugh. When I turned it there Adam Sandler’s kids were talking Jill into signing up for a dating service and she ends up on a date w/ Norm McDonald who takes off in the middle of dinner – and then she meets Al Pacino (playing himself) a few minutes later and Al instantly falls in love with Jill, but Jill wants nothing to do with him, and Al starts stalking her, etc. I actually thought it was humorous. I am not saying it’s a high-quality film; it was just intended to be very silly, and that’s what it was. Pacino is such a damn talented actor he can play a silly role like a dude falling in love with a man dressed like a woman, and make you actually believe it. He stayed in character. Was not cracking a smile. Al is talented. 🙂 “Jack and Jill” was better than that abomination “88 Minutes” that Pacino starred in a few years back.
I do agree most of Sandler’s movies are pretty bad. So, don’t ban me! lol. I just think “Jack & Jill” was actually better than most of his other ones I’ve seen. Sandler actually did a good job staying in character as the ultra-annoying Jill. Don’t block my posting rights!! I’m not recommending the film for anyone. Jus’ sayin’. 🙂
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Wow, you’re a brave lady. I watched some shite while I was trying to find something perfectly terrible for Shitfest, but even I draw the line at Adam Sandler!
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Sounds like a giant turd! However I have to fight for the one good Adam Sandler movie, The Wedding Singer. I love that movie.
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I considered it a foregone conclusion that this flick would be rubbish. So I have never, and will never, see it.
But one thing decent in which Sandler appears? Punch Drunk Love. It is fantastic.
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