Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2014: SUMMER ~ GROWN UPS 2 (2013)

SFSOFFICIAL

BY: LIFE OF THIS CITY GIRL

First Shitfest entry: The Adam Sandler movie that broke my soul

Hello, Shitfest Readers. I am enormously honoured to be partaking in this legendary event today. If you are taking part, good luck, and my condolences for the bad movies you sat through (every single one of them). I hope you enjoy my post!

grownups poster

So I finally sat down and wrote this out after a not so gentle nudge from Zoë. You see, after watching Grown Ups 2 I knew I had found the shittiest piece of shit in Shitland. It took some time planning what I would say for a variety of reasons. I was firstly so absolutely scarred by what I saw. It is never easy to speak (or write) about traumatic experiences. Secondly, I needed to deal with the large amount of grief that consumed me after watching this film and the knowledge that other people would find this funny and confirm that humanity is in fact doomed.  I was very sad about my eyes having to see this and had to organise my thoughts around it.

crying

In a long list of bad movies, Adam Sandler is at it again, and frequently. He seems to take the greatest delight in destroying good feelings about watching movies and is persistent in his endeavours to ruin Hollywood. I suspect he is working with a mission here – to destroy all good movies.

Have you actually ever seen something REMOTELY good with him in it? NO. THERE IS NOTHING. AT ALL . He had a hand in writing Grown Ups 2 and that explains so much about the quality of the movie. If someone remotely intelligent or actually funny had had a hand in writing this it could have been something marginally better. NOTE TO SANDLER: If you can’t get a decent writer to write a movie, know something is wrong with the general idea.

adam sandler - shitfest

Grown Ups 2 manages to give plenty of stars bad reputations. Okay, I haven’t actually seen Kevin James in something completely worthwhile, but he isn’t that bad. Same goes for David Spade, who ROCKED in 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter. I get sad tears in my eyes thinking of Maya Rudolph and Salma Hayek now. They used to be decent actresses and I had seen some memorable movies of them. Now all I will ever think about is Grown Ups 2 and their association with it.

Taylor Lautner. It is not natural for anyone’s neck to be that size #justSaying. Even though you might hate the Twilight franchise everyone can agree that it had a story at least. He was better in Shark Boy vs Lava Girl than he was in here. His character is just so strange and even more removed from reality than the rest of the characters.

TL in grownups2

What else went wrong?

NO storyline. What actually happens in here?NOOOOOOTTTTTHHHHIIINNNG.

I am now forced to question a friendship of roughly fourteen years because the person who made me watch this is not my friend and the even more pressing concern is why she liked it.

Salma Hayek being married to Adam Sandler. I mean really?

That big guy walking away and not hitting Sandler. I would have been SO thankful.

Deer.In.House. I live in Africa and I have never had a deer close to my house. Maybe if the movie didn’t start off with a Deer urinating in Sandler’s face the movie might have not have been that bad. (A special thanks to the Deer. It did make me feel better retrospectively)

That big kid sharing any genetics with David Spade. Get a DNA test done dude.

Taylor Lautner getting into University.Pfft.

I cannot send enough warnings out into the universe to warn people to not watch this. Comedy, when done well, is a great thing from time to time but this is not good at all. There is nothing good in it and it is such cheap, toilet humour.

It seems that Sandler is still not content with the disaster he creates. He has also now produced Blended, a ridiculous looking thing that takes place in South-Africa if I am not mistaken. Sir, just back off. NOW.

85 comments

  1. I’m a secret fan of both Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison because psychologically I’m a 12 year old boy, but all of this modern Sandler is a big waste of time! Love your review though, this must have been a really frustrating experience.

    Like

      • theipc

        JB:

        1) We need to come up with a nickname for Natasha. It doesn’t sound right, me calling here “bestest”… thoughts?

        2) I actually think Mr. Deeds is funny and am I the only person who liked Punch Drunk Love?

        3) Other than that his movies are mostly shit.

        Like

      • PSC:

        1) I usually call her Frowns. Truly. Autocorrect named her. Advise whether that works, otherwise I have a massive treasure trove to sift through.

        2) I liked The Longest Yard (don’t even ask me why, but it wasn’t that bad considering it was one of his more recent ones), and I did like Punch Drunk Love when I saw it, but I have never gone back to it, and so I cannot comment further.

        3) We cannot deny they have become really, really terrible.

        Like

      • PSC,

        We shall have to rope her in, otherwise I must dig around in my chest. There are plenty to pick from 😛

        In primary school I called her Minx (and it had nothing to do with the kinky denotations it holds now).

        Love,

        JB

        Like

      • My SSC,

        Yeah, I thought you would lol!

        I am sure she will render a verdict sometime soon (probably tonight when she has blog access – provided her internet does not kick up a fuss this time).

        Love,

        JB

        Like

      • theipc

        MY JB,

        LOL 🙂

        I’ll wait by the phone – oh wait, now I have one of those mobile jobs – I’ll carry it with me while I prowl around town.

        Love,

        Sinner

        Like

      • My Sinna!!!

        Those new fandangled things take all the fun out of anticipation! Meh. Oh well. I shall drop you one of those small message thingamajigs that use a few characters and what not.

        Love,

        JB

        Like

  2. thank freaking christmas that there is someone else who HATES Adam Sandler! I can’t stand him, just seeing his movies in the list while flipping through the channel guide pisses me off. Someone please put Sandler and Stallone (sorry Eric) on a little life raft in shark infested waters and set them adrift…please!
    oh, nice review btw! Very funny!
    : )

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Lol. Great review, Natasha! I won’t be watching this one – looks AWFUL. And…. This is from someone who was somewhat of a Sandler fan years ago. ; ) Yes, I admit it. I’m sorry!!! But I’ll always love The Wedding Singer. Big Daddy is underrated as well. However, his movies are, sadly, beyond terrible now. : (

    Sincerely,

    One of the mutants at table nine ; )

    Liked by 1 person

  4. YOU GET ‘IM, NATASHA!!! I haven’t seen Grown Ups 2, but I have seen most of the first one and…yeah. Why? Why was that film necessary? And why was this sequel necessary?! I don’t mind Adam Sandler in some other stuff I guess, but he does play the exact same character over and over and freaking over again, and that’s just shitty.

    #longliveshitfest

    Like

  5. I’ve seen something that was remotely good with Adam Sandler! It’s called Click, his final great contribution to society before he started making this trash. Shark Boy vs. Lava Girl haha #Imsoold. Also, if you saw Grown Ups, you wonder how something that disappointing, short-sighted and uneventful could possibly have a sequel. I didn’t see this because I knew it was going to be terrible no matter what my friends said. I’m sorry you weren’t as strong-willed as I.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. garylee828

    I thought “Bulletproof” with Adam Sandler, Daman Wayans and James Caan was pretty good back in the day. I also liked “The Wedding Singer”. I thought “Punch Drunk Love” with Sandler and Phillip Seymour-Hoffman was pretty good. He has been in some decent comedies, but he’s also been in some train-wrecks, as well, like “Little Nicky” that I think was forgotten by some of you who listed his terrible movies…

    But honestly, I’m not going to lie, I was channel surfing a few months ago and caught “Jack & Jill” on and gave it a minute and it was actually making me laugh. When I turned it there Adam Sandler’s kids were talking Jill into signing up for a dating service and she ends up on a date w/ Norm McDonald who takes off in the middle of dinner – and then she meets Al Pacino (playing himself) a few minutes later and Al instantly falls in love with Jill, but Jill wants nothing to do with him, and Al starts stalking her, etc. I actually thought it was humorous. I am not saying it’s a high-quality film; it was just intended to be very silly, and that’s what it was. Pacino is such a damn talented actor he can play a silly role like a dude falling in love with a man dressed like a woman, and make you actually believe it. He stayed in character. Was not cracking a smile. Al is talented. 🙂 “Jack and Jill” was better than that abomination “88 Minutes” that Pacino starred in a few years back.

    I do agree most of Sandler’s movies are pretty bad. So, don’t ban me! lol. I just think “Jack & Jill” was actually better than most of his other ones I’ve seen. Sandler actually did a good job staying in character as the ultra-annoying Jill. Don’t block my posting rights!! I’m not recommending the film for anyone. Jus’ sayin’. 🙂

    Like

  7. I considered it a foregone conclusion that this flick would be rubbish. So I have never, and will never, see it.

    But one thing decent in which Sandler appears? Punch Drunk Love. It is fantastic.

    Liked by 1 person

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